I have no life, and i also have nothing to read since all my subscriptions don't update every hour. I need new material and it's hard to find quality on this ocean of a site. Please help?

My preferences:

• not really into /yuri
• 's fine, but i've been kind of tired of it lately :/
• latest obsession is EXO, but i'll read anything as long as the story/writing is legit
• none of those stories with young authors who make way too colorful intros with crazy fonts. i mean, if you were confident in your story, you'd let your writing capture the readers' attention on its own, wouldn't you?
• stories with longer chapters tend to hold more significant content
• humor/comedy
• subtlety. if you can pull it off, i'm in.
• favorite tags: school life, slice of life, drama, action
• favorite themes/genres: independence, unpredictable/surprises, friendship, trust, life, choices
• hot guys lol
• smartass characters
• originality

Recommend me a story or an author and I'll research the rest on my own :) Please and thank you~