Just a few years ago when I began college I believed I needed to work my a** off. I always balanced work and classes. This went on for a period of time. And soon by the end of the week I was always feeling emotionally drained and exhausted. I broke down a few times from being so tired. Life wasn't the best for me.

However, I still believed that working my a** off would pay off in the end. A year ago I worked 7 days a week. And in between those times I would study and go to class. During the weekdays I would work at school and during the weekend I would work at a fast food restaurant. I didn't feel it was tiring, but I eventually wore myself out. Honesty did not play the best part for me.

And then at the beginning of this year I lost my job b/c of a misunderstanding and some mistakes. Though the things that went missing were found a few days  later I did not feel any better knowing that. That job scarred me and I had a lot of dreams about that job and waking up would make me feel awful. The fall semester starts tomorrow and I need to find a job. I would rather prefer a campus job but the requirements of all the jobs are much of the levels of the real world. You need to be accurate, fast, and smart. But I'm scared I might not do well. This fear of losing my job again creeps up in my body and I just feel like crying caues I can't believe in myself again. 

Work, believe it or not, is a devastation for me. 

I don't think any of the kids on here would understand, but this is what I'm feeling right now.