A LOOK INTO 김아야'S MOMENTS. (open to collabs)
TW: VERY BRIEFLY AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD, RELIGIOUS MANIPULATION, NON-TRADITIONAL SELF-HARM (CONTEXT: BURNING HOT SHOWERS, SCRUBBING AT SKIN FOR HOURS), DIVORCE, SLIGHT VOMIT MENTION (CONTEXT: EATING SOMETHING THAT MADE HER FEEL SICK.)
psalm 28:7
barretto
barretto
barretto
malaya
malaya
malaya
john 6:35
i've lost my faith in man
just as i lost my faith in you
and i've covered so much ground, thinking hard about what else i could lose
THERE IS SOMETHING MISSING
WITHIN ME, THAT I DO NOT
KNOW HOW TO GET BACK.
FULL NAME malaya barretto.
OTHERWISE kim aya.
NICKNAME(S)
"mal, it's time to wake up. what would the Lord say about you sleeping in?" "He'd be on my side" an affectionate nickname used by her mama and papa, that started since before she could even remember. though her parents did not shy away from how proud they were of her "beautiful name", they always seemed to reserve using it for moments of extreme pride or moments of extreme disappointment. most of the time, mal is the name they use for her and the contact name in which she is saved under.
"hey aya, did you do the homework?" "you know the answer to that." it makes sense that this is a nickname, since this is what she chooses to go by in korea. things are much simpler when her classmates don't have to deal with difficult pronounciation. she feels pretty comfortable with this name, although at first it made her squirm to hear it. now it's natural for everyone to call her this -- she even insists on it.
"long time no see, retto." "hey there nillo." a unique nickname used by her childhood friend. it's simply the last half of her surname and it is usually said with a lot of affection but also a lot of tease. it's one of her favourite nicknames, though it doesn't get used much in present day since she left analyn behind in the philippines.
DATE OF BIRTH 20th of december, 1999.
AGE 21, turning 22 (23)
BIRTHPLACE manila, philippines.
HOMETOWN manila, philippines.
ETHNICITY filipino.
NATIONALITY filipino-american.
PRONOUNS she/her.
ORIENTATION heteroromantic, aual.
LANGUAGES SPOKEN
"i've been here for two years but i still struggle with korean." malaya is semi-alright with speaking korean, but even less-alright at writing hangul. she's been in korea for a couple of years, and has worked tirelessly to learn and adapt to her new surroundings. unfortunately, it hasn't worked entirely to her favour and often she struggles to understand what her peers are saying. to this day, she still works towards better understanding the language.
"it was the second language i learned as a young girl. english is a fascinating language." despite her parents worrying that she was abandoning her heritage by learning english, malaya did anyway. she started teaching herself when she was ten years old, and since then has become fully fluent in the language. it's her most frequent language since moving to korea, as when her korean fails her -- she switches to english.
"tagalog is my mother tongue." the language of her home, that was the first one she learned. her family was very strict on embracing her heritage and being proud of where she came from. so when she moved to korea, she was expected to carry her pride onwards. actually, malaya hasn't used her native tongue much at all since she left. phone calls to family are the only occasions along with slang that she can't quite shake off.
OCCUPATION 2nd year student at yonsei university, underwood international college. majoring in energy and environmental science and engineering.
FACECLAIM kreisha chu, soloist.
APPEARANCE kriesha during my smooth melody era.
the curse of a soft-round face meant that throughout malaya's whole life, people were shocked to find out her age. during childhood, it was pretty beneficial since it meant she could use children's discounts long after she'd passed the age range -- which was all she really wanted back then. in the present day, it's only bothersome. part of the reason she decided on university was so that she could experience the highs and lows of student life. as such, there was not much student life for her to experience, since most bars and adults believed her id to be fake. there was not much she could do about her babylike features. malaya looks forward to being older, and still looking like a young adult -- but for now, bars are tricky. she supposes the combination of doe eyes, plush lips and a general lack of maturaity doesn't really help her case. she just looks youthful, and probably will for a long time.
malaya doesn't really consider herself 'beautiful' but she takes good care of herself. she'd probably describe herself as 'kept' more than anything else, but she has never had much to say about her appearance regardless and it isn't the most important thing to her. she still puts effort into herself -- via light makeup, planned outfits, etc but it's never really for anybody. it's a way for her to feel good as the day goes on, without worrying about what the people around her think. whether or not a stranger likes her new tinted lip balm, or whether her classmates like the braid she had delicately woven into her hair that morning -- is not something she particularly cares about. of course after she develops a crush on haesol, he becomes the sole person that she tries to impress and seeks attention from. but for the most part, she's pretty indifferent to grooming herself.
most notably, malaya has one of earth's greatest smiles. the kind that lights up a room, and then extends a certain serenity to the people around her. a combination of a gummy smile and a box smile, and very skilled in transferring her own happiness to others. when she smiles, her eyes crinkle at the edges - not quite closed - and it seems impossible to ever see anything quite as bright.
