So I was browsing around the AFF homepage as usual, when this fanfic about vampires caught my eye. Now I really have nothing against vampires besides that Twilight bored me to death with its first chapter and werewolves do more awesome stunts.

Just my opinion. Maybe one day I will find some awesome vampire stories, but honestly I think the vampire craze is over now.

ANYWAY so it's about a girl who's a vampire hunter (Hey Buffy is the girl your Asian cousin?) and there's a vampire who's attracted to her blood. But then what happens is that he bites her and makes her his slave (Um okay maybe not Buffy, because Buffy would have just killed him at first sight, right?)

Okay.

BUT THEN when he has established her as his slave, she's defiant. Like when he asks her to get a glass of water, she kicks him really hard so he ends up facedown and unable to move, and pours the water on his face.

WAIT A MINUTE. This girl is a vampire hunter, so of course she has awesome physical skill or something like that. The kicking part could really happen. But she DOESN'T ESCAPE. Plus she has an attitude that makes her a really bad slave. I have no idea what the vampire was thinking.

Honestly, I don't see what's pulling her back JUST from what the author wrote. From speculation, I can say okay because he bit her, something makes her attached to him and she could only fight it so much. Or that she's scared he'll out all her blood.

But does the author ever state that? NO.

Even worse-the story is in 2nd person! So that means the reader is the character. If I'm the character, I should know how I'm supposed to feel and what the circumstances are in that story!

Not to mention the vampire is "trusting" his slave not to run away. Honestly, when had slave owners trusted their own slaves, especially ones that were just enslaved by them? This is quite ridiculous.

The plot line is original, which is great, but the way the author LACKS in describing the situation is killing me. 

How about a good story that has GREAT chemistry in a slave and master relationship?

I know one: 

Merciless Bad Boy

I feel like this story answers my prayers because the main character is suddenly swept away from her usual life to deal with this guy who has a bad reputation. And she has every right to be scared and be obedient-he's violent, has a short temper, and everyone stays away from him.

Yeah there are parts of the story that aren't really my taste, but THANK YOU for getting the whole slave-owner relationship RIGHT.

I mean, she's a slave because she's scared, she owes something to this guy, and he has a weapon to use if she doesn't comply to his demands. Yeah, she worries about him later, but that's a different story. 

Honestly, I wish I could find at least ONE good story that gets its main concept/plot line right for every several WRONGS I find.