Please listen to: Doue (Piano Cover) - TVXQ @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2FzMky6JYo

I MISS YOU... SO MUCH... THAT IT HURTS...

So I met this cool guy four years ago, way back when we were still in our first year in high school. He was cute, kind, smart, funny, and talented. He was everything I could wish for, but I was just something he could keep of as a friend and nothing more. It was through a piano performance when I first caught a glimpse of him. He looked so peaceful and so serene when he played his hands over the keys of the piano. He looked like an angel that it made my heart skip a beat. However, at first, I have no intentions on getting to know him. He was, after all, one of those popular guys. Yes, I am just a normal girl, that I’d prefer being unnoticed by people. Every other day, I would walk up into his classroom to see how he was doing. I would always catch just a glimpse of him whenever he’s in our school’s cafeteria with his friends. I would always see him smile and I thought of how lucky I am to have met him. During our Christmas party, I knew he had a crush or liking to one of my classmates. She is cute, pretty, smart, and nice. All the boys in our class also had liked this girl. Seeing how he blushed just because of her appearance left my heart in agony. I was nothing to him. He wouldn’t notice me the way I notice him. Three years have passed. Still, I’m here. Waiting for him first to approach me, though I know he wouldn’t. I’m plain, clumsy, and invisible. I was totally not his type. I tried to forget him, but I just can’t. Sometimes, I would force myself to like other guys, but still, they’re all nothing compared to him. Then it was already our Seniors year. It was our last year in high school. My friends told me that if I really like him, then why don’t take a chance? So did I. February 14. I gathered up all my courage. I asked a friend of mine who is also a friend of his to take us a picture. After all, I was going after for just a remembrance, and nothing more. A friend of him, which was my classmate, told me that he blushed a little during our little encounter. At first I act like it was nothing, but I really did hope that it really happened. Here comes our Juniors-Seniors Promenade. I was not really hoping that he would take me on a dance. BUT HE DID. He asked me to be his last dance (most memorable dance for the Seniors). I wasn’t really expecting it because we never really talked to each other.  It was that dance in which we had our first conversation with each other. And to tell you, I was right. He’s cool, funny, smart, and kind. If I could just pause the moment and stay with it forever.

After our mini conversation, I gained a little hope, that maybe he feels a little something for me. I added him on Y!M with the hope that maybe we could be friends, or maybe something more than that. We would always chat with each other whenever we’re online. He gave me this “little hope” that I have a chance. During our Graduation practices, we would talk to each other in school. We would give each other chocolates. And he told me that it was sweet for me to give him a note every time I’d give him a chocolate. Then there it was, our Graduation ceremony, he gave me a letter and a USB. He told me that I should not forget him. It was during that day that I confessed my love for him which I held back after all those years and I just can’t bear keeping it up. He thanked me after that day but he never said that he liked me back. However, after that day, out friendship grew more. He’d always message me. He’d talk to me. He’d text me. One day, one of my closest friends (a boy) had a game with him. He told me that a friend of his about me when he was playing. I gained hope, again. Maybe he would like me too.

As I’ve said earlier, our friendship grew. He’d always sing songs for me, though he won’t tell me that it was for me. He’d sing songs like “Can’t Help Falling in Love” with an accompaniment of guitar. He was clearly everything I had wished for and I wish he feels the same way for me. He’d always tease me that we would be great for each other. He also told me what a great girl I was and someone who could make my heart beat was definitely lucky. If only I could tell him that it was only him who could do that.

Vacation had gone by so fast. We’re now in our first year college years. Being enrolled to our country’s most prestigious school is not that good. You’d have lesser time for internet. No internet means no chat. After a few weeks, I caught him online. He messaged me. He told me that he had just met a great girl. He also asked of my approval if he could ask her out and if I would be okay with it. Of course, I said okay. But deep inside, my heart sunk.

And there he was, so happy with the girl he loves. And how I wish I could be happy too, without him. I don’t know why but it feels like my world crashed down. I can’t do anything good these days. I expected too much and I feel so betrayed. But what right do I have to feel jealous? He didn’t tell me that he liked me too, right? I REALLY LOVE HIM and it feels like this love can’t be stopped. He was my first love...