her body remains pretty scratch-free. as she grew up, her freedom was somewhat restricted and such childlike activities were strictly forbidden. because of this, malaya is one of the few people who lack childish scars. the absence of dangerous activity was relatively good for malaya, since she has a very fragile body and bruises easily -- though her clumsy nature means that bruises are an ever-present occurrence. they don't last very long usually but as malaya struggles with herself, and becomes sick -- the bruises are longer-lasting. still, these facts don't affect her much, and she will still do that stupid thing with hada even if it means her skin is littered with bruises afterwards.
malaya doesn't have any piercings or tattoos. though there had been some debate in their church about such things, her mother was very sure of their decision to withhold. she really wanted to pierce her ears, but after hearing her mother's strict speech that prohibited her from doing so - malaya never considered it again. from time to time, she finds herself longing to have art upon her skin, to have the paintings of museums within reach on her calves - but she settles for drawing on herself with sharpie. it didn't seem worth it to lose her mothers respect over such idle things.
MEASUREMENTS 155cm and 45kg.
there isn't a specifc style that malaya sticks to, generally. she isn't picky and she doesn't make too much effort, so more often than not she just picks the necessary items to wear. bold patterns and unique embroidery just isn't her thing. she sticks to solid colours, usually earthy tones, and tries her best to not stick out. occasionally, she can be convinced to wear a skirt or two, maybe a low-cut top -- but it happens once in a blue moon and usually a result of analyn's harrassment. her comfort-zone consists of long coats, culottes and lots of hats.
she does try to branch out after she begins to crush on haesol, and she starts to wear flowery dresses a lot more. still, she keeps her signature items with these new articles of clothing even if it doesn't quite fit. when she makes a habit of teaching herself to knit, she begins to wear some of the things she makes . at first, she looks a bit ridiculous but as her skill increases, the knitted cardigans and her favourite frog hat become very popular amongst her peers.
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malaya<3
my soul magnifies the lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my saviour.
(luke 1:47)
ENFJ-A, HUFFLEPUFF, NEUTRAL GOOD, SAGITTARIUS, 7W8.
PERSONALITY
positives: affectionate. exuberant. conscientious. humble.
negatives: clumsy. misguided. inflexible. tactless.
inspirations: april kepner, seo jiwan, josette saltzman, natalie paquette, very slightly elena gilbert.
affectionate. to friends and family, aya is perhaps the most open about the love that she experiences. a solid reason to hide such feelings has never appeared to her. it is because she lacks the reasoning against it, that she is so expressive about both the platonic and romantic love she feels. whether it be a passing compliment, an offered favour, a tight hug or a gift to a certain student -- aya gives them as often as she likes. wearing her heart on her sleeve is an integral part of who she is, and she couldn't lie about love if she tried. on top of that, she was brought up to understand love as a truly good thing, whereas other people may not wholey agree with her. though she only has a couple close friends, along with her family, she puts her all into making them feel valued and loved. it's not always returned, but malaya doesn't mind. she doesn't spread her love expecting it back. being able to give affection is the greatest gift of all to her.
exuberant. aya radiates energy. there is no doubt that something within her is simply just magnetic. the way she carries herself and the way she treats the world is just so good and true - a rare quality to possess these days. very rarely can she be seen without her signature smile - all gum and teeth and joy - that lights up any room she's in. it's hard to imagine someone as bright as she is, and perhaps the very idea of her sounds like a fable until you meet her. that gift of hers, being able to spread her own joy no matter the circumstances - it's one of her greatest prides. her shine is not just limited to friends and family. in fact, malaya tends to spread cheer more towards strangers. she is aware of the great unknown that comes with strangers, and seeks to bring a little joy to their days since they could be dealing with something terrible. this is a useful tool for making friends, and often the strangers that she approaches become platonically infactuated with her, to the point they eventually gravitate into each others lives permanently. though they may not become her close friend, they're a contact on her phone and they know if they ever need a little bit of magic, that she's the girl for the job.
conscientious. whenever aya sets out to accomplish something, she does it with such certainty and diligence that it's normal to expect brilliance from her. she truly cares about the work she does, and every single detail must be perfect. if even the slightest thing is wrong, then she works until it's fixed. truly, her dedication is unparalleled. whether it be simple things such as chores, or serious things such as assignments - malaya puts her all into everything she does. and it shows. malaya might not be the smartest person in the world, but she is someone who tries her hardest to produce the best results she can -- and it's part of what makes her a teacher favourite. they can always rely on her to produce genuine work.
