“She’s engaged?” My twin stared at me incredulously with his large eyes. Youngmin slapped his forehead and sighed, still unbelieving. “Man, you really know how to pick ‘em.”

“Well, I didn’t know she was engaged when we were talking!” I shrugged. “And it’s not like she actually… It’s not like she actually likes me back.”

You know those girls that just makes you want to pause life? That one girls whose smile is enough to make you happy for an entire lifetime. She’s so beautiful that the world could be in black and white and you’d never notice. Well, I found that girl.

And then it starts to sink in, all the possibilities, all the chances, all the consequences. It’s never as bad when you imagine it all because in dreams and fantasies, there’s no bad guy. And even if there is a bad guy, he always dies or forfeits in the end. Now that I’m living whatever I imagined in the back of my mind, I wish it would stop.

I can’t hold her back just because of some hormones.

“Yah, Kwangmin-ah,” Youngmin put his hand on my shoulder. “What’s up with you? I mean, I know you’re quiet, but not this quiet.” He laughed once.

I shrugged again, “I dunno.”

“What do you mean ‘I dunno’?” He cackled. “You know exactly what you’re thinking about; you just can’t say it.”

I sighed. “No. I really don’t know.”

My brother’s smile disappeared. “Well, you better find out soon. There’s only gonna be one girl in this entire world that is worth grabbing the moon for. If this is her, I don’t want you to miss your chance.”

“But,” I looked at him, thinking of what was really going on in my head. “But what if someone already got her the moon?”

SAEJI

“Hey,” Chihoon stepped through the door, kissed me on the cheek, then walked right passed.

“Hi,” I smiled, hiding my disappointment.

Chihoon looked up at me, for the first time away from his phone. “What? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I brushed against his shoulder and to the couch.

“Good because we have that dinner with my boss and his wife, and I’d like to make a good impression—”

“Oppa,” I cut him off.

“Hm?”

I hated that look. It was like he saw the outline of my head and saw his phone screen in its place. What’s the point anymore? This isn’t love. This isn’t happiness. This is… It’s a business contract without a loophole. As Chihoon would want it, it was a business deal.

He used to be my knight in shining armor, and now he’s the guy that buys the armor and sells it to the knight with the highest bid. That’s not how it’s supposed to be. We’re supposed to want to be together all the time. We’re supposed to want to look at each other when we can’t and think about each other whenever we can.

But that’s not how it is. While I think of his face, he’s thinking of the faces and the names of the people in his next meeting. And when I’m alone at night, wanting to be with him, he’s at the office, wanting another cup of coffee so he can stay wide awake to look through papers.

“Oppa, what are we doing?” I asked quietly.

Chihoon shrugged. “Sitting. Standing. Talking. Do I win?” He laughed.

I bit my lip. “What are we doing?” My voice got even lower. “This isn’t an engagement anymore. It’s just show and tell.”

“Wait, what are you talking about?” Oppa shook his head. “You don’t make any sense. Let’s just go get ready for that dinner and be done with it—”

“No, Chihoon.”

He looked at me, startled at my outburst.

“I can’t do this.” I walked passed him and grabbed my coat. 

“Wait—” He grabbed my arm.

I couldn't finish it LOL Idk why.