Okay, so new blog time. We really need to talk about what I feel is a strange phenomenon in the AMXF community. For anyone who doesn’t know what this community is, A.M.X.F stands for Asian Man X Female. So it’s a relationship where the pairing is between men specifically of Asian background and women of any background. It can be A.M.B.W. (Asian man - black woman), A.M.W.F (Asian man - white female), so on and so forth.

Remember the weird fad of guys wanting anime girls? Well now its women wanting K-pop boyfriends. Most of this blog is going to be on the women’s side of things of A.M.X.F., not just because I am a woman, but because I feel I rarely see what I’m going to talk about here with men. Also, it’ll become clear that I’ve addressed a number of these points in a previous blog, but they truly need repeating.

So with AMXF being so popular that it has a whole community name, it’s obvious that many ladies have the hots for Asian men. Understandable, Asian men are pretty hot. That’s fine and all, and that’s no issue. The big issue I want to talk about this rising, and very strange, fixation with women trying to date not just an Asian man, but the most foreign, exotic Asian man they can get their hands on. I blame this on multiple factors that I want to go through here.

Number 1: The obsession with standing out. As time has gone on, especially with the rise of social media, people have become OBESSED with the idea of standing out from the crowd and being unique. The whole “not like other girls” trend on Tumblr emphasizes that well. People need to be different these days. No one wants to do what other people naturally do because that’s “boring”. It reminds me of the hippie movement where everyone wanted to rebel just for the sake of it. Everyone wants to be a special snowflake now and more than anything they want the entire world to know it. Well, most couples are between people of the same race from the same country. In order to stand out, you’d need to swap at least one of those factors, and that is exactly what many people are trying to do. But they’re doing it for clout, not love.

Number 2: The rise of Asian Media. Whether it was the Hallyu Wave boom or the constant growing popularity of Anime and other Japanese media since the 90s, Asian Media has become trendier in recent years. And you guessed it; this is most prevalent on social media. Everywhere you look you see memes of Asian people you’ve never heard of but can assume are K-pop idols or k-actors on Twitter. Anime fanart floods many Instagrams. Korean, Japanese, and Chinese dramas are all the rage. With Asian media being shoved into everyone’s faces, it’s only natural that soon people would start fantasizing relationships with these people. Like I mentioned earlier, we all remember when middle school and high school boys had their goofy anime girls phase. But now it’s grown women who want real human being K-pop boyfriends. There are SO MANY women nowadays who are expressing an outward attraction (or ) toward Asian men, and their explanation for it is nearly ALWAYS either related to the K-pop boom or a childhood love of anime.

Number 3: Fake Wokeism. I can’t speak on other countries but here in the U.S.A. there is a HUGE push for people to be ‘woke’ aka ‘not racist’. Now unless you’ve been living under a rock, in 2022 anything and everything is racist in the U.S. Simply being white is racist. Not wanting to date a black person is racist. Breathing is racist. And because the media is shoving it in our faces every day that everything is racist, people (especially Caucasian people) want to do everything to prove to the world that they aren’t racist but are in fact WOKE. And what better way to prove that than by dating a person outside their race. And to step it up a level, people think they best way to look super woke is to look for a foreigner…

Number 4: International Dating becoming a trend. I blame the very popular TLC series 90 Day Fiancé for this one. This series began in 2014 and has only grown in popularity since then. It went from just the original show to having nearly 10 spinoffs. There are so many spinoffs to the point that the show is running constantly. There is never a time where at least one season of a 90 Day Fiancé series isn’t running. And once one ends, another starts right up again. 90 Fiancé is a series that follows U.S.A citizens as they embark on new relationships with foreigners. Their goal is to bring their foreign lover over to the states and marry them within 90 days lest they be deported. The ‘entertainment’ is in the fact that many of these people have never spent much time, if any, in person with their lover, so they spend almost 90% of the 90 days just getting to know each other. The audience also gets to laugh at how the differences in customs and the foreigner’s reactions to adapting to a new country lead to crazy antics and arguments between the couple. The show is very messy and ridiculous, and it’s clear that many of the newer cast members aren’t in this for love, but instead their 5 minutes of fame. Still, I believe that this program’s massive popularity has really encouraged people to turn to dating if only just because it seems like it’s what the ‘cool’ kids are doing these days. And it’s weird because if anything, with how insane the show can get, you’d think it would discourage dating someone from another country. This show doesn’t fluff anything up. They show the difficulties of dating someone from a completely different culture. And yet, that hasn’t stopped dating from becoming a growing trend which many people want to jump on.