humble. through all that malaya has achieved in life, she has remained humble and modest about these accomplishments. she dedicates a lot of her work to her family and friends, who have supported her through the hard times and cheered her on through the easy ones. whether it was a friend reading all of her essay drafts, picking them apart and offering tips, or her mother offering some helpful prayers that inspired her to go the extra mile -- she believes she would not be brilliant without them. it just doesn't feel right to credit herself for everything, because she has received so much help from the people around her. the work she produces is great, but the motivation and inspiration to finish this work comes from the love all around her. such as, the compliments she receives for her efforts, she tends to pass along to her friends. this is just another showcase of how much her friends and family mean to her.
clumsy. since she was a child, malaya has never been strong on her feet. she was always tripping over air, dropping bibles during prayer and overall embarrassing herself in front of everyone. this only got worse as she grew, and now it's less accepted since she's an adult. she's tried every remedy to help with her balance, but nothing ever seemed to stick. as a woman in her twenties, she still has butter fingers and she still lacks the proper motor functions to avoid tripping over every uneven surface she stumbles (literally) upon. you could compare it to a toddlers motor functions, really. though a lovely woman, her friends can't trust her with anything fragile and of importance because chances are, she'll drop it on the floor, feel extremely bad, start crying, and then get the glue out to try and fix it. it's better to not hand her these things, because of the hastle that follows trusting her with fine china.
misguided. malaya makes a habit of being stuck in her own opinions and beliefs, despite them usually being misguided. a lot of her decisions are deeply routed in her religion, and because of that - it's incredibly hard for her to change her ways. the teachings of catholicism are solidified within her, that she follows along even when she's blatantly being disrespectful to others. she doesn't see the problems in her words because it's how she's been taught. when it comes to her non-religious opinions, she still seems to have faulty judgement. it seems like she's so focused on her work and on her love, that she can't see a bad decision when it's right in front of her, staring her down. often hada keeps her from going through with bad decisions, since she's the only person that can get through the thick fog that protects malaya's beliefs and reasoning. hada's friendship with malaya means that the catholic's beliefs become more up-to-date as the days go by.
inflexible. tying in to her misguided trait, malaya is very much stuck in her ways and isn't the most enthusiastic towards developing. this wouldn't be the biggest problem if a lot of malaya's beliefs weren't deeply routed in traditional, outdated catholicism. though some of the things she was taught to believe haven't always felt right, she is so tense and dependent on them that it becomes a real task to help her overcome these opinions. to suddenly hear a differing opinion on her beliefs, after twenty years of hearing different -- is a real life changing moment for malaya. not solely related to her beliefs, malaya is also very strict about her routine. anything that might affect her daily routine must be avoided at all costs, and if something does interrupt her -- then she'll end up in a foul mood all day, with her entire schedule having been messed up. her routine is one of the pillars of stability in her life, so when faced with change -- she'll turn away in fear at the first moment.
tactless. however good malaya's intentions may be, and however much she cares for the world and the people within it -- she really is pretty thoughtless when it comes to people. social cues and expressions just go straight over her head, so she can often come across as very insensitive. it doesn't help that she can't fully understand the korean language, so things get lost in translation and as a result, malaya offends the people around her. though she's not exactly meaning to be offensive, her comments are held with such disrespect that whether or not it's intentional doesn't matter anymore. sometimes she realises her mistakes and apologises, but other times she remains oblivious to her own rudeness and can get on the bad side of people.
INSPIRATION QUOTES
when april kepner said, "...makes you wonder where he is through all of the unfairness, inequity, and cruelness in the world. where is he now?" (a reference to malaya's upcoming crisis of faith.)
when april kepner said, "i lost god and god was nowhere to be found. i lost him and i'm good now. i found him again." (a reference to malaya's beliefs being lost and then found, albeit a little different than they were before.)
when april kepner said, "i have to believe that even if something seems like it can't be fixed, doesn't mean it's broken." (a reference to both her crisis of faith, and the friendships that change while she's struggling.)
when josette saltzman said, "i care too much. it's kind of a problem." (a reference to the energy and effort she puts into loving her friends.)
when natalie paquette said, "electricity i get, people? i don't." (a reference to her lack of social cues. )
when natalie paquette said, "i did it, papa. i hope wherever you are, you're cheering for me." (a reference to malaya's father.)
when natalie paquette said, "don't be afraid of the dark. find comfort in the light." (a brief reference to what god and jesus means to malaya.)
when elena gilbert said, "i'm at a crossroads right now, where i could go live my life the way i think i probably should -- be successful and safe, and probably very happy. or i could risk all of that for this tiny glimmer of a feeling inside that i...just can't shake." (a reference to the doubt she feels about her religion.)
when jane seville said, "[i feel] like i'll never recover. like i'll never draw another breath without half of it being a wish for him." (a reference towards malaya's hopeless, magnetic crush on haesol.)
four leaf clover
elle beale
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THE STARS TELL OUR STORIES, EVEN YEARS AFTER TIME PASSES.
