i just read some posts about the life of being a fan and what i've read broke my heart. :(

all its content revolved around a certain gist: BEING A FAN CAN MEAN HAPPINESS YET HEARTBREAKING.

fans, especially international fans tend to support and show their love to their idols by buying albums, going to foreign countries to attend concerts, lining to dozens of fan signing events. etc. 

we patiently wait for our idols' comeback...

we save lots of money to purchase official merchandises...

we try to learn their language to feel that we're 'closer' to them...

we take our effort and time just to take a glimpse of them...

we do every possible things for our biases...

we do this out of love for them...

we do not complain because we feel that we are happy, we are satisfied, we feel blissful.

though being a just a fan cost us literally our own lives.. (our effort, time, money, EVERYTHING)

we tend to be more 'in' to the fandoms we're currently in.

the sad truth that our biases may just consider us just some of their fans is quite harsh.

the sad truth that they would not know how much we love them in the depth of our hearts is really unbearable.

the sad truth that i'm just a fan and he is a well-known idol and that no romance or even friendly encounter may happen is heartrecking.

the sad truth that he is there, in a foreign country and i'm here staring at the screen of my personal computer waiting for updates about what's happening to him is pitiful.

i know, PITIFUL. people collectively told me that i'm such a pity for loving celebrities. 

i understand that they are just concern. they want me to "get a life" but how can i do that without KPOP? if it became part of my life?

how can i wake up each day if one of the first things i do is think about what's the latest news about my idols?

it is indeed unfair that i'm here dying to get a news about them while they face their career.

i mean, it's unfair that i love him but he doesn't even know that a certain someone like me exists.

it's like i've written a love story with an unreachable prince charming. 

i've written something that is about an ordinary me and the popular him, a love story that never begin yet not ending.

but 

amidst all the heartaches it gave us...

amidst all that pairings of idols to idols  (and no fan to idols) ...

amidst all the physical hurt we get just to see them...

amidst all the expenses we allot to satisfy our fangirl/fanboy needs...

 

we are still the

cheerful supporters

patient fangirls and fanboys

ones who unconditionally love them with all our hearts.

 

They are termed as ""stars" because they shine birghtly, they glow in the sky... they are those we tend to dream of reaching and we,

their supporters are considered as the ground.

but amidst all the impossibles in life, what if stars are in the sky? there are falling stars, right? 

 

time will come that a falling star will come down from heavens to unite with the ground right?

so it means that we should believe that there's nothing impossible to a hopeful heart.

 

:)
 

i love you my dear bias! saranghae~~~ <3 FOREVER :)

 

(c) XIAOLUV

 

03-17-13

 

:*