It took me almost a year to return to writing on AFF. I was in the middle of my first story when I went on an undeclared hiatus, and I guess a lot happened between then and now because I'm finding it hard to continue Chasing After My Fangirl Dream the way I wrote it pre-hiatus. For the most part, it's a struggle trying to return to the writing style I used back then. 

   I started Fangirl Dream (because yes, I'm too lazy to type it out but wow I should've just typed the whole title instead of this unneccesarily long side comment) back in 2011. I don't know if I should be glad about this, but I think I matured (minimally) since then. A lot about me changed, and it was inevitable for my writing style to follow suit.

   When I came back to make an attempt at reviving the story I left, I decided to tweak and proofread it as well. While I was doing so, however, I realized just how different I sounded before. I almost thought it was another person writing those chapters. And I gotta admit, I cringed a little. I guess that's normal, though, so I left most of the chapters alone. Except for some tiny parts that I really couldn't stand. Those, I edited just a teeny tiny bit to tone down the cray. 

   Not to say that my way of telling the story didn't change (I'd like to call it 'develop', but lol) since I started writing the fic until that time right before I went on hiatus because it definitely did, but that was almost unnoticable since I continuously updated the fic, thus making the change feel gradual. From my hiatus until now, though, that's a different story. There's been a year-long gap between the last pre-hiatus chapter and the one I wrote just a few days ago (and the ones I still will, hopefully), and the change in style was, at first, so blaringly obvious that I had to edit it countless times before (I thought) I made something reminiscent of my earlier AFF days. 

   Why do I make myself sound like I've been here for decades lol

   At the moment, I'm most concerned about the possibility that I might subconsciously change the story's flow and mood because of these reasons. I'm afraid of messing up that certain factor that made the readers want to read it in the first place. In an attempt to experiment with different styles, I decided to start another fic in a different genre. Hopefully, it would help me pay more attention to the way I write my first.

   Whether or not my way of writing it changes, though, I'm set on finishing Fangirl Dream. It's my first story, and I just feel like it'd be too bad if I left it unfinished. I only hope the lovely readers who stayed with this fic despite its inactivity bears with me for now. I'll try my best to pick up my pace again. Soon, hopefully.