the conversations I have with 와이프 (part 3).
part 1 - part 2
I love you, 와이프~ ♥
it's been a while since I did this, but here's a long one.
first some "translations" since our language can be kind of... "insider".
~*~
[1:25:14 AM] 와이프: oh my god folding
[1:25:24 AM] me: folding OTL
[1:25:28 AM] 와이프: i don't want to do it. can I just put all the laundry back on the floor?
[1:25:54 AM] me: no.
[1:26:00 AM] 와이프: TT___TT
[1:28:15 AM] 와이프: I won't be a very good housewife yeobo. I'm sorry
[1:28:28 AM] me: it's okay, we'll have keybum.
[1:28:40 AM] 와이프: good
[1:28:50 AM] 와이프: we should steal jello so he can wash our clothes
[1:29:25 AM] me: of course we'll steal him, he'll be lonely when we've stolen away all of his hyungs
[1:30:02 AM] 와이프: he can do chores for us and wear ridiculously baggy clothing with like 9 layers
[1:30:15 AM] me: until he's old enough.
[1:30:22 AM] 와이프: then he becomes the poolboy
[1:30:51 AM] me: no shirt for you, junhong-ah (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
[1:31:13 AM] 와이프: happy 18th birthday! your present is eternal shirtlessness!
[1:31:34 AM] me: it'll be fantastic.
[1:31:37 AM] 와이프: -nods-
[1:31:54 AM] 와이프: we'll have to keep an eye on his old hyung
[1:32:07 AM] me: I think there are several people we need to keep an eye on...
[1:32:19 AM] 와이프: everyone. all of them will want junhongah
[1:33:04 AM] me: there's someone else who likes young, blonde (jello is not blonde anymore, but whatever) boys
[1:33:16 AM] me: http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvxmliWUYs1r4vbojo1_500.jpg
[1:33:18 AM] 와이프: oldoppar?
[1:33:28 AM] 와이프: yes oldoppar~
[1:33:39 AM] 와이프: he'll be a risk too
[1:33:58 AM] me: him and sleazy both
[1:34:03 AM] 와이프: sleazy is the real risk
[1:34:11 AM] me: maybe sleazy has realized that he can't have kimchi so he needs someone else
[1:34:16 AM] me: jello would be a great choice
[1:34:18 AM] 와이프: he'll tell jello that yongguk doesn't love him
[1:34:40 AM] me: "look, junhong... he clearly likes that other pretty hyung"
[1:35:06 AM] 와이프: "You'll have all of my love. I won't around with other men like that bastard"
[1:35:34 AM] me: I just realized that yongguk and sleazy are same-aged
[1:35:41 AM] 와이프: they are
[1:36:15 AM] 와이프: oldoppar and baby have the same as yongguk and jello
[1:36:38 AM] me: they do not, baby is daehyun-aged
[1:36:53 AM] me: oh yes, then they do
[1:37:00 AM] me: yes
[1:37:06 AM] me: my brain + math = chaos
[1:42:07 AM] 와이프: bahahaha
[1:42:19 AM] 와이프: the old men can get together and talk about how they screw teenagers
[1:43:26 AM] me: they can sit by the poolside and watch baby and jello as they clean the pool
[1:43:56 AM] 와이프: -nods-
[1:44:25 AM] 와이프: baby can rub it in jello's face that oldoppar isn't as hard to get as yongguk is
[1:45:06 AM] me: and jello will sulk and that is where sleazy comes in...
[1:45:21 AM] 와이프: he'll be easy to steal away
[1:46:04 AM] me: he'll tell jello how he has no problem with taking off his clothes
[1:46:16 AM] 와이프: and jello likes
[1:47:20 AM] me: and since yonggukkie hyung doesn't want to give in
[1:47:26 AM] me: he has to find somewhere else to get it
[1:48:03 AM] 와이프: then himchan can snatch up yongguk
[1:48:25 AM] me: it's perfect.
[1:48:36 AM] 와이프: himchan set it all up in the beginning -nods-
[1:49:35 AM] me: I bet he could be friends with woosang too.
1) sameage.
2) ridiculously vain fabulous guy.
[1:49:51 AM] 와이프: they're perfect for each other
[1:50:22 AM] 와이프: and youngjae can just try to get daehyun all day every day
[1:50:31 AM] me: sangsoo and hime are buddies. hime wants yongguk. sangsoo wants young . they make a deal.
[1:51:08 AM] me: daejae are bunnies and moontos got stolen away by exo.
[1:51:22 AM] me: I like our mansion.
[1:51:31 AM] 와이프: our mansion is practically a set
[1:51:52 AM] me: of course, that's the point of it.
[1:51:59 AM] 와이프: tao took a liking to moontos so krees walks over one day, picks him up, and then carries him off
[1:52:56 AM] me: they tried to stop him, but duizhang stared at them really hard so they backed off.
[1:53:01 AM] me: kris is scary as .
