Holy crap

So like, I really need to improve the way I live and stuff ;  ; I'm really starting to get chubby and I haven't been excercising and ugh >< I've been depressed a lot more than normal.

So, I started dieting. It's worked so far. The first few days, I drank a ton of water to flush out my system and omg I felt so great afterwards. I really need to lose the weight, I want to get back down to 125-130 again ;  ; And I'm 145/150ish now >< Not good. Just, 20 pounds and I will be so happy!~

On another note, my best friend signed to a modeling agency. So, she's gonna be doing commercials adn stuff and omg I am so flippin happy for her I can't even explain. She really deserves it, she's worked her off for something like this, I can tell.

And I guess, that really got me thinking, how much she worked her off. She really inspired me in all honesty. I think I realized that I want to do something in music. I really really do >< Just, I've always been scared to. I've been afraid of rejection my whole life.

So, I think I might look into some music colleges, hopefully some that will accept me. I mean, I play 2(almost 3) instruments pretty decent... And I think I can sing?

I kind of want ot make a demo CD to send to YG Entertainment. I'm just, really hesitant in a way because I have no idea what I can sing to really make an impression... I'm the kind of person who likes to go in person because it's easier to control and be yourself I guess. I know YG really looks for the 'it factor.' I just, don't think I have that quite yet. I know I need more practice before I'll be confident enough to even come near the 'it factor.'

Just, I guess I have NO IDEA what I want to do for college at all. Music does sound fun, but I'm kind of interested in becoming a teahcer overseas? >< I am so confused with things omg.

Anyways, I'm sorry if none of that made sense at all. I just, I really needed a place to write out what I was thinking... Yeah!~ Haha~