Fantasizing

By coolgirlaamy

Reviewed by TheUnicorn

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Title: 4/5

It fits the story really well...once you read it. The only problem is, is that when I first looked at it, I thought it was a fanfic about...nasty desires or something like that. Which can give your readers the wrong impression of your story, since your story is soooooo far from it. Maybe you could've used your prompt as a title. It's a beautiful prompt.

Description: 9.9/10

Beautiful, descriptive, elegant and it FITS THE STORY. My goodness, where do you find all these words and how come you haven't run out of them?! They're so beautiful that they make my writer's heart hurt.

I only have one slight problem. And that's the foreword. You mention in the story,

While you were sleeping, He met her, but he didn't know who she was...

etc.

Unfortunately, putting 'While you were sleeping' in there, does not make sense. Also, you do not put a capital on 'He'. 

Plot: 20/30

The plot about people dreaming about their true love in their dreams and not knowing them, is an over used plot. Also, having them meet each other in the end is also cliche as well. The only reason why I gave you a higher mark, was because you wrote it more beautifully and slowly than others, even though it was only 2 chapters.

Flow: 10/10

Speechless. Absolutely speechless. Only 2 chapters, but it felt like a lifetime. It went so smooth and it flowed at a good pace. You didn't make them meet each other so quickly. You put in a bunch of scenes and all before they did. Good job. Can't say anymore.

Characterization: 14/15

At first, Nickhun did sound like one of those deranged, mentally unstable people who believe everything they see. But he has this side to him that I can't explain. Something that makes how he feels about everything so real, even though it isn't and we know it. Nickhun is just like that.

Victoria, however, I found it hard to grasp her personality, mainly because she didn't have many speaking parts. Otherwise, she just seemed like some kind of ordinary girl with a special kind of elegance and feminine charm around her.

Grammar and Spelling: 19.5/20

I had seen a few spelling mistakes. No grammar mistakes. If you did, I must've accidently missed it. However, the spelling mistakes weren't big enough for me to add in. I mean, you know how to spell 'her' and you were obviously writing fast because you spelt it as 'hr' and I understand that.

Just one thing, don't use captials on words after the comma, unless it is a noun.

Writing Style: 9.7/10

No big problems with it. Your writing style is completely fine. Just one thing to mention, try not to use too many elaborate and pretty words. As much as it shows how great of a writer you are, unfortauntely, readers can't read all that because it hurts their brain because of so much detail. Try find a balance between 'detail' and 'simple'.

Total: 87.1/100

Extras: It's official. I give the most weirdest scores ever. Anyways, I think that your writing is absolutely beautiful. Have you ever considered writing an actual book? You should really try. If you did, then I'd TOTALLY buy it. Just saying. 

Hehe, I want to steal your words. 

Congratulations~! Your story will be featured in the 'featured' section in the foreword! Thanks for writing so amazingly~!

Thanks for requesting at {백조} e v a l u a t i o n! Please remember to credit the shop and the reviewer.

-TheUnicorn