I may have mentioned it briefly before in an rp or two, but I'm finally admitting it to myself. I'm bi. No way around this shiz. I used to just think I was socially awkward with certain girls. Totally not the case. Getting nervous and anxious around attractive girls is not some kind of problem I have. I honestly am accepting that I'm attracted to girls as well as guys. I like androgynous guys, but I'm realizing the same thing with my taste in girls (but not always). Why have I refused to admit it until now? Typical reasons I guess. I didn't want to be teased, or made fun of, or talked about. And I have homophobic parents. My dad is an expastor and says people who are homoual are sick minded and messed up. My mom makes fun of them and looks down on them. Why would I want to be what my parents both hate? It's not like I can help it. I don't mean to check out girls or have my heart race with too much skinship with an attractive girl. I feel bad that none of my friends know and I still get changed in front of all them. They wouldn't if they knew (I don't stare or anything cause I'm not a ). I also tried reading some yuri and found it not bad at all. I actually, sad to say, liked it. The heck did this all happen? I was raised on how wrong it is for two people of the same gender to like each other. My whole life I was taught that. And yet here I am admitting my uality. And I'm also sure I'm not just bicurious. I was for a few months, but now I'm sure about it. But this explains why I was always self conscious about coming across as lesbian or bi in certain situations. I tried to avoid seeming that way before I even knew this because I was scared. I didn't want people to think I was. But I am and I'm finally venting all my feelings since I have no close friends anymore and probably won't ever. Ever again. Not with how back stabbing I've learned girls can be. Girls as friends I mean. *le sigh* so much more I could say but i need to sleep... sorry if you actually read all of that