Calling... GreenALiveTnS
A Repulsive Love
By: GreenALiveTnS
Reviewed by: vnxazn
Title[5/5]:
I love the title. I really do. After looking at it, I thought, "Hm, it says repulsive, but what's repulsive about it? I want to know." That kind of title drew me into curiosity and made me want to know about this "repulsive love."
Design(Posters, Font Color, Font Style, and Backgrounds)[4/5]:
I really do like your poster and background. I noticed something though... are your poster and background of the same thing in different color tones? I don't know about that. It gave me mixed feelings about what to think of it. I felt that the black lettering on the poster was a bit of an overkill. It blends in too much and is hard to read. The characters in the poster look great. I like that they're all looking in different directions as if avoiding eye contact. The font in the poster is really nice, I love the fancy writing.
Description & Foreword [9/10]:
The description was nice. Make it more clear as to why the two didn't see each other for a year. Was it because of studies? Or is the line about studying a different thing? How did Jiyeon first start liking Suzy in that way? I have to say, you used very good grammar on the description, and I appreciate that. I absolutely enjoyed reading the quotes from the idols in the foreword.
Plot and Characters[30/30]:
I enjoyed the fact that after reading the first few sentences, I could easily tell how the characters were going to act. I could tell that Jiyeon was going to be a snappy, sassy girl, and Myungsoo was a total fall out for her. I could also get that kind of yuri feeling you were trying to set Jiyeon up. I could tell how she felt about Suzy. I was totally hooked after the first chapter. Myungsoo and Jiyeon were the most adorkable couple ever. They have the nice black and white, good and bad kind of contrast, and I enjoyed it. I liked the plot very much, too. It was original and caught my interest.
Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation/Word Chose[22/25]:
I have to give you credit. You have very good grammar and that makes it better for me to read with ease. Though I am taking points of for word choice. There were a few areas where I had to read it over and over so that it would float through my mind easier. The words kind of jumbled up in my mouth when I read them out loud.
He kept stealing glances at me that made me upset.
I don't know, just the way it sounds makes me uncomfortable. Try using a comma then "which" instead.
I thought, as I touched it and looked at him.
You don't need a comma when the next word is "as." It should only be used if you said something like, "I thought, touching it and looking at him."
He looked at the other way, getting infuriated with me.
I found that you used "at" a couple of times in places where it wasn't needed. You could just write, "He looked the other way, getting infuriated with me." These are the only things I wanted to emphasize. The rest I kind of just glided over and didn't even mind. This was one of the most well written pieces I've ever read.
Flow[9/10]:
I felt the story started out a little bit too fast. You should've told us a little bit about Suzy and Jiyeong's past. Maybe have Jiyeong reminisce about the old days and how she began to like Suzy. The rest of the story flowed just fine, though.
Overall Enjoyment[15/15]:
I really enjoyed your story. It was very cute, dramatic, and most of all, realistic. I could see a situation like this in real life.
Grade: 94% [A]
R/N: Sorry this took so long to review. I like that you wrote this in April, and it only has ninteen chapters. The last time you updated was like eight days ago. Way to make me anxious and wanting more, hah! Thanks for requesting and remember to credit us!
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