Not Just Another Friend To Me

 

They all said I was crazy, for wanting you. But do they really know, what you are, what you are to me? Tell me can you see. Can see the way I look at you? Or am I simply just another friend, just another friend in your eyes? Nothing but another friend, standing unobserved by your side?

 

I never thought, it would be like this. Never thought you wouldn't notice me. Never thought I'd feel this way. Can't understand, the blindness, the emptiness. I never believed it could happened to me. Why can't Romeo and Juliet end happily? It's the 21st century but it's impossible for me to confess...Can't bear the thought of losing you. Losing you as my best friend...

 

Nothing seems simple anymore. Nothing, seems to get through to you. Don't you see, don't you see, don't you see how much you mean to me? Tell me, do you actually see, ME? Or am I just another, just another lonely heart waiting for a train that'll never come. Am I sitting here, wishing for something that nothing but a hopeless dream? Am I possible of making you, making you fall for me? Or have I just fallen asleep and lost myself in a world of what might never be?

 

Looking back it's clear, it's clear to me. I never knew. I never believed a simple trick of faith could have me wanting what seems so impossible. Moments pass when I think you actually care. Then reality flashes back and you remind me that we are just friends. The things you say make my heart race and then you tear it all away. You rip apart my happiness, though you'll never know it. You'll never know exactly what your presence means to me.

 

Tell me, if I said the words would you understand? Would you believe? The answers just won't come. I'm trapped beneath this heart-wrenching mystery. I think I'm in love, but your simply oblivious. Are all the things you said a code I have to crack? Am I just a friend? Or are you hiding from me? Don't you know, all this playful banter is killing, killing me? Is this real? Is it a game, a game, a game from you to me?

 

There are whisphers in the back of my head. Telling me, to give up and turn away. To move on before you break my heart a little more. But then, it all changes. All because, once in the while, you'll smile and I'll think...maybe...just maybe it's simply a well-intended lie. That just maybe...I'm not just another friend in your eyes. Then reality hits my heart and I know, I know you don't see the truth I'm saying secretly. 

 

Don't you understand, don't you see? You're not just another friend to me. Not just another friend to me. How can it be like this? When all the pieces seem to fit, so, so perfectly. You and Me. It's the sweetest symphany. So why can't you see? You're not just another friend, not just another friend to me.

 

I don't think you know, that you're the only thing on my mind. I don't think you would believe it if I told you I'm sitting here, pining for what might never be. It's seems like it's hopeless. Nothing left to grieve for. I can't say, I hate you for stealing my heart. All I know is you got a hold, got a hold on me. Though you'll never see, you'll never see...just what you've done to me.

 

I wish I could be brave, I wish I could tell you everything burning inside, inside of me. Don't look the other way. I'm so close to telling you everything. That you're what makes my heart beat faster than a speeding train. Like the train that's racing past the platform where I stand waiting.

 

Don't turn away, the words are so close to spilling from my parted lips. Don't you see I need you to know? Don't you know, I need you to know what I feel? Don't you know, to me you're not just another friend. Not just another friend to me?

 

Promise me...Promise me you'll pause before you step outside that door. The door, that stands as a block to my happily ever after. Do you even know where it leads? It's leads away from me...and from the beauty of what we could be.

 

Maybe if I let it all go, maybe if I confessed to the love burning in my soul. Maybe cupid's arrow would fly into the crevice of your mind, where the possibilty of you and me lurks. But what if it all comes crashing down and you turn your back on everything were before I spoke. What if you reject everything great I know we could be? What then? What will I have to look forward to?

 

Do you know? Do you see? Do you feel or is this just another love left unrealized? 

 

It seemed so simple. I never thought I could come this far. Didn't believe this could happen. Not to me...Not to me. Definetely, not to me. 

 

Is it really possible that I could hesistate, when I'm standing right on your doorstep? Is it possible that I could live, knowing you're happily oblivious? Is it truely my reality, to be falling more and more into you when you don't see what I'm trying to say? 

 

Can someone tell me what to do? What move to make, to make you see that you belong with me...It's so hard to make to see...

 

Don't you know...you're not just another friend. Not just another friend to me...


[AUTHOR'S NOTE]

I wrote this for my friend becauase the way she feels is something I know quiet clearly. Though she doesn't know she means enough for me to hurt for her, I decided to write this because I understand completely. 

Being invisible , especially when the one who is oblivious doesn't realize anything is wrong. 

Wanting to be more than friends, but afraid to take that step is hard but you can't hold back at all. Love doesn't come everyday, when it does it's beautiful. Sure it hurts but if the person is worth it...the pain will go away and you'll forgive before it truely registers on your mind. I know, it first hand. But I'll never admit that I hurt because love is worth the struggle. As long as you have some to hold you up when things get rough. 

I guess, what I'm trying to say is that...risks must be taken, if you really want someone. You shouldn't be afraid to fight for what you want. If they are worth it, if they are all you think about, if you can't imagine a day without them, if you break down at the thought of them disappearing...why should you hesistate to take a chance at being more than just another. Because, it won't change at all unless you try.

Well...enough being serious! It's 2:21AM (2AM ahah xDD) and, it's too early/too late (co-ed!) to be dwelling on this. 

[BANG MIREU CHECKING OUT]

 

Comments

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Just_Lan #1
Wow that was really beautiful ^__^
Krifanfics
#2
Good Luck . I'm like in the same situation ryt nao :(
caline
#3
^.^ Good luck!