I just want to rant. If you don't want to read, then get out.

I mean it.

Okay, anyone still there?

I'll start now.

My friend, he's really a great one, has recently told me his mom has cancer. I wasn't too surprised, she hadn't been looking well, and he was starting to do poorly on alot of his homework, which isn't like him because he's just super smart.

I felt pity.

His family just got a new addition to it, a new baby boy adopted from Africa. Their family is already struggling, and with my friend now having a younger sister with a disability, and a new baby, I don't know how he's coping with his mom. His dad's working overtime, and he has to take care of his siblings. He's so young, not old enough to be a father, but somehow, he can't back down from the challenge. He was always such a competitive person.

But now he told me that his mom has an underlying condition that makes the chemotherapy treatment lose its effect, and she can't have chemo anymore.

She has 15 months left.

I wanted to cry. And he did cry. And I couldn't do anything but hold him and say that it was fine.

I lied to his face, and he knew that, and he didn't want to believe that it was a lie. So we cried some more, and prayed, and cried even more, but it doesn't really work, does it? The combination of cryng and praying, it doesn't have any effect on anyone.

So don't pray. What can it do? Everyone tells me to pray, adn to hope, and to dream, but it's all just a load of crap. God listens? No, he has bigger things to take care of. The only thing that I can do is pray for a cure to be found. Medicine, science, I don't know anything about it.

But someone does, and they have to do something.

We all do.

So, here I am, weeping because I can't do it anywhere else. You never cry in front of someone, all you get are hugs and more crying. You do it by yourself, where you can colsole yourself and cry as much as you want. But never hold your tears back.

I love you, my friend.

So, here's some spam for listening/reading to my thoughts. I'm sorry for having to do this.

SNSD's Sunny. Becasue she's the only thing that helps.