So to recap, not like other girls syndrome + Asian media rise + fake wokeism + dating fad led to this desire for many non-Asian people to want to date Asians. But like I said, I feel like this is way more prevalent on the woman’s side. Seriously, do you ever see guys who ize Asian girls who go out of their way to get a girl who barely speaks their language? Even the nasty creeps who go to impoverished Asian countries to bring home a foreign housewife slave STILL would prefer the chick to have a decent understanding of the language they speak. In fact, they usually will look for the woman with the best understanding of their language as possible. Why? Because it makes things simpler! It’s way easier to have a relationship (even a scummy relationship) with someone if you speak their language and can understand each other. These women are the complete opposite. They want to go out of their way to date someone they can’t understand!

Like I said, these chicks want to stand out and be different. (Honestly, I think in general women are more likely to seek attention and approval from other women and have this desire to be super quirky) “Who wants to date a boring man from my country like everyone else? No! I want to date a man born on the other side of the planet, with completely different values and way of life than me, and barely speaks my language!” I’m not kidding when I say that a LOT of these Asianboo (gonna say this instead of limiting it to just Weaboos and Koreaboos) izers seek out men who are as culturally different as them as humanly possible. They need to have grown up celebrating completely different holidays, (ideally they have never even heard of the holidays from the woman’s country); they need to have different customs and belief systems. And of course, they CANNOT speak the same language or even a remotely similar language.

So instead of doing what most normal people would do when looking for a date, go out into town or use a local dating app and find someone, these chicks will download Asian apps for the sole purpose of finding single men native to other countries to beg them to move over to their country to be their quirky Asian bae. OR they’ll be the ones to move over to the guys country to THEY can be the quirky foreign girlfriend. Hey, these chicks just want something to stand out. Whether they are the quirky one in an unfamiliar situation or their boyfriend is doesn’t really matter. But we’ll go more into this later.

Many of these women will “show off” their exotic foreign boyfriends on social media. You’ll see Youtube videos with titles like “doing x with my Korean boyfriend” or “my Chinese boyfriend picks my outfit”. Basically, they need to specify the fact that their boyfriend is Asian in the title, as if that’s literally the most important thing to them. Well, it is! Making videos focusing on the sole fact that their partner is Asian is their favorite thing to do. “My Asian boyfriend this”, “My Asian Husband that”; this is the entirety of their content. In particular they like doing videos where they give their boyfriends K-pop makeovers, because of course they wish their boyfriend was an actual idol, so why not make him look like one. But they also like to do videos about their boyfriend’s quirky culture. “What it’s like dating a Korean Guy”. Yep, I’ve seen videos with similar titles. Hell, just go to youtube and search something like ‘Korean boyfriend” or “Chinese boyfriend”, check out a few channels and just see what other types of videos they make.

And Youtube isn’t the only place where you see this. Go look at many of the AMXF posts on Instagram, tiktok or tumblr, where people will talk all day about the ‘interesting’ foods they get to eat through dating a Chinese guy (because of course you can only eat foods from different cultures if you’re dating a person from that culture). Or all of the ‘wacky’ holidays they get to celebrate because their man is Japanese. It’s just weird.

Another semi-popular type of video they like to make is “what it’s like to date a Chinese/Korean/whatever/ guy”. As if there’s something particularly unique about those groups that they need specific videos talking about what it’s like to date them. What’s weird is that in MANY of these videos, the girls will specifically note that their ‘points’ are not meant to be representative of the entire community, but are mainly just how their man acts. So why not just make a video called “what I like about my boyfriend”? Because bragging rights. They need to brag about the fact that they have a hot Asian bae.

