so okay. i take vietnamese karate "vovinam" right? and every now and then we have a performance somewhere to promote vovinam right? well all of a sudden my grandpa, the master, decides that i should learn one of the forms which is about women self defense. and IT . WELL I . like the form itself is kinda cool, but i make it UNCOOL. like I'M SO AWKWARD AND SLOW AND I JUST STAND THERE AND WAIT TO TAKE THE PUNISHMENT. I CAN'T MAKE IT CONVINCING AT ALL.  and then IT WAS ON TV. and they were all telling me to come back and watch myself and stuff. but I JUST COULDN'T DO IT. I HATE BEING ON TV. and they're all telliing me to come back and watch myself but i just cant do it. and they're telling me to improve all these things thare are so "easy" to fix. like sorry i'm not good at ASSAULTING SOMEONE you know? (did i mention i'm the attacker in the form because i'm a guy). why couldn't we do the other form? actually scratch that. i'd probably mess that one up too.

sigh.

im just not cut out for this sort of thing.

maybe i should quit. i mean vovinams fun but.....i just . plus  since the master's my grandpa, i cant really quit without hurting his feelings. and since im the masters grandson there's like all these expectations for me to be some kind of martial arts prodigy.

sigh.

i dont know what to do.

this is too much drama.

school is drama.

family is drama.

karate is drama.

i dont know.

you probably don't even care right now do you?

sigh.

life .