I dreamt of you last December and three times at this point of the year and it really prompted me to look for you again - I dug deep into the RP's story comments on AFF to look, thankfully I remembered that I had this email. It's been so long, too long actually and there's so many things that happened, so many things I wanted to tell you and still do.

But first, I think I owe you a proper introduction. I'm [redacted], a Filipino born in 1999 (turning 25 this [redacted]) and took to roleplaying when I was in my last two years of high school. I'm currently in the Philippines, waiting for my [redacted] degree and graduation in a few months.

Losing communication with you was so rough. I don't know if you remember but you really were my support system. I had a lot of angst and shame about myself that I wasn't dealing with or articulating well with my actual family and I was seeking your presence until you stopped replying. I knew you were moving houses and things got busy for you, and then the pandemic hit. I really lost all hope, but I bounced back at least. I was able to move forward (cliff's notes version): got into ASMR RP (left that community quickly though), got into a long distance relationship, got into playing D&D and other TTRPGs, got cheated on, tried Bumble, failed multiple times, focused on my thesis, defended it and now we're here. 

The dreams I had were about me finding you on social media somehow. First was on KakaoTalk where your last message to me was a day before my birthday in 2019. Second was on Facebook, on the account you made for me, where the GOT7 group chat was alive again and congratulating me for graduating - which is weird since I have JB, Jackson, and Yugyeom's RPers know my personal account. The third was on Instagram, with a page that recently featured a wedding - I could barely see any of the faces but something in me knew it wasn't you getting married but you were one of the guests, maybe it's Yezi's wedding? Again, I couldn't tell. The last one, the most recent, was that I found a Twitter account handle and that was it. Each time I woke up from those dreams I checked those pages immediately and none of them worked. I got my cards read from a friend because I was so confused and they told me that I shouldn't be reaching out unless I'm confident with the outcome. I'm clueless as to what will happen after I press send, I just know that I need to let you know how much you meant to me and that I want to hear from you again. 

I don't know if it's worth writing to you here but I had to try. You saved a part of me that is ever-growing. Thank you for talking me off the ledge, without those conversations I wouldn't be aspiring to make films about the loved ones I've lost.

Talk soon,

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Specific personal information has been redacted. The email address where I had a conversation with this person had expired, I thought I should just post it in case a miracle happens and they see this. 

If you're out there, let this be proof that you're still my favorite person.