The crazy thing is that, most of these chicks are living in western countries dating western Asian men. If you’re in the U.S. the vast majority of Asian men you’re going to find were born and raised here and are Asian Americans. And let’s be real, the chances of these people even starting a relationship with an actual Asian guy born and raised in Asia is pretty low. Statistically speaking, most Asia-born Asian people would prefer to date and marry other Asia-born Asian people. So Asianboos are basically stuck with Asian Americans.

Unfortunately, they aren’t ‘quirky’ enough for Asianboos. These people want the most foreign man they can get, so if they do find a guy from their country, usually they try to do all they can to pretend are a legit Asian born Asian man. Like I said, they’ll give them K-pop makeovers or style them up like Korean men in some way. Sometimes they speak an Asian language to them every so often, even if the other person speaks English fluently. Or they’ll straight up try to portray the guy as if he’s a native of Asia when he isn’t. I’ve seen a Youtube couple who describes themselves as a “German-Korean couple”. I won’t mention the channel name but you can easily find them. They always call themselves a Korean-German couple which I do not understand. Why? Because the ‘Korean man’ in the couple, as far as I’m aware, was born in Germany, was raised in Germany, has a German accent, speaks German the majority of the time (not in their videos, I mean in his personal life), and is by all accounts a German man. But his ethnicity and his parent’s country of origin is Korean so in order to seem more unique and get clicks, they call themselves a German-Korean couple. They even put the Korean flag in the thumbnail to represent the guy even though he is basically German. Actually, many of these channels will use Asian flags to represent the Asian men in these relationships, even if they weren’t born there!

This to me is crazy. Like, seriously? The man is culturally no different from any other German guy, but they act like the dude lived in Korea his whole life and only moved to Germany as an adult and now the girl has a foreign boyfriend. I couldn’t imagine dating a straight up Chinese American who grew up celebrating Thanksgiving and the 4^th of July and going around posting that we’re a Chinese-American couple. Sadly, this is not unique to this couple. There are so many people in these types of relationships who do the most to distance the Asian man from the country he’s living in, no matter how long he’s lived there. They only do it for the clicks, but the sad thing is that it actually works. If being an couple gets you a lot a views, then being in an international couple will get you ten times more. Many people believe it is more ‘interesting’ to watch the ‘quirky international couple’ over the alternative. (Take a shot every time I say quirky in this blog btw).

Even if you are in an relationship, people still seem to not take as much interest if you’re both the same nationality. I’ve seen a few Youtube channels featuring AMWF couples living in the states. For one in particular, the dude is straight up Asian American. He was born and raised here, celebrates all of our holidays, is raising his children as typical American children, has no accent, etc. He’s not a foreigner. This is made very clear in their videos and yet you’ll still get people in their comments sections asking if they celebrate Chinese New Year or speak Mandarin to their kids. (I don’t think the guy even speaks Mandarin.) And when they are told ‘no’ because homie is literally American, the responses are so bizarre. It’s like they try to encourage them to eat more Chinese meals or speak Mandarin in the videos, or other things that they don’t naturally do. It straight up sounds like these viewers can’t enjoy watching them if they aren’t doing something ‘foreign’. And again it feels really “y”.

So because this seems to be what most viewers want to see, influencer wannabe Asianboos have decided that if they want an Asian bae, they MUST get the most authentic, exotic, foreign dude they can find. And unfortunately, this seems to fall more on the Caucasian sisters. I mentioned that I think a huge reason for this ‘gotta get a foreign boyfriend’ syndrome is byproduct of this insane ‘everything and everyone is racist’ culture we’re living in (in the U.S.). White people take the huge brunt of these attacks, so I think they have a greater desire to prove that they are open minded and not bigots. People of color aren’t being accused of being racist every day, so those Asianboos are more likely to be fine ‘settling’ for a western born Asian because they don’t need to prove as much. Honestly, I think in the case of people of color, particularly African Americans, it’s more about the validation. And this is an issue based on other problems in the African American community, but that’s for another blog.

