1.       Lock yourself in a room preferably with no internet so you aren’t tempted to log into facebook and see the sappy love lives of everyone else

2.       Don’t call any of your friends. They may be having fun

3.       Don’t talk to your parents. They have been married

4.       Mourn and cry yourself to sleep

The end.

No, just kidding. In this lovely (overrated) holiday where lovers express love for each other, there seems to be an eternal war going on between the cynics and the star-crossed lovers. I’m stuck awkwardly in the middle and let me tell you why.

Dear Cynics,

You guys are so deep in denial its super funny. In reality, we all want a “prince” someone who will treasure is and make us feel special. We want roses (no matter how impractical and ridiculously expensive they are, I mean 49 bucks for a red flower! I could eat like 5 KFC family meals for the same price and be happier) because it shows just how much our significant other half cares. So just let them lovers goof around and exchange saliva and maybe paste a smile onto that face.

Cos we’re all so much more attractive when we’re smiling. (Okay exempt me please. I look like a derp 24/7 my friends can all vouch for that)

Dear sickeningly sweet lovers,

Please don’t rub it in my face how nonexistent my love life is. Leave me alone to eat buckets of chocolate.

Thank you

P.S To my future boyfriend, please by me a tomato plant instead of roses, they’re red and much more tasty.