Has anyone gone CRAZY looking for romance novels at some point or another? It's like you're starving and you can't stop.

I don't know if it's because I got really bad grades on my midterms, I've just reached that critical point in my fanfic novel, I want to get to know the guys around me better, or that Valentine's Day is only (GULP) 3 weeks away. But I'm just suddenly feeling lonely and wishing there was someone to care for me.

(BTW when I mean bad grades on my midterms, I'm only half exaggerating. Yes, I probably got the highest score in math and physics ones, but I at everything else. Guess what my dad tutors me in? Hint: The reason why I'm living in America is because he won first place in a National Physics Competition. Yup, good to know.)

Now, I know being in a relationship is a totally different world with its own problems. I kinda know first-hand when one of my great guyfriends wanted to date me and I just felt so...GUILTY. And my closest friend at school right now is dating, and she often talks to me about her problems.

Although sometimes I don't know how she exists. Like one of her problems is that she knows the relationship won't last and that makes her boyfriend depressed. I'm not saying it's bad for her to be realistic, but come on, have some hope, ya know?

-sigh-

I honestly don't have a crush right now, and my family and friends are always there. But sometimes, I want someone to just surprise me. Like, maybe a hug when I don't ask for it? 

I know the Golden Rule, "Do to other what you want done to you," but that honestly hasn't worked for me yet in this area. I hug my friends when they seem to need it. I even sent them flowers last year (although maybe I ruined it by telling some of them? IDK) for Valentine's Day. (well it was kinda a ploy to send a flower to my crush but pshh that's already been explained in "One Month Later in My Dreams") 

They do brighten up my days. Some of them expressed intentions to give their friends Valentine's Day gifts, but they never followed through. I know, they're busy, and we're all broke. But sometimes I wonder if I'll ever see that day where all of them gives a little push to help out their friends when not expected. I know they're capable-that's why I'm friends with them. 

Anyway, I know because I'm writing this post I'm definitely not ready for a boyfriend. I mean, come on, who wants such a needy girl? But I'm honestly only needy when it gets quiet and nothing is really happening. I'm just...lonely. 

-sigh- OTL

Don't write down comments that I'm beautiful. Instead, you are beautiful. I really don't need your pity-I want action.

I know these lonely feelings will never really stop, even if I do get into a relationship. But I'm going to try to cope with it. Maybe I'll call up a friend. I'll tell her how she looked extra special today. Maybe exchange some jokes. Or maybe I'll find her tomorrow morning (if we have school WHEEH SNOW) and hug her, saying that she deserved it.

Maybe every one of us would feel better if we did that. It feels just as good to give as to receive sometimes.

And from a lonely girl,

Thank you.