Still, I’d personally say that many young people are just trying to enter these relationships to be trendy. I mean, look at couple channels these days. How many revolve almost entirely on that fact that the couple is or international? The fact that #couple and #internationalcouple are legit dating channel categories is absolutely insane. But with it only becoming more popular, it’s no surprise that more women are jumping on the hype train. They want to get on it while it’s hot, hence why there’s this huge number of Asianboos leaping onto international dating websites to get their k-pop boyfriend.

And by the way, can we just imagine what these dating profiles could look like…

“Hi, I’m a 20 something year old Korean history major and I am NOT like other girls. I adore ASIAN CULTURE and I’m looking a guy that wants to my foreign quirky Instagram boyfriend. I’m not looking for much, I only have a few points on my must haves list.

-Must have been born in Asia, preferably born there or has lived there the majority of your life. (So I can make videos about how culturally different we are!)

-Must only eat Asian food (So I can post about the amazing yummy Asian food we eat on Instagram)

-Must know nothing about my country (so I can make video after video ‘teaching’ you things about my country)

-Must be a literal K-drama lead and be the most perfect boyfriend ever who spoils me with gifts and affection 24/7 (so all of my fellow Asianboo followers will be jealous of me)

-Must look close enough to Jungkook so I can give you decent enough K-Pop makeovers every day and also make my fans hella jealous.

-Must either be willing to move to my country or must be fine with me being a stay at home influencer vlogging about my quirky life as an Asianboo in Asia if I move to your country.

-And most importantly, can NOT speak my language (Because if you barely speak my language, we can make cool videos about how we struggle to simply communicate!).

And ya’ll the language one is the one that really gets me. You don’t know how many posts I’ve seen from Asianboo weirdos who are looking for a boyfriend and actively do not want him to speak their language even a tiny bit. I’ve literally seen posts of people writing their ‘ideal type’ and one of their big points is that they want their man to have ‘me no speaku your languagu’ levels of speech. They seriously think that’s hot, to not understand your boyfriend. How insane is that? Have we forgotten just how important communication is in a relationship? How are we in a world where people are getting divorced for all sorts of ‘irreconcilable differences’ and we’ve got young women going out of their way to date a man they need Google translate to understand? There are people on that train wreck show 90 Day Fiancé who legit need to have their phones on them 24/7, not for emergency calls, but so they can have their translator app available at all times because they can’t speak to their partner without it.

Let me repeat that. These people cannot have a simple conversation with their partner without a machine. News flash, if you need a machine to talk to your man, I seriously wonder how you’ll be able to even plan a wedding, let alone form a functioning relationship.

And before anyone freaks out, NO I am not saying you can’t date or marry someone unless they are 10000% fluent in your language. If I met a guy who I loved, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and I knew for a fact that I wanted to spend THE REST OF MY LIFE with this guy and he felt the same way, and he wasn’t perfectly fluent in English, I wouldn’t just reject him. I wouldn’t say, ‘Oh your first language wasn’t English and you’re not fluent so nah”. That is ridiculous. HOWEVER, I would never actively seek to date a man I struggled to speak to. Something would need to change. Because I do not want to have to rely on a machine to casually talk to my husband. I don’t want to struggle to speak to or do things with my husband. We’d need to have ONE LANGUAGE we could both speak fluently. Whether it was the language of the country we were in or the other person’s native country doesn’t matter. If you are British and live in the U.K. and your man is Japanese and speaks primarily Japanese and you two have decided that Japanese will be the language you both want to speak to each other, go right ahead.

But the fact that there are young ladies out here who think it is perfectly normal to have a relationship where the couple can’t understand each other at least 95% of the time is nuts. These girls are reading K-pop fanfictions where the power of love prevails and it doesn’t matter if the people legit can’t speak a proper sentence to each other; everything works out and they get married and have 14 kids and move to Korea and live happily ever after.

