Epilog

It all started with ‘Hello Baby’, I fell in love and got my heart broken. I met five amazing guys, one a best friend, one a mother, one a father, one the uncle, and then one a lover. But like all good things it came to an end. I ran away, I left them like I did so many things in my life, I left before I could be left. However, thanks to them I can dance again, smile again, and enjoy life again.

 Leaving for France was tough; letting everything go was difficult, but since I’ve enjoyed my life more. Although I do wish things had turned out differently…I wouldn’t have changed a thing, I mean yes, I am disappointed, but I loved and was loved, even if it was brief. At least that’s what I thought.

After coming back to South Korea things only seemed to hit bumps in the road. Like it was all one big mistake in coming back, but everything worked out in the end. I returned back to France to finish the next year, I planned on transferring at the end of the school year to Korea, to be closer with Jonghyun. I thought at least, I thought about so many things back then. Things changed, people change, mind changes.

 

Three Years Ago

 

Kissing my King of Skinship goodbye I hug him tightly. “I don’t want to go.”

“You have to; you have a plan to follow.” He whispers pushing me to board the plane. “I’ll be here waiting for you.”

“Promise?”

“I do.”

 

And with that I boarded the plane, ready to finish my life in France and completely ready to start my life in Korea. Ready to start my life with Jonghyun and the rest of my family that I’ve bonded with over a few months with them. Those SHINee boys are forever part of my life at least I hope, but my life changed.

 

Present

 

Sitting on the plane looking out the window I’m starting to doubt myself, that this is the right thing to do. I mean I haven’t talk to the guys in years. Over the first few months back I found that I wasn’t ready to leave France, I wasn’t ready to go back to Korea to start my life over. I chickened out on going back, and after that I couldn’t face them, I couldn’t tell them. At least not right away, and I can’t chicken out now that the plane is descending to Seoul, South Korea, and waiting for me hopefully is the one person I can explain my actions to and with any luck I can see about getting my life back into order.

 

Stepping out into the crowded sidewalks and then into a waiting car I glance over at the pensive red-headed boy. “You know Key isn’t so forgiving right?” Taemin asks me running a hand through his hair.

“I know.” I whisper. “That’s why I called you.”

“I’m angry too.” He mumbles glaring at me. “Hyung was destroyed!”

Biting my lip I nod my head, letting him get it all out, I know I deserve it. “Taemin I just want to explain.”

“Explain why you never answered?! Explained why you never came back?! Go ahead and explain I’m sure everyone wants to know. Hyung is just now moving on.”

Holding back the urge to cry I look out the window, all the passing streets and people going on with their lives. “Taemin…I made a lot of mistakes, and my biggest ones you listed. I never called back, I never came back and I never explained.”

“That’s the truth.”

“I’m sorry that I ignored you guys. That I never came back and most of all for hurting you all. I got back to France with every intention of coming back, but…”

“BUT?” Taemin yells angrily. “But what?!”

“I got scared. I was afraid of coming back, I was terrified that suddenly you all wouldn’t want me around, and I know that you all definitely don’t want me or need me around.”

“Then why come back?” Taemin whispers staring at me. “Why come back and refuel all the hate?”

“Because I need to thank-you, I need to tell you guys something very important that happened to me.

[UNFINISHED]

I kept some things the same :/