BACKGROUND
1999. malaya was born on the worst day of the year, weather-wise. there had been a storm raging on all day, flooding the streets of manila and leading to neighbours seeking refuge in the barretto household -- one of the few houses that were lucky to retain a functioning second level. her mother alma was only days away from her predicted due date, and as such -- she had everything prepared for bringing her daughter into the world. unfortunately the one thing they didn't prepare for, was the storm that rendered roads unaccessible. of course, that was the day that baby malaya decided she wanted out and alma soon went into labour. with no way to the hospital and very little medical expertise (mama, church volunteer. papa, office worker.) -- the family had to rely on themselves and the neighbours to deliver malaya. it progressed as chaotically as it sounds, and there were lots of forks in the road (badum-tss) that day. somehow, with the blessings of jesus and a very patient doctor on the telephone, malaya was brought into the world safely at 8:47 pm.
2000-2004. after malaya was born, there were no brothers or sisters that followed. as such, she was rather spoiled in the first few years of her life (and then slightly less afterwards). since her parents only had to worry about her, they could buy her all sorts of presents and toys -- and little malaya certainly wasn't going to complain about that kind of attention. money wasn't a big problem for the family, with her father bringing home a decent amount and her mother earning money here and there with odd jobs. they were so enthralled by malaya that all they wanted to do was treat her and give her everything a little girl wanted. the risk of becoming a spoiled brat due to the attention and affection, malaya was brought into the teachings of catholicism rather quickly. her mother thought it would be easier to teach her at a young age so that there wouldn't be trouble teaching a child that had already developed a bit of an understanding of the world.
2005. kindergarten was relatively uneventful. the only important thing she takes from that time in her life was that she met her best friend there. analyn minnilo was a breath of fresh air. up until then, she had only come in contact with members of the church -- whose ideals and actions were all incredibly similar, rehearsed. analyn was carefree, realistic and most importantly - atheist. as a child, malaya was curious about analyn, who didn't act as everyone else did and it didn't take long for the two girls to become friends, since being a social butterfly has always been in malaya's blood. the two girls couldn't be happier at their newfound friendship, although alma didn't exactly approve of the other girl. malaya didn't mind her atheism while her mother was the type of catholic that tried to convert everyone else. as a little girl, it confused her to see her mother so concerned with what others chose to believe. that confusion was talked out of her, with her mother etching it into her brain that to not believe, was to sin. it scared malaya. she was afraid of sinning, having heard the stories told of what happened to sinners when faced with god's judgement. but still, she couldn't quite leave her newfound friend. besides analyn shared her crackers, and had the best fingers for braiding hair. it wasn't a simple choice - whether or not to listen to her mother - but it's one she doesn't regret.
2006-2012. elementary school was strange for malaya. the first years of it were very normal and there wasn't a lot of conflict unless you counted that time david stole her favourite pencil case and threw it off the bus. the classes weren't too serious and the material tought wasn't life-changing. everything was like it had been the previous year, except she had to keep her continued friendship with analyn a secret. things went a little south in grade 3 (2008) when her father started to drift from her mother. even as a young girl, malaya knew what it meant when her father stopped joining them for dinner and church service. she knew what was going to follow and true to her instincts, her parents split a month after. the reason? parker just didn't agree with the catholic teachings anymore and upon voicing this, alma had blown up at him. with how alma felt about religion, there was no coming back from their differences. after the divorce, parker had a long talk with malaya about her beliefs, telling her to choose her own path and destiny. soon after, he returned to america and the only contact they've had since was over the phone. alma forbade her from visiting him in america.
2013-2016. as malaya got older, the dispute between religion and self got worse. it was hard to truly focus on high school when there was a raging war going on inside her body -- between her head and her heart. the things her father had said before he left would swirl around in her mind at night, when she was alone and only had the cool air of manila to accompany her. alma was always breathing down her neck during daytime, whispering prayers and reminding her what would happen if she strayed -- she was stuck in an inbetween point. she had doubts about her beliefs, doubts about gods existence because she walked the streets every day, and all around she saw strife, chaos, and pain. if god was as the church taught, then why hadn't he solved these problems? were the troubles of commonfolk truly beneath him? these uncertainties ate away at her mind and her body, making it difficult to focus on her schoolwork. every time she prayed with her mother, every time she walked into the church and listened to the word of the bible -- it made her feel dirty, unclean. malaya tried to wash the dirt away. she took shower after shower - increasing the temperature with every failure - and she would stand under the stream of water, tears moulding with the droplets and she would scrub, scrub, scrub. with red raw skin, she felt no less unclean as she did before. it became a vicious cycle, one that grew worse as days went by. she stopped eating, telling herself that sinners didn't deserve to eat. she stopped sleeping, sinner's didn't deserve to sleep. alma could see her daughter crumbling to pieces and she immediately seeked the priests for help. malaya's shame told the priest all he needed to know and he began to work on 'fixing' her. for months, she spent time locked up in the church being freed of sin. she was pushed into a healthy routine again, despite the itching underneath her skin that made her crave relief from the evil. she must have read the same quotes from the bible a hundred times, sang the same hyms a thousand, and prayed to jesus a million times. alma had been disappointed that her daughter had been swayed by the dark, but eventually wrote it off as manipulation from her father. when malaya returned home, she was no longer allowed to talk to him at all. all that mattered to alma was that she had found jesus again and been saved.
