the way I can hide my hurt so well even from my family is disgusting... my aunt is the most perceptive person I know... and even now I can fool her; she'll never guess I was crying my eyes out just half an hour ago.

but I can't show it. I just can't deal with anyone knowing/seeing me like this.

I hate myself for being such a cameleon. it kills me and I know it. And I don't know how to be any other way. I don't know how to protect myself in any other form..

I was scared. Now I'm hurt. and the fear... it never really goes away, does it..