I found this little, brown, flimsy envelope sitting squarely above my closed laptop when I returned home from work today. It bore the mark of my Polytechnic's logo, so I opened it up and guess what it was.

MY EXAMINATIONS RESULTS PRINTED IN BLACK AND WHITE.

LIKE DAMN, NOW THEY ARE BACK TO REMIND ME OF MY MISERY. Honestly, my results were average. Not as bad as they were when I was in Secondary school, being the last in class or the last second in class (it was always just a battle between me and my other friend for the spot of last, and I'm not even kidding over here) but not good enough to send me to the moon or something.

I got a whole bunch of B+ and one A, and one B. And this wasn't even inclusive of my important modules (i.e, the modules that are actually related to my animation diploma course such as drawing or 3D)

NOW I'M SUPER AFRAID AS TO WHAT I WILL GET NEXT YEAR, APRIL WHEN I END MY FIRST YEAR.

('Cuz I'm pretty sure I screwed everything for my important modules.)

And then, you know what? I got like this SMS telling me to consider undergoing this Diploma+ programme in my school. It's basically a programme offering you to take up an added/second diploma course in addition to your current diploma course.

I WAS LIKE INSTANT CONFUCIUS MODE OR SOMETHING, MY WHITE BEARD OR WHATEVER AND GOING,

"Life is more than just education, bro."

(But wait, Confucius highly regarded education. /shot)

LIKE HELL NO AM I GONNA THROW ALL MY TIME STUDYING SO THAT AT THE END OF THE THREE YEARS IN POLYTECHNIC MY RESULT SLIP COMES OUT ALL NICE AND DOLLED UP WITH RIBBONS AND LOTS OF LACE AND SUGAR.

I know it's a bad trait in me. That I'm always easily contented with what I am. That I don't understand how competitive this society is. That I don't understand how I must really put in a lot of effort to really achieve success.

But still, no. I can't. I really can't. I am the sort of person who needs a little personal time to do something that I like, or else I will shatter. Even if it's 5 minutes. 10 minutes. I need to do something that I like. I don't want to have to go home every day realizing I had to cope with another set of modules and its exams, and at the same time get my parents to fund me for modules AND examinations in which I might not come out getting excellent results. I have burdened my parents enough and that's it.

Hope that my result slip in April will be promising... Even though I kind of already have a pretty bad idea of it. XD