I need people to wake up. This is not funny or cute. It’s honestly a huge set up for failure. Also, just imagine walking down the aisle with a person and barely being able to say your vows to each other because you aren’t fluent in the same language. All because you just have to be that quirky girl of the friend group with the foreign husband.

Oh, and as I mentioned earlier, the women can be the foreigner in the relationship as well. If they meet Asian Bae and he ships her over to Korea/Japan/wherever to be his quirky foreign wife, so be it. This way they can make videos like

“Day in the life of a white/black/whatever woman in ‘insert country here” or

“Spending the day with my ‘insert nationality here’ in laws” (probably with a subtitle like ‘they hate me’ in the thumbnail) or

“Visiting an authentic ‘whatever nation’ restaurant with my Korean/Chinese/etc boyfriend IN ‘nation’!” If they have children, you’ll probably see

“MIXED CHILDREN going to school in ‘whatever country”

Basically the entire social media will be about the woman’s life being in this foreign country to an audience likely made of woman from whatever her country of origin is. Now, thankfully the majority of ladies who go this route at least usually learn the native language of whatever country she chooses to live in. But there are a few I’ve seen where this has not been the case, and I have a pretty huge example. I know this blog has been long already, but I really want to finish off this blog showing a real example of what can happen to obsessive Asianboos whose entire personality is thirsting over getting an Asian boyfriend. 9 times out of 10 they end poorly. Most of the time we’ll never see this, because most people are smart enough to not make their love life public. But like I said, we are living in the age or wanting attention so we do have some examples and this is the big one I want to talk about. So part one of the case study I have today is the story of Deavan Clegg and Jihoon Lee of 90 Fiancé: The Other Way.

Deavan Clegg from Utah, U.S.A. first joined 90 Fiance when she was 21 years old. Her story was that she was always interested in Asian culture, had dated many Asian men in the past, and that a lot of them were Korean (she’s a Koreaboo). One day after a bad breakup she decided she was done with American men, downloaded a foreign dating app and befriended a guy. This man was a Korean man named Jihoon who was 28 years old. The two talked for a while, eventually met up in Korea, slept together, and then said goodbye. Only there was one issue; right before Jihoon was set to head back to Korea, Deavan told Jihoon that she felt kind of sick. He joked that she might be pregnant…and she was. She took about 6 pregnancy tests and all were positive.

So…Jihoon flew back to Korea and texted Deavan back that they now had to get married. This is typical of Korean culture. Having a child out of wedlock is really looked down upon, so Jihoon felt that he and Deavan HAD to get married and Deavan HAD to move to Korea with her daughter from another relationship so they could be a little happy family. And Deavan agreed.

She packed her bags, moved to Korea with her daughter, and started to plan their future together with Jihoon. And it was a hot mess!

First of all, Jihoon and Deavan could barely talk to each other. Jihoon spoke broken English at best and Deavan spoke NO Korean. They tried to speak in English most of the time, but since Jihoon’s English understanding just wasn’t the best, they decided to rely on a translator. Even though the plan was for Deavan to move to and live in South Korea for the REST OF HER LIFE, she seemed to not think it necessary to learn Korean. So they used this little white translator machine to talk to each other. Actually, both of the entire families needed to use this machine in order to simply have a basic conversation. As an audience watching this, of course we’re laughing at how crazy it was. But then you actually sit and realize that this was real. Fluffed up for TV sure, but these were real people in a real relationship with real children involved. And they could not talk to each other without a translator unless it was the most basic of conversations. They had to pass the translator from Deavan to Jihoon to Jihoon’s mom to Deavan’s mon to Jihoon’s dad back to Deavan and rinse and repeat anytime they needed to talk.

