A lot of people in this world struggle whether it's a one-off or through out their whole life. But I'm not going to go Mother Teresa on you, I respect the woman but that isn't what I'm talking about.

On AFF you come across heaps of different people. Some older, some younger and some around your age with different ethinicities, preferences and struggles. Some of them you know because you either a) know the person in real life or b) they blog about it or tell you in a message. I tend to lean towards number 2 because I'm not in direct contact with anyone on here at the moment and may not end up doing so for now. 

So how do we tend to help these people? Usually it's a nice comment or reply back and we leave it at that. If you live close by then you can go and treat them to something. If you have a particular faith then you may pray or bless them I have yet to come across this. 

However there are some things I have learned while being on AFF as an older member of the site and the people I've come across.

1. Don't expect to solve everyone's problems: we aren't magical creatures that can grant wishes or have a particular body part that can  cure poison (unicorns anyone?) so you can tell someone what they should do but at the end of the day that is your opinion which they may disregard or forget. Don't get butthurt because you told someone not to go after that guy and they did. Plus there are professionals who are trained to deal with the kinds of situations you may read about on here. Psychologists, psychiatrist, hotlines, pastors, counsellors all these people are just some examples of those who would help them better than you or I may be able to. 

2. You learn from mistakes: as much as it hurts to have failed that test or have that friend betray you in the end you may have gained some valuable insight which could help you the next time you come across it. Next time you will study instead of cramming or you will be more cautious when it comes to telling things to people you are not yet close with.

3. People won't want help until they realise they need it. No good telling someone you care about to stop cutting themselves if they see it as no big deal or a joke. There may come a point where they see that they need to do something about it. Self realisation tends to play an important part in recovering from an addiction or breaking a particular habit. Until then you can only pat them on the back which leads to my next point.

4. Sometimes people need a kick up the more than a comforting word. Use with caution, telling a person who is depressed that they need to get over it can be as stupid as applying a band-aid to a swollen ankle. It will still hurt like hell and the person may end up getting worse. Discern whether the situation is appropriate before using this rather harsh approach.

And lastly 5. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just listen. If you cannot relate to the problem at hand sometimes it's best to listen and nothing more. Sadly that can't be done on here but maybe explain to the person that you never struggled with it so you'll be there but you won't be able to tell them much that will be of benefit. 

Don't take what I say to be correct. I'd rather people use common sense when I write these blogs than to take what I say to be true without any basis. Better for me to be knocked down rather than puffed up.

So finally enjoy being friends with others and support one another through out the highs and lows :)