are you a muslim dongsaeng? :)

I know your feelings. It feels really bad and every time, the only thing I can ever do is to be perfect, only to be imperfect. You can say that I'm a perfectionist, I want to be perfect but we have to face the reality, we are all imperfect. But of course, I never let those get into me. I mean, no matter what, if I want to be perfect, I should fix my imperfections first. My friend, don't look at others, for they are not perfect. They look perfect but inside, you never know how much of flaws they have. To encourage yourself like how I do, praise yourself. Tell yourself "Maybe, I'm born to be a genius! I bet I'm the cleverest person on Earth." This way you won't feel discouraged.
About why you hate people so easily, I also know your feelings. I have good friends and gain best friends, only to hate them afterwards. No doubt, in the end, I will ask myself "Am I born to be alone and be someone with no friends?" I know your feelings. For me, being called a freak by my "best friend" and not being respected by my "best friends", it hurts a lot. You know, if I have a choice, I will choose to be cold to everyone. Haha, I'm so serious. I apologise for my rantings even though its supposed to be yours. Remember, always encourage yourself. If you're sad, hurt, angry, let it all out. Don't bottle your feelings. You can do it! Fighting!