Rants . I guess .
"No matter how much you love someone,
but once that someone lost the trust, it'll be impossible to get it back,
Unless a miracle happens, which is unlikely"
This is just some sort of a rant I made, because I didn't dare to post it on my facebook and I feel that more people will understand this feeling here than on facebook if they've seen this.
I hate you, I hate you for betraying me like this, no matter how kind or how loving I am, you just can't use it to betray me like this.
I hate you for making me falling for me, I hate you for being so honest, I hate you for breaking my heart, making me different, the most of all, I hate myself for letting you over and over again, going back to you, I hate myself that I don't regret being with you, yet I'm allowing myself to lose my most important emotion, sadness. No matter how much I shout, how much I cry for you, you aren't going to be back.
This is a fact, even though you may or may not be in a bad situation, being sick and stuff, but I still pray for your health, but I'm really tired of it, I knew it would happen when you told me about it the last time, I know since that time I have lost my feelings, even though I want to break it off before you told me that you did it again, but I'm just too weak, I was grabbing tightly onto the hope that you might not have done it again, that you will stay good.
But you end up as the worst one ever in my history. You may be in my history , but I would like to destroy it, as much I would like to remember it. When you told me about it, what I first thought was I knew it, I knew that he had done it again, but I just can't help to grab onto that small little hope, but you got it smashed, you destroyed me, you make me lose my tears, my tears that I finally could get back after 4 years back then.
Now I'm going to be toughen up, just to survive through this, just to not allow you back into my life. It'll surely be easy for you to move on, I will too. But I ain't going to allow anyone into my life easily anymore.
This world is just a fake world, I see too much fake things, I see too much people being fake, I see too much people betraying, cheating on each other, I just see too much of the bad side of the world, that no matter how innocent I am, I just can't go back to the time.
And, now you lost me, the precious part of me, my heart was given to you, but you kept losing your grip over and over again, now I got it back, but in pieces, I got it back in my box, locked deep down in me, hoping it'll just mend back together and back to one piece, but the crack of our love will still be there, it'll still be visible, even though it's healed. I'll still not being able to be like normal, hoping for a fairytale like romance, even though I'm such a hopeless romantic, no matter what I do, I could only imagine it, but I don't think it'll ever really happen to me.
What I want to say to you right now, even though you wouldn't see this, is Ilovedyou, you were once the most important person in my life, but now, you're not. You lost me, you lost my trust, most importantly you lost my heart and you can never get it back now. And now I'll move on, I won't show you how I'll live better, but I'll disappear.
Lastly, I hateyou, bye.
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