When I say 'him' I do refer to:

Yes in my short break of a lot of scrubbing and cleaning and preparing for my 21st I sat down to think a little about me and my longest bias.

It's been a bumpy journey,  from curiosity to attraction to infatuation to disappointment to obsession to complatency to normalcy yes it's been a roller coaster alright.

So what do I think about him now? Well the romantic attraction seems to have gone. It's better this way though, his ideal woman and my ideal man aren't compatible with each other as well as the fact I grew up. I know I'm still a fan but a lot has changed regarding the way I view him.

Yes I still think he's one of the most handsome, kindest people on earth but I don't want him. I actually don't want to date him. I know that it's better for things to be this way.

Though I have been concerned about my current thinking patterns. Sharing him with other cassiopeias I don't really mind, but there's been one friend which I seem to have trouble with. While I know he isn't mine alone whenever she says something about him I sort of feel like saying:

"Hands off."

It's bizarre. I think to him I feel more like I'm a friend, sister in christ or even feel (if I can say this) a motherly figure. I don't want him to get hurt. I will let him do what he wants but will feel the need to pray if I have to. I don't want him getting fans who only like him for his looks. I don't want him to have fans who only see 'perfectionism' and not the whole deal which includes the not-so-good areas (his smoking, drinking, anything else that could be bad)

It's creepy that I someone who's younger than him could feel like his mother. I know I can't protect him alone so I need cassies to agree with me. To throw away their selfish desire to want to jump in his pants or be in love with him. Throw that aside and protect him with me. Because we need to protect him as he's one of the parts of DBSK, and to his solo fans he's important to them.

There, that's my DBSK wish. To protect all of them starting with him.

Thank you and goodnight.