Something that I hate about myself is that I like guys that I know I can't get. There was one who was younger than me by a few years and I couldn't get him because he didn't like girls yet-_- There was that other boy next door type that I can't get because it's so obvious that he's still in love with his first crush. There's my first love who I can't get because he doesn't like all of me. There was another I couldn't get because I could never talk to him. And now this one: I'll call him Lucky.

I've known Lucky since we were little babies. Our families like to hang out, but we never did - he was really annoying. So annoying that I used to beat him up if he didn't shut up. So yesterday, I see him for the first time in over 5 years... and he looked good. Especially in his jeans and combat boots. He was less of a stick (finally) and a little more muscular (he's decided to join the Army). And he's become a really nice and thoughtful person. This entire weekend was really fun because we got to talk, we hung out, we worked together at his mom's food stand during Lao New Year, and we pretty much took care of each other whenever we needed it. When I think of all the things that we did together, you would think that we were starting to like-like each other. But here's the thing that would stop that: we're cousins. I don't know if it's blood-related, but our grandmas are cousins - which makes us distant cousins. Again - :( Gah - I am so unlucky in love... Lucky is like my ideal guy - he's funny, sweet, he may not be the brightest person but he knows what matters, and he really knows how to treat a person. I will admit that I was starting to like-like him, but I can't anyways. Just because we are cousins... Has anyone ever felt that way before or am I the strange one??