Title: (4/5)

I thought the title was eye-catching and suited the theme of your story. However, maybe you could have reworded it to “Crossing Paths With You” or simply “Crossing Paths”. Overall, it wasn’t too bad, so good job.

Description + Foreword: (9/10)

Your description was a little short, but I think you did a relatively good job of introducing the plot of your story. In the foreword you put character descriptions, which I usually don’t like, but I think you used it well. Instead of simply stating the personalities of your characters, you provided background information. It was also a good idea because you have so many characters in your story.

Background + Poster: (10/10)

Your poster goes along with your theme very well. I’m not a graphic designer, but I think that it was done very well considering that it had to incorporate 14 different characters. Also, your background was very subtle and didn’t distract the readers. Good choices!!

Originality: (15/15)

I haven’t read anything like this before, so I’m going to say that it is very original!!

Plot/flow of the story: (15/20)

Well, your story has just started so I can’t really judge this properly. I guess so far the flow is good since you’re just introducing everything at this point. However, I think your plot might be a little over whelming as there are a lot of different storylines going on. Personally, I’d prefer it if a story only focuses on one couple rather than trying to fit in 7 different ones. Also, I think that it might put some people off if they like a few of the couples, but absolutely hate some of the other ones. Maybe you could focus on one couple and make all of the others minor plotlines, or if you prefer, you could make seven different versions of the story told from the perspectives of the individual couple. However, it could be just me who dislikes this type of merged plot, so don’t mind my slight OCD. *Hides in a dark, overly organized corner*

Characterization: (8/10)

As I said before, I think you have too many characters and I don’t like it. It confuses my brain. Also, since I don’t know Apink very well, it was kind of confusing for me trying to pick out who’s who. However, I liked that your characters all have their own unique personalities. Your characters all been just introduced, but the readers can already start to differentiate between them which can be a hard thing with so many. So, pretty good job here. J

Grammar/Spelling: (18/20)

Your spelling and grammar is very good!! Not much to complain about here, but, being the grammar Nazi that I am, I always have to find something to correct xD The only thing that I’d say would be to maybe reword a few of your sentences so that they flow better. Also, you have a habit of overusing commas, which I have to admit, I suffer from as well :3

Oh, and one more thing on chapter one. *weird*

*weird*

*weird*

*WEIRD*

^ This is how you spell it. Sorry, it really bugs me when people spell it “wierd” or “werid” or whatever other way they use to butcher the word. :p

Writing Style: (14/15)

I really liked your writing style! You were good at describing the actions and emotions of your characters.

Overall enjoyment: (19/20)

Other than being confused from all of your characters, I think it is a very good story so far, especially since it’s your first fanfic!! Good job!!

Extras: (5/5)

I love the Myungeun couple!!

Total: (117/130) = 90%