In one episode, Deavan and Mama Jihoon were making food for an event, and guess what they were relying on for the whole time. The translator. And by the way, this translator app was straight garbage. Just like Google Translate, it wasn’t perfect. It couldn’t account for slang or synonyms at all. For example, in another instance where Deavan and Jihoon’s mom went on an outing, Deavan told her that the place was cool, as in interesting. But the translator translated cool as ‘cold’ and the mom was confused. It was just bizarre to watch. But getting back to the dinner prep, Deavan had no clue what she was doing, why she was doing it, and she couldn’t even ask her future mother in law anything. And Mama Jihoon even said that she was kind of stressed and that things would have been so much easier had Jihoon married a Korean woman who knew their language and knew their culture/customs. So every single time we saw these people, they always seemed stressed, they were always arguing, and no one ever looked happy. Even on what were supposed to be dates between Deavan and Jihoon, everything always turned awkward because they needed to speak through the stupid app and struggled to properly convey their thoughts. Granted, I think there wouldn’t have been nearly as much of an issue had Deavan simply LEARNED KOREAN. But she didn’t want to do that.

Allegedly (apparently this information came from Jihoon who has been known to lie before so who knows if it’s true), Deavan’s plan for her life in Korea was…to become an influencer. I’m not even joking. I’ve been making jokes this whole blog, but this woman (allegedly) actually wanted to make a living creating ‘Day in the life of an American mom in Korea’ videos. She actually had made a few of those types of example videos I made a few paragraphs up. This is supposedly how she planned to make a living. While Jihoon would be working, Deavan would try to build an online following and eventually get influencer status so presumably Jihoon could quit his job and they could just vlog forever. In fact, as of the writing of this blog, Deavan still has 2 vlogs from when she was still with Jihoon on her Youtbe channel. Both include ‘day in the life in South Korea’ in the title. So it seems very clear that this was her plan for her life over there.

There were just a few problems. One, Deavan couldn’t do anything on her own. Hello! She couldn’t speak Korean! In most of her vlogs she either sat in their apartment, only interacted with Jihoon’s family, or only went places where she didn’t have to talk to anyone else (like a playground). She couldn’t go out and order food by herself (we saw that in an episode), or do really anything. Obviously, with this her vlogs were VERY limited. I mean, she couldn’t do anything! Unless she decided to actually learn Korean, she wouldn’t be able to do much. I’m really curious how she planned on getting her daughter into school over there with her knowing 0 Korean and Deavan and Jihoon doing nothing to teach her. The other issue was that apparently Jihoon didn’t want to be an influencer. Despite agreeing to be on 90 Day Fiancé, he wanted to live a quiet and private life after marriage. Combine all of these issues, along with many others, and eventually Deavan and Jihoon filed for divorce after barely a year of marriage.

Deavan quickly moved onto another man…and yes HE WAS ALSO ASIAN. But this guy was a Korean American. A fashion editor (or accountant? Tbh I’m not too sure his job, I’ve seen different things everywhere) named Christopher (Topher) Park. He spoke English, lived in the states his whole life (I’m pretty sure), and could relate to Deavan FAR better than Jihoon ever could. Now most fans don’t like Topher because there are rumors that Deavan was seeing him before she’d separated from Jihoon. So there may have been infidelity on Deavan’s part; you are free to have your own opinion on that possibility, but it doesn’t relate much to the overall point I’m trying to make here, so I won’t dwell on it.

People can say what they want about Deavan and Topher, but they had a bit of chemistry. Their interactions were normal. They never looked they were stressed out every moment of the day. They could go on normal familiy outings together and not struggle to talk to each other or the kids. And on that note, most importantly, they didn’t need a machine to communicate! When Deavan was with Jihoon they had to always remember to take the translator wherever they went. Can you imagine that? Needing to have a special device with you everywhere you go just to talk to your husband. There is no need to worry about that now with Deavan dating Topher, and honestly the whole thing to me just makes me wonder why on earth Deavan didn’t just seek out an Asian American instead of pursuing Jihoon. Sure, I can get that she really liked him and thought they could be a happy family together, but the lack of communication should have been a huge reason not go forward with the marriage. I feel like the only reason she went ahead with it was because she desperately wanted to be a quirky foreign vlogger living in Korea. Unfortunately, the fallout ended with more bad than good. The only good thing that Deavan got from that relationship was her son Taeyang. She is far more compatible with Topher as of right now.