2017-2019. free of the guilt, malaya was able to return to focusing on her studies. with not the slightest clue as to what she was working towards, malaya kept her head down and worked endlessly towards passing her classes. she figured her aspirations would come eventually, but a part of her already knew then that she didn't want to stay in the philippines for whatever it was. her mother was not very strict on what she wanted her daughter to do in life, just that it had to be respectful. malaya supposed respectful didn't have to equal manila. ignoring the darkness of the past year, malaya pondered what she could do with the results of high school. after a long session of studying for the upcoming math test, she would scroll the web for hours just looking at different courses and different pathways. she prayed to jesus for a sign, for anything that could point her towards her lifes calling and though she felt stupid for wishing for such trivial things -- she had no idea what else she could do. she wasn't a genius. with most subjects, she had scraped her way to a good grade. there was no career to be made out of subjects that made her want to collpase in a heap. the only thing she liked in school was science but the area was so broad that she still was no closer to finding her answer. when she graduated, her mother sat in the front row and snapped as many pictures as she could, posting to facebook with a few lines of praise for her baby girl. it was then that malaya figured she had a whole break to decide what she wanted to do, and so pushed the stress to the side and let herself enjoy the next few months of freedom, of love, of religion. but beneath it all, she just really missed her dad.
2020-2021. the end of break came a lot sooner than anticipated, much to aya's disappointment. the months of a healthy, fun routine opened a door to her future -- one that she was supposed to have figured out by now. and in a way, she had. while sleeping over at analyn's (under the pretense of being at a girl from churchs house), they had stumbled upon yonsei university. it was no secret that malaya was drawn to korea, drawn to the culture and the experience but found no courses that interested her. until now. yonsei had a branch for international students, and the curiousity of both girls could have crushed the whole room. for hours, they scrolled through each and every link on the website, reading up on courses that aya knew she would never consider but still wanted to look over anyway. many hyperlinks into the night, malaya stumbled upon a course that made her eyes light up, and her heartbeat jump in a way that told her everything she needed to know. this was the one. that was an emotional night for both girls. they had cried in each others arms for at least an hour, though it was probably brought on from sleep deprivation -- since both girls did not cry so easily. the very thought of being apart was too much to bare, especially since they had not lived childhood together fully (thanks alma). malaya considered convincing her to move with her, to find a course she liked and that way, they could be together without the watchful eye of her mother. it was no use. analyn's heart, though with her best friend, also belonged to a different country - to america. and malaya couldn't take that away from her friend.
the rest happened in somewhat of a blur: a flurry of applications, acceptance, then change. naturally, alma didn't take her daughters decision too well but she came around after a lot of persuasion. the university had great reviews, was in a nice location and had a religious society within. with her mother satisfied, malaya made the move to korea. a tearful goodbye with analyn, a slightly less tearful goodbye with her mother and a really good airport hotdog -- malaya was on her way. to her dismay, she didn't actually get the chance to explore seoul until a week and a half after she'd arrived. she'd been so busy moving into the global house, familiarising herself with the campus and making friends with the other international students. pretty soon after, the course had started and malaya knew this was where she was meant to be. it felt right.
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS.
LIKES
blueberry cheesecake. if there was one thing in the world that aya could choose to eat forever, it would be blueberry cheesecake. she hadn't even tried a blueberry until she was fourteen, but one day she had snuck a bite of analyn's traybake of the day and she had fallen victim to the dessert for the rest of the forseeable future. analyn jokes that she should tattoo a little blueberry cheesecake on her, because she truly is obsessed with it.
her frog hat. probably her favourite thing she's ever knitted, and she wears it more often than not. it doesn't always match her outfit, but it's a must-have accessory.
rom-coms. it's no secret that malaya is a hopeless romantic, so it comes as a surprise to nobody that she adores the ty hallmark movies where boy meets girl, love ensues. her favourite movie is definitely love, rosie.
art museums. when malaya has free time, going to the museum is one of her favourite things to do. though she doesn't possess the deep analysis of some other visitors, she likes pretty pictures and nobody has to know that she thought the mona lisa was the artist, not the art.
friends. since malaya doesn't really enjoy violence or gore, there are limitted tv shows that she enjoys. friends is one of them. it's a simple thing to watch, and it remains funny to her even after rewatching it for the fifth time.
