i'm glad this holiday is finally here, so i can buy chocolates on sale.

i still have writer's block when it comes to a christmas oneshot. i know that was more than a month ago, but it's not going to waste. i could work on something else, but i don't know what's up with me lately. i have no interest in most things. typical depression. all i do is watch basketball on tv. last week, i was trying to get my together. so hopefully, there's more of that and you'll see something soon. 

whenever i'm motivated, i'm out of battery or i have to go to sleep like now. i feel like the less i'm around fic, the more i'm around the bad side of fandom. i mean everyone here is delusional enough including myself. i don't need to spell it out. but elsewhere, es be crazy. and i've seen too much of that lately. it's easier to avoid when you stick to certain areas of the internet. i need to get back tot hat. 

Ideas are easy. Story structure and execution is what's hard. We've got a million ideas.

someone should write about how cl planned a well-timed escape to new york to avoid teddy, who she had a thing with for awhile. but they stopped, which contributed to the delay of the comeback. how unprofessional. he distracted himself by putting everything into the cafe instead of producing much to the disappointment of yg. luckily, psy made him enough money for him not to give too many s. and when she found out the opening was on valentine's day she peaced the out. she held onto her phone all night waiting for updates on the party forgetting the time difference and ignoring that she was also at a party. she texted the girls and jiyong. oh jiyong knew how clueless she was. how pathetic she was when it came to teddy. and he wished he could be her knight in shining armor, but he was a hot mess himself. in the jumbled mess of creative genius and asshattery he called a mind, he couldn't piece together why they fit, but couldn't make it work. 

and so it was valentine's day. and they were both alone while in the company of friends. and there would be more valentine's day after this one. with more or less people. same and different. until the one day they choose to spend it together. when he gets his together. and she finally moves on. only then will they have the love he writes about and the she sings for.

did i just write a drabble?