By the way, earlier this year, Deavan’s son Taeyang was diagnosed with a childhood cancer. He is still going through treatments. I’m asking if you’ll say a prayer for him or just keep him in your thoughts.

But the sad facts are that Deavan isn’t the only one who has had a bad relationship as a result of doing the most to date a foreigner despite all the difficulties. Heck, there are a LOT of AMXF relationships on Youtube and other social media that end up in bad break-ups or divorce. And it doesn’t surprise me that most of these failed relationships are of the international variety. It seems when the two individuals in question grow up in the same country and/or are of the same nationality, the relationship tends to fare better. Obviously that isn’t always the case, but it seems notably common.

Here’s an example to emphasize that. This is part two of my case study; I’ll briefly highlight couple of AMWF couples which are like the polar opposite of Deavan and Jihoon’s situation. The first couple has a Youtube channel where the woman was born in U.S.A., but raised across Japan and Korea. Her husband was born and raised in Korea. Since the woman was raised across two Asian countries (including her husband’s home country) for most of her life, she was very familiar with the culture, speaks all 3 main languages fluently, and can understand and relate to the cultural traditions her husband grew up with. They currently seem to have a stable and healthy relationship and have 3 children. They actually look like a normal couple, who can have normal conversations in multiple different languages fluently, and they are even teaching their children all of the languages so they’ll know them if they ever travel. Very much unlike Deavan and Jihoon who couldn’t even speak one language together.

Channel two is the one I mentioned earlier; the AMWF channel with the Asian American guy and American woman. These two are pretty similar to the above couple, only instead of uniting in the Asian country, they are western. Again, both grew up in the same country (U.S.), with the same culture, speak the same language fluently, have the same customs and the two seem to be in a healthy and stable relationship and have 2 children. Hubby doesn’t appear too often in the channel videos, but when he does, he and his wife seem to be legitimately compatible, unlike Deavan and Jihoon. Their conversations are natural and they just seem like a normal, healthy couple, and I can’t emphasize enough how I think it would have been so much more beneficial for Deavan to just look to date an Asian American man.

The last example is actually a celebrity couple in Korea. I’ve mentioned the television show, The Return of Superman a few times in past blogs, and one of the current longest running families is an AMWF couple consisting of Korean soccer player husband (Park Jooho) and a Swiss wife. The wife grew up in Switzerland, however she learned Korean and later moved to Korea to live with her husband and the two now have 3 children. This example is interesting to me, because this could have been Deavan as their situations were similar. Jooho’s wife, Anna, didn’t grow up in Korea. She lived in an entirely different culture from her husband their entire life, and yet she still decided to learn and become fluent in Korean once she decided that she wanted to marry this man. She learned his culture and customs and they are actively working to teach their children all of their family’s languages. If Deavan was dead set on getting with Jihoon, I wish she would have followed this approach. Learn Korean, teach her daughter Korean, learn Korean culture BEFORE sleeping with the man and jumping on a plane to Korea. She should have prepared herself for actual Korean life, not trendy day in the life Youtube videos.

By the way, I found out that Anna was just recently diagnosed with cancer as I was writing this blog. I’m asking if you’ll say a prayer for her as well, or just keep her in your thoughts.

And before anyone freaks out, I think we all know that relationships between people from the same country are not guaranteed to be perfect. That’s not what I’m implying. I’m just discussing how when people go out of their way to date someone with a completely opposite culture just for social media brownie points, it rarely ends well. That is want I want to prevent though this blog post. I want to give a wakeup call to anyone who thinks it is feasible or sensible to try to build a relationship with someone who they aren’t compatible with, due to culture, language, or any other factor. I want to tell anyone who is trying to hop on the foreign K-pop boyfriend fad to please think about the future ramifications of being in a relationship you aren’t prepared for. Don’t date someone just for a trend or popularity.

I know this has been a long blog, so I’ll end it here, but if I think of anything else I want to say, I’ll just make a part two.