I get upset….reading fan accounts with the idols that I love. It makes me feel like I don’t exist. I know without them, I’d still exist, but I’d be a ghost in a shell, not knowing what to do or how to live. Yes, it is extreme. But when I read these accounts of girls meeting people like SHINee, I just get this feeling down in the pit of my heart. And it makes me want to cry. Will I ever meet them? Will I ever be able to stick my hand out with a note that holds every little thought in my heart about them and they’d accept it? Would they ever see me as more than one ounce of breath in an atmosphere of fans? Would they?