have you ever thought of suicide? cause I did.

Not once, not even twice. It was a bit often at times, especially when I feel down.

Today... I must've lost a precious friend. 

It wasn't the first time, so why must it hurt so bad?

I guess it's because it was a real one this time.

But knowing it's not the first time to lose a friend,

I guess I've been a bad friend.

Not only to her, but to others too.

I hate being bad.

Being on the wrong side.

I hate it so much...

that I start hating myself.

And to the point that sometimes, 

I think I shouldn't exist instead.

Maybe I should give up.

Maybe it's time for me to stop bothering people

because I'm just a bad fruit.

No one should ever pick.