[1:53:19 AM] 와이프: moontos was just too short to fight
[1:53:30 AM] me: "krees-oppar, I want to play with the cute bunny, bbuing bbuing"
[1:53:36 AM] me: and krees had no way of resisting
[1:53:43 AM] 와이프: and then moontos became a slave bunny
[1:53:56 AM] me: of course.
[1:54:22 AM] 와이프: krees makes sure tao doesn't get too rough with him
[1:55:57 AM] me: he watches over them as they play like a good leader
[1:56:45 AM] 와이프: and b.a.p. carries on as though they never had a short dancer
[1:57:31 AM] me: because kris is scary as and they're kind of busy doing their own thing.
[1:57:42 AM] 와이프: it's for the best that way
[1:58:29 AM] me: it probably is. nothing good can come out of coming between tao and his playtoy.
[1:58:59 AM] 와이프: moontos can earn his freedom later when another cute plaything catches wushu's eyes
[1:59:50 AM] me: maybe he'll figure out that he has a thing for buns...
[2:00:18 AM] 와이프: or krees will become infinitely richer
[2:01:11 AM] me: or that
[2:02:47 AM] 와이프: we need cameras every where
[2:03:33 AM] me: we need to film everything.
[2:04:37 AM] me: there is another blonde baby who should be at our mansion to distract all these old oppars
[2:04:41 AM] me: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3i9h2iL2b1qfddpjo1_400.jpg
[2:04:51 AM] 와이프: which?
[2:05:00 AM] 와이프: baby and jello will hate him
[2:05:21 AM] me: they'll hate him because he's prettier so all the old oppars want to touch
[2:06:01 AM] 와이프: sangsoo, yongguk, and oldoppar will abandon their teenagers for the pretty one
[2:06:35 AM] me: princess can't work at the pool.
[2:06:46 AM] 와이프: they would drown him
[2:06:57 AM] me: he can work with keybum and keybum will teach him how to keep the boys away.
[2:07:03 AM] 와이프: it would be for the best
[2:07:24 AM] me: "see this? this is a spatula. it can come in handy. allow me to demonstrate... jonghyun~~~ come here~~~"
[2:07:43 AM] 와이프: keybum will be the perfect mentor for minki
[2:07:58 AM] me: keybum and kevin
[2:08:27 AM] 와이프: and seungie can teach him how to use 4D powers
[2:08:46 AM] me: he'll need to be taught stuff, he doesn't know how to use it right.
[2:09:07 AM] 와이프: "When your boyfriend is talking about with other people you have to casually start stripping."
[2:09:35 AM] me: "that's how you get his attention"
[2:09:57 AM] 와이프: "Then you hold girls hands to punish him for being a jackass"
[2:10:11 AM] me: oh, princess will be so confused because seungie will tell him to take his clothes off and keybum will tell him to smack all the boys if they get too close.
[2:10:23 AM] me: princess will be the biggest tease ever and he doesn't even realize it.
[2:10:27 AM] 와이프: he'll never know which approach to take
[2:10:49 AM] me: poor princess. I feel bad for him now.
[2:11:08 AM] me: I think he does alright at chasing away the boys right now, though
[2:11:13 AM] me: http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3ib8p5KyI1qelshx.gif
[2:11:15 AM] 와이프: he rages so well
[2:11:36 AM] 와이프: luhan will be in danger too
[2:11:49 AM] me: luhan is too pretty for his own good.
[2:11:57 AM] me: sehun will be super possessive and lock luhan in his room.
[2:11:58 AM] 와이프: the old hyungs will want him because he looks young
[2:12:14 AM] me: that's the thing. he looks young but he isn't so he's even better.
[2:12:20 AM] me: they can't go to jail for touching him.
[2:12:27 AM] 와이프: he's perfect for yongguk
[2:12:44 AM] me: but yongguk has hime
[2:13:12 AM] 와이프: but luhan looks so young and pretty
[2:13:24 AM] 와이프: yongguk's eyes seem to stray regularly
[2:13:29 AM] me: they're even sameaged, it's perfect.
[2:13:38 AM] me: hime and baby lu are like one day apart.
[2:13:46 AM] 와이프: this is true
[2:15:01 AM] me: but baby lu looks 12, so it's great
[2:15:13 AM] 와이프: he has the best of both worlds
[2:15:42 AM] me: exactly.
[2:16:22 AM] 와이프: tao can offer him as payment for moontos
[2:17:19 AM] me: "you give me small dancer, I give you my young-looking ge, bbuing bbuing"
[2:17:54 AM] 와이프: his first step into the trade
[2:18:44 AM] me: then later he will trade moontos for someone who can give him a lot of gucci
[2:19:13 AM] 와이프: poor moontos is just too desirable
[2:19:41 AM] me: it's his own fault. he's all existing and such.
[2:19:45 AM] 와이프: truth
so yes... this is how our brains work. >:3 are you scared yet?
this will go on my "things to do instead of writing baekyeol"-list.
someone shoot me. OTL
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