Annyeong everyone! It's a day later, but I'm finally able to write about my experience with Hangeng at London School of Business and Finance's HOPE charity lecture.

The event turned out to mostly be a promotion of the school and Hangeng only spoke for about 30 minutes, but the feeling I got when he first walked on stage was still pretty fantastic. Before he came out, they got us to sing the special song a group of fans had written for him that he in turn sang and dedicated to all of us called The Wings of Love. It was an amazing feeling of unity when we all sang together because even if we weren't sure of the words, we sang for him.

He looked kind of tired, but he still smiled. Unfortunately, there wasn't a translation of his speech so I was only to understand some of the broader points with some details scattered throughout. He began by saying he was really touched to see so many of us there and that although the weather was a little cold, he was also very glad to be in England.

From there, his real speech began. He talked a little about the significance of his name in the beginning (the character of his name being chosen by his grandfather and referring to the evening star) as well as his school days. He laughed a little when he said he was fat then and some of the people towards the front said they didn't believe him. From there he moved on to his time in Korea. All I could understand there was things that we all already know, that all they did during trainee days was practice and practice, day in and day out. When he was able to go out, he was always afraid his phone would ring and it'd be SM telling him to come back and practice more. What little pocket money he was given, he sent home to help his parents. He doesn't regret his time there though, as it helped make him into who he is today and the Super Junior members were always taking care of him and laughing along with him.

Turns out he never really thought about being a dancer or singer; his real dream since childhood was to be an actor and since leaving SM, he's been in several and really enjoyed the experience.

Finally, Hangeng talked about the charity work he's involved in and how we should strive to achieve our dreams. He was so sweet when he was talking about the children he's worked with, saying he has too much money while they have none and he wants to help them by giving them the resources they need to reach their dreams and achieve the same level of happiness as him. While telling us to work hard and do the things that scare us to be successful in our dreams, he also reminded us to maintain our character along the way. By helping others, we'll only make our own successes and dreams greater.

Now for my personal feelings; trust me, the night was full of them. While waiting, I had a mini panic attack while listening to the others around me because some of them had brought presents in case we got to meet Hangeng face to face. I had nothing, but since there wasn't much I could do at that point, I just started practicing what I'd say to him like crazy.

I was also really impressed, touched and inspired by Hangeng himself in addition to his words. He was very polite and professional, but at the same time he would react and interact with people in the audience, teasing and laughing with us. His voice was also just really pleasant to listen to, as was his laugh. And the part with the kids? I nearly died. I mean look at these pictures! Who wouldn't melt?

Throughout too, he was just so adorable and friendly. They had a question section at the end and one of the girls who was Chinese but who'd let her Chinese lapse asked if she could use English to ask her question, he responded with this cute shrug and a 'Of course!' Asldfdkjghji moment.

I really wish I'd gotten to meet him face to face to tell him everything I want to; I was really disappointed about that combined with my overconfidence in my Chinese being completely shot down. However, after listening to him talk, after seeing him, I walked away with a stronger motivation and desire to achieve my dream of becoming fully fluent so hopefully one day, I get another chance to thank him as I wasn't able to that night.

Another interesting thing about that night was me experiencing both the ugly and beautiful sides of Kpop fandom. While we were waiting, I couldn't help listening to the conversation behind me going on between two British girls. These two were discussing the possibility of an SM Town London and what they'd do. They were seriously talking about stalking any of EXO, SHINee, or Super Junior and all the ways they could get their attention. Let's just say some of them would be incredibly disrepsectful and plus, why can't you let them enjoy themselves during the little free time they have without having annoying, fawning fangirls breathing down their necks? Unfortunately it only got worse. When they focused on Super Junior, they talked about which member they'd like to get closest to. One said that she'd be happy for it to be any of them as long as it wasn't Shindong. Her friend countered that she could hang out with him and use him to get to the others. I'm sorry, you can have a bias but as an E.L.F, you love all the members and you are happy and grateful if you get to meet any of these wonderful men. Shindong's so sweet and funny and actually incredibly talented, so why be so mean about him? E.L.Fs like that just make me mad.

Of course, there was an incredibly good moment to balance out this ugliness. As part of the promotion, we were given bags with some odds and ends in them, but one of these was a mini poster of Hangeng. Since I didn't get to meet him, that would be my momento. However, I got too cold waiting for my friend so we could go home, so I started walking. After a few minutes, I realized I'd left the bag. I sprinted back only to find it gone. I wasn't really surprised, but I was disappointed. As I walked back, I saw some girls who'd also been to the talk and had been standing by where I was waiting across the street. Sprinting across the street,I asked them if they'd seen it, but they said their friend had thought it was hers, taken it and already left. Now realy disappointed, I thanked them and started to walk away. Suddenly, one of them caught up with me and gave me hers, saying her sister had two. I couldn't believe how sweet this fan was and had to hug her. Anonymous Gengfan, I really am thankful towards you.

Other than that, I'm not sure what to say. If you have questions, just ask. As my final bit, I'll leave you with the pictures I took and links to the two videos I took.

The first is just a random clip of his speech that I managed to take where he talks a little about the meaning of his name and being at school. Sorry, I don't know enough yet to really translate it.

The second is him singing happy birthday to a fan. We tried to get him to sing more, but he only sang this bit and then two lines of The Wings of Love. I don't blame him though; he did look kind of tired even though he was clearly happy about seeing us.

I felt kind of bad taking so many pictures since he already has so many cameras shoved in his face all the time, but I tried to be discreet, taking pictures when he paused versus when he was talking, and I was probaly more than 20 ft away from him. Anyway, please enjoy.