tea. malaya is not a coffee drinker, and hot chocolate is far too sweet for her -- so she opts with the many flavours of tea. she tries new ones all the time but her favourite is green tea. get well soon cafe makes a mean cup of it.
the earth. probably self-explanatory, but malaya has always been drawn to the beauty of the world, and has always been keen to improve the condition of it. as a little girl, she was always signing petitions and donating a little of her pocket money to funds dedicated to saving the planet. she takes part in a lot of parades and rallies to do with global warming, and is generally a big activist.
storms. perhaps it has something to do with being born on a stormy day, but malaya has always enjoyed storms. cleanup duty certainly wasn't fun but the combination of crackling thunder, striking lightning and downpour of rain -- it's all kind of beautiful to her.
giving gifts. it's understandable since malaya's love language is gifts and physical touch. whenever she can afford to spend a little money on her friends, she takes the opportunity without a second thought. little things like keychains, magnets or just anything that she sees and thinks 'oh they'll like that!'. you can imagine how crazy she goes during christmastime.
physical touch. depending on the limits and comfort levels of her friends, she'll always seek some contact from them. it ranges from crossed pinkies, linked arms, or just straight up clinging to someone. it just makes her feel better and she can always count on some good old affection to cheer her up.
blueberry cheesecake. if there was one thing in the world that aya could choose to eat forever, it would be blueberry cheesecake. she hadn't even tried a blueberry until she was fourteen, but one day she had snuck a bite of analyn's traybake of the day and she had fallen victim to the dessert for the rest of the forseeable future. analyn jokes that she should tattoo a little blueberry cheesecake on her, because she truly is obsessed with it.
her frog hat. probably her favourite thing she's ever knitted, and she wears it more often than not. it doesn't always match her outfit, but it's a must-have accessory.
rom-coms. it's no secret that malaya is a hopeless romantic, so it comes as a surprise to nobody that she adores the ty hallmark movies where boy meets girl, love ensues. her favourite movie is definitely love, rosie.
art museums. when malaya has free time, going to the museum is one of her favourite things to do. though she doesn't possess the deep analysis of some other visitors, she likes pretty pictures and nobody has to know that she thought the mona lisa was the artist, not the art.
friends. since malaya doesn't really enjoy violence or gore, there are limitted tv shows that she enjoys. friends is one of them. it's a simple thing to watch, and it remains funny to her even after rewatching it for the fifth time.
tea. malaya is not a coffee drinker, and hot chocolate is far too sweet for her -- so she opts with the many flavours of tea. she tries new ones all the time but her favourite is green tea. get well soon cafe makes a mean cup of it.
the earth. probably self-explanatory, but malaya has always been drawn to the beauty of the world, and has always been keen to improve the condition of it. as a little girl, she was always signing petitions and donating a little of her pocket money to funds dedicated to saving the planet. she takes part in a lot of parades and rallies to do with global warming, and is generally a big activist.
storms. perhaps it has something to do with being born on a stormy day, but malaya has always enjoyed storms. cleanup duty certainly wasn't fun but the combination of crackling thunder, striking lightning and downpour of rain -- it's all kind of beautiful to her.
giving gifts. it's understandable since malaya's love language is gifts and physical touch. whenever she can afford to spend a little money on her friends, she takes the opportunity without a second thought. little things like keychains, magnets or just anything that she sees and thinks 'oh they'll like that!'. you can imagine how crazy she goes during christmastime.
physical touch. depending on the limits and comfort levels of her friends, she'll always seek some contact from them. it ranges from crossed pinkies, linked arms, or just straight up clinging to someone. it just makes her feel better and she can always count on some good old affection to cheer her up.
DISLIKES
meat. when malaya turned twelve, she decided she wanted to be a vegetarian. since then, she hasn't willingly eaten meat -- although an old (and now, ex) friend once tricked her and had her eat meat. for the rest of the day, malaya could not keep any food down.
her handwriting. ever the perfectionist, malaya hates her own handwriting despite the relative neatness of it. she doesn't scribbe, and her words are easy to read -- but she still hates the way it looks. because of this, she opts for digital notes instead of written ones. she's looking to buy an ipad for taking these notes, but for now she continues to bother the librarian by printing on the computers there.
alcohol. though malaya hasn't tasted alcohol, she has decided to be temperant. roman catholics don't have any particular rules about alcohol, but still malaya doesn't drink. the idea of not being in control is enough to make her abstain.
pettiness. as someone who is relatively good natured and non-confrontational, she hates when she meets people who are intent on revenge and grudges. the lord taught malaya to always forgive people for the greater good, and she doesn't understand why others don't want to achieve the same.
bubble tea. as ironic as it is, malaya really hates bubble tea. she doesn't like sweet things, but she supposes that's a good thing since she won't be drinking all the boba tea while she works.
