AFF and LJ (WARNING: CONTAINS FEELZ FEELZ FEELZ) ;

Okay.  So I'm going to break it down for everyone, because I'm still sort of at a loss.  I wasn't going to post on AFF anymore, but when I keep getting nice comments and stuff on my stories, even though I haven't updated them in a while, it makes me wanna change my mind.  I don't have my old livejournal anymore.  I'm under a different username now.  I was going to just post my new stuff there... but now... idk.

For starters I'm feeling a bit off.  1- Because I'm embarrassed by my older stuff here on AFF.  2- Because AFF is becoming for and more superficial.  I mean... what in the hell is up with the competition for the most views?  Or people writing stories just to get views?  Or advertising them to get views?  I personally don't like that idea because writing is supposed to be fun and an extention of yourself... NOT something that you do to please others.  It just pissesd me off and made me want to leave this place.

The reason why I was going to switch to livejournal is because of the mentality of the writers there.  The people in the fanfic writing community there are much more serious about their writing, enter writing contests, and support/encourage each other.  They have discussions, keep in touch on twitter, and will even read your story before you post it to give you their input.  It is so much more helpful.

This isn't to say that I am not grateful to all of you here on AFF.  I'm just having a hard time deciding what I want to do.  On one hand I want to mature as a writer and persue it seriously, but on the other hand I like a lot of you here at AFF.

I'm also a good bit older than you all.  I'm in my twenties, okay.  Sometimes when I tell people that they give me the cold shoulder and it hurts my feelings.  Just because I'm older doesn't mean that I'm any less of an EXO fan.  I love those boys to death.  And you'll figure out a few years down the road just how fast time flies when you get out into the real world, and then you start wondering what happened.  I feel like my time is just wasting away before I've had enough time to do anything meaningful.  ;A;

For a while I've also been feeling the pressure of writing better stuff and the competition is stiff on LJ.  There are sooo many young writers that are way more talented than me.  So sometimes when I put something out there, I feel sort of insignificant or out of place.  If it's not my age that s me out of a circle of people, it's my writing style that does.  I want to write for myself, but at the same time I have the urge to share it with others and hope that it touches them in some way.  So when I feel like something I put my heart into doesn't do that, it is very discouraging.

Anyway.  I just... idk idk idk what to do.  If I do end up staying here on AFF, I'll probably create a new username soon.

Back to Top ↑

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
swabluu #1
That's actually why I hardly do anything on AFF anymore. Not that I did much the first place >.>
Kyungshine #2
I hear you. I'm thrilled when I get thousands of views on my first fic,because it wasnt really something to write for entertainment,but to express my imagination's colors of two boys in love. But some peopke are just all day long: Y I NO GET FEATURED MY STORY IS THE BEST"
adee_k #3
su.ck*.....seriously...no freedom of speech here either *sobs*
adee_k #4
I'd like to make clear...i didnt mean that your work actually DID ____ lol...
adee_k #5
You're right, these kind of feelings really do discourage you a lot. I wasnt so obsessed with views and the number of subscribers on here, that's why i never bugged people to vote for my story or advertise it or anything, but i do pressure them to comment, because i want feedback on the work that i create, because if i don't get any, i don't know how my work is being received, and therefore i can't make any improvement on it.

You're right, that AFF has just turned into one big race to get the most subbies/views/karma, or get featured, and i've noticed some of the most ridiculous stories have more of an enthusiastic response than some stories that are so wonderfully written, and deserve so much more attention. But that proves the point in itself...because those people writing the good stuff - writing for enjoyment, and for themselves - are not worried about advertising their story to every member on AFF and are happy with what they have.

I really do enjoy your story that i'm reading here, although i havent had the chance to read your other ones. Like i said on your last post, there's no reason to be ashamed of your earlier work, because it just shows how much you have improved as a writer, not how much your work back then. It would be great if you carried on, but it's entirely your choice. I agree with you that the atmosphere here on AFF isnt the most nicest one to write in.

And i will be 20 in a little under a month, and i've already joined the ranks of noona-fans, haha. So what if you're older than EXO, that doesn't mean you can't appreciate or like them. You're entitled to like whoever you want. There's no need to feel discouraged by all these youngins running around the place lol. I mean, until i asked you...i wouldnt have figured out your age - which is young enough. I mean i knew you would be a mature age since you're driving and all...but you gets my point lol.

Either way, whichever route you choose to go down, do tell me! Ill be supporting you!
XiaoZhen #6
Well, you write because you love to write. That's the important part. When you love something you will gradually get better and better. No one can be an expert over night, so don't be discourage if you feel that your story might seem insignificant to others. Just keep going.
You're in your 20s? OMG! Finally someone around my age (okay, you're older, but still). This site is mostly Kpop community. I'm from Tw-pop community, and there I'm always the youngest, or among the youngest ones. Here I'm becoming the older one. Everyone is still in their early teens, I feel so old.
I think you probably know how I'm feeling the best.
sj3mmy #7
D;
Do what you wish deary~
I love your work by the way and enjoy reading them so much so if you decide to create a new account notify us so I will be able to continue to read your beautiful work :D
eusiah #8
I understand your feels.
I really understand you.
Omg feels
Back to Top ↑