≈ counting bodies like sheep

long a/n:

i'd say this was for my dear friend melissa but then i'd feel bad because this is actually the worst thing i've ever written so it's not for you (because i love you). haha. i'd laugh if you enjoyed it. no really please skip this. i feel like i need to mention that i don't ship kaisoo much (i don't get it sorry) and i had to do the tiniest bit of research to do this. sorry it . pudding fellow you're too cool for this. and to everyone who reads it i'm terribly sorry...

oh goodness.

here goes nothing.

Kai and Kyungsoo walk together to the large gates of the graveyard. Kai thinks it looks like something straight out of a horror movie, and the edges are rusting, and he’s completely frightened right down to his boots, just at the gate. Kyungsoo thinks it’s pretty cool for the same reason.

Kyungsoo also likes it because it scares Kai, and Kai is a little cry baby when it comes to these things, so he grips onto Kyungsoo’s sleeve as they keep walking. He only likes this because he’s been (not so) secretly crushing on Kai since they first met.

It’s funny, because everyone knows Kai is much taller than Kyungsoo.

It’s almost midnight; Kai knows this because he finally decided to wear his watch that day.

They stand by the gate, waiting for their boss, and Kai looks up at the foggy clouds that cover up parts of the full moon, and he wonders why he ever accepted the job in the first place. Kai just has this feeling that werewolves and zombies will come out and dance around or something, and that he and Kyungsoo won’t come out alive.

Kyungsoo calls out to the man walking, and he waves enthusiastically, and the man waves back. He’s wearing a black hooded coat, and the coat is so long that it goes up to his ankles, and he’s carrying a scythe, and Kai is practically shaking as he grips Kyungsoo’s arm in his death hold.

The scary, hooded man that looks surprisingly like the Grim Reaper gives them a clipboard.

“G-Grim Reaper?” Kai calls out in a cowardly voice that sends both Kyungsoo and the Grim Reaper to hysterics as he takes off his hood.

Kai turns away, as if looking at the face behind the cloak would give him some zombie virus or something.

“Hey, asswipe, it’s me, Hyukjae. Just go, it’s past midnight now. Good luck too, I think you’ll need it,” And then with a dramatic wink, Hyukjae and his recently-dyed platinum blond hair skip off into the darkness.

Kai never got to ask why Hyukjae was holding a scythe.

“Well that was just riveting,” Kyungsoo drawls, laughing at Kai, who proceeds to slap him rather weakly on the arm.

They push on the gate together (well not really, Kai is kind of scared of the rust getting on his hands) and they enter the oddly stereotypical looking graveyard. Kai is still clinging on to Kyungsoo.

“So,” Kyungsoo announces with an overly dramatic voice, “on the list it says we need to make sure all the bodies are here, all two hundred of them.”

And Kai shudders, and lets out a breathy whimper. “J-Just… in case they got up and danced away?” He hesitates, and grips Kyungsoo’s arm a little harder to make sure he’s being noticed.

Kyungsoo furrows his eyebrows. “Danced away, really? Because zombies have dancing talent, Kai.”

Kai scowls, because he feels offended. Not knowing why he feels offended, he punches Kyungsoo lightly on the shoulder with a glare before the howl of a wolf cries out, and Kai lets out a loud scream and clings on to Kyungsoo with his life.

Kyungsoo finds the courage in himself to laugh.

Usually it’s Kyungsoo that’s the more flamboyant one, the more girly one, the one Kai likes to make fun of, but they both know deep in their hearts that Kai is as straight as a rainbow, and is practically in love with Hello Kitty, and it a huge scaredy cat when it comes to horror movies.

But Kyungsoo likes to cook. It’s a bit weird, sure, but who cares.

“Holy mother of-” Kai screams (and it’s not particularly manly) when a bird decides to fly by.

“Oh goodness I’m shaking to the core,” Kyungsoo says sarcastically. “Let’s get this over with so we can leave faster.”

“Yes please,” Kai squeaks, and that’s the night he learns that Kyungsoo’s laugh is one of the best things he’s seen, even when he’s laughing at Kai.

Because when Kyungsoo smiles, Kai smiles as well.

-

“One hundred and ninety six, oh goodness, I’m so tired,” Kyungsoo yawns, and Kai is slightly less scared than he was. “I wish we could finish.”

“Well, the other four are over there,” Kai points to four more graves, and he feels a bit of a chill run through his spine, so obviously, his body spazzes back.

Kyungsoo writes them all down on the piece of paper before looking up, “are we done…?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” Kai confirms, tired, and walks by himself out the gate (he kicks it open in hopes of regaining his man-pride. It doesn’t work at all,) and he slumps down and leans his back against the dirty stone walls. “That was tiring, and it wasn’t scary at all.”

“I agree with the tiring part,” Kyungsoo says, lumbering out. “But you were screaming like a baby.”

“So were you.”

“No I wasn’t.”

Kai eventually shuts up, his words being replaced with soft snores, and Kyungsoo plops down next to him, rather surprised Kai can sleep so quickly.

“A job well done, you two,” came Hyukjae’s voice, but he was shushed as soon as he approached, because Kyungsoo couldn’t bear to wake Kai up.

And it didn’t seem like Kai had any intentions to wake up, because he just rolled his head around a snored a bit more.

Hyukjae takes the clipboard from Kyungsoo and says, “I used to do this all the time. It was like counting sheep to go to bed, just for the crazy people.”

i'm so so so so so so sorry. it doesn't even have a plot wtf is this crap.