parties. the overall atmosphere of drunk, high adults all together in one space? her worst nightmare. she attends a few here and there just to socialise, but she ends up leaving after a few hours and one too many harrassments.
sports. never having been an athletic type, malaya hates any and all sports. just watching them tires her out and she finds the whole experience boring. she could never keep her attention on it for very long.
horror movies. it's not that malaya is particularly scared of horror, though an occasional conjuring movie might give her trouble sleeping. it's mostly that she finds the whole concept of horror rather gross and hard to watch.
intense music. there isn't a particularly genre that she dislikes, just the songs that make her head ache and her ears tingle. she prefers soft, melodic songs opposed to bass turned all the way up.
being interrupted. although malaya's energy tends to mean she interrupts other people, she hates when it's done to her. not for any respect reasons, but because it often means that she forgets what she was saying in the first place.
meat. when malaya turned twelve, she decided she wanted to be a vegetarian. since then, she hasn't willingly eaten meat -- although an old (and now, ex) friend once tricked her and had her eat meat. for the rest of the day, malaya could not keep any food down.
her handwriting. ever the perfectionist, malaya hates her own handwriting despite the relative neatness of it. she doesn't scribbe, and her words are easy to read -- but she still hates the way it looks. because of this, she opts for digital notes instead of written ones. she's looking to buy an ipad for taking these notes, but for now she continues to bother the librarian by printing on the computers there.
alcohol. though malaya hasn't tasted alcohol, she has decided to be temperant. roman catholics don't have any particular rules about alcohol, but still malaya doesn't drink. the idea of not being in control is enough to make her abstain.
pettiness. as someone who is relatively good natured and non-confrontational, she hates when she meets people who are intent on revenge and grudges. the lord taught malaya to always forgive people for the greater good, and she doesn't understand why others don't want to achieve the same.
bubble tea. as ironic as it is, malaya really hates bubble tea. she doesn't like sweet things, but she supposes that's a good thing since she won't be drinking all the boba tea while she works.
parties. the overall atmosphere of drunk, high adults all together in one space? her worst nightmare. she attends a few here and there just to socialise, but she ends up leaving after a few hours and one too many harrassments.
sports. never having been an athletic type, malaya hates any and all sports. just watching them tires her out and she finds the whole experience boring. she could never keep her attention on it for very long.
horror movies. it's not that malaya is particularly scared of horror, though an occasional conjuring movie might give her trouble sleeping. it's mostly that she finds the whole concept of horror rather gross and hard to watch.
intense music. there isn't a particularly genre that she dislikes, just the songs that make her head ache and her ears tingle. she prefers soft, melodic songs opposed to bass turned all the way up.
being interrupted. although malaya's energy tends to mean she interrupts other people, she hates when it's done to her. not for any respect reasons, but because it often means that she forgets what she was saying in the first place.
TRIVIAS
one. malaya doesn't eat breakfast anymore. back in the philippines, it used to be her most important meal and she would never miss it. now, she has worked it out of her routine and in its place takes a morning shower opposed to a night one.
two. after seven months of living in korea, malaya took up knitting. she wanted to develop a hobby, since she hadn't had one since ten year old her thought she could be the next picasso. it took her a few months of uneven mittens and hats with holes in it, for her to make a breakthrough with the hobby. now, she loves to knit for her fellow students and accepts comissions for items.
three. she would love to have a small pet like a hamster or fish, but is happy enough to do her part in taking care of the global house cat.
four. malaya has never had a boyfriend, which is strange because she's the most romantic soul ever. she hopes that her first boyfriend comes soon, and she'd prefer if it were haesol.
five. has a terrible fear of the dark. as such, she sleeps with a night light. it's designed to look like a moon.
six. malaya's room has a very light, artistic aesthetic. the colour scheme includes a lot of beige, pink, and white. her walls have various framed pieces of arts, inspirational quotes from the bible and a section dedicated to pictures of herself and her friends.
seven. when it comes to habits, malaya doesn't have too many. the notable ones being: pacing the room whilst in deep thought, tapping the tips of her fingers together (like a crab.) and twisting the rings on her fingers.
eight. malaya does not drive, nor has she learned. instead, she cycles to most places on her light blue bicycle.
nine. while malaya wants kids eventually, she doesn't want to have them. has never interested her, and mostly repulses her so she'd rather adopt.
ten. malaya's scent is that of mild vanilla, a result of her hygeine products.
one. malaya doesn't eat breakfast anymore. back in the philippines, it used to be her most important meal and she would never miss it. now, she has worked it out of her routine and in its place takes a morning shower opposed to a night one.
two. after seven months of living in korea, malaya took up knitting. she wanted to develop a hobby, since she hadn't had one since ten year old her thought she could be the next picasso. it took her a few months of uneven mittens and hats with holes in it, for her to make a breakthrough with the hobby. now, she loves to knit for her fellow students and accepts comissions for items.
three. she would love to have a small pet like a hamster or fish, but is happy enough to do her part in taking care of the global house cat.
four. malaya has never had a boyfriend, which is strange because she's the most romantic soul ever. she hopes that her first boyfriend comes soon, and she'd prefer if it were haesol.
five. has a terrible fear of the dark. as such, she sleeps with a night light. it's designed to look like a moon.
six. malaya's room has a very light, artistic aesthetic. the colour scheme includes a lot of beige, pink, and white. her walls have various framed pieces of arts, inspirational quotes from the bible and a section dedicated to pictures of herself and her friends.
seven. when it comes to habits, malaya doesn't have too many. the notable ones being: pacing the room whilst in deep thought, tapping the tips of her fingers together (like a crab.) and twisting the rings on her fingers.
eight. malaya does not drive, nor has she learned. instead, she cycles to most places on her light blue bicycle.
nine. while malaya wants kids eventually, she doesn't want to have them. has never interested her, and mostly repulses her so she'd rather adopt.
ten. malaya's scent is that of mild vanilla, a result of her hygeine products.
WE CLEANSE OUR BODIES, BUT NOT OUR HEARTS.
DAILY LIFE, ROUTINE!
MONDAY
09:00-12:00: classes at campus.
12:00-13:00: quick break at get well soon, usually joined by hada.
13:30-19:30: work at 'bubble t king'
19:45-20:15: prayer at church.
20:15-23:00: free time.
09:00-12:00: classes at campus.
12:00-13:00: quick break at get well soon, usually joined by hada.
13:30-19:30: work at 'bubble t king'
19:45-20:15: prayer at church.
20:15-23:00: free time.
TUESDAY
09:00-12:00: classes at campus.
12:00-12:30: prayer at church.
12:30-14:30: free time.
14:45-21:45: work at 'bubble t king'
22:00-23:00: free time.
09:00-12:00: classes at campus.
12:00-12:30: prayer at church.
12:30-14:30: free time.
14:45-21:45: work at 'bubble t king'
22:00-23:00: free time.
WEDNESDAY
09:00-09:30: prayer at church.
9:30-12:00: free time.
12:00-15:00: classes at campus.
15:15-17:15: volunteering at care home.
17:30-23:00: free time.
09:00-09:30: prayer at church.
9:30-12:00: free time.
12:00-15:00: classes at campus.
15:15-17:15: volunteering at care home.
17:30-23:00: free time.
THURSDAY
09:00-09:30: prayer at church.
9:30-12:00: volunteering at care home.
12:00-19:00: work at 'bubble t king'.
15:15-17:15: volunteering at care home.
17:15-23:00: free time.
09:00-09:30: prayer at church.
9:30-12:00: volunteering at care home.
12:00-19:00: work at 'bubble t king'.
15:15-17:15: volunteering at care home.
17:15-23:00: free time.
FRIDAY
09:00-12:00: classes at campus.
9:30-12:00: free time.
12:00-19:00: work at 'bubble t king'.
19:15-20:15: volunteering at care home.
20:30-21:00: prayer at church.
21:15-23:00: free time.
09:00-12:00: classes at campus.
9:30-12:00: free time.
12:00-19:00: work at 'bubble t king'.
19:15-20:15: volunteering at care home.
20:30-21:00: prayer at church.
21:15-23:00: free time.
SATURDAY
09:00-12:00: classes at campus.
9:30-12:00: free time.
12:00-19:00: work at 'bubble t king'.
19:15-20:15: volunteering at care home.
20:30-21:00: prayer at church.
21:15-23:00: free time.
09:00-12:00: classes at campus.
9:30-12:00: free time.
12:00-19:00: work at 'bubble t king'.
19:15-20:15: volunteering at care home.
20:30-21:00: prayer at church.
21:15-23:00: free time.
SUNDAY, SABBATH DAY
09:00-11:00: church service.
11:00-23:00: free time / rest.
09:00-11:00: church service.
11:00-23:00: free time / rest.
NOTES
sleep schedule: malaya is very strict on not staying up past 11pm, though how early she sleeps varies. she always makes sure to eat dinner first though, even if it means she's falling asleep over a bowl of soup.
routine: malaya keeps a routine for each day, that she tries her hardest to stick to -- since unexpected changes make her uneasy. she has reminders on her phone and around three calendars in her room, that keep her on track.
work: for half of her first year in korea, malaya was relying on funds from her mother since nobody wanted to hire her because... well, she was foreign and couldn't speak korean that well. she was eventually hired in december of that year, by a bubble tea shop that was owned by the family of a friend she'd made in class. he'd made a case for her working there to his parents, and thus malaya started.
volunteering: malaya started volunteering the minute she finally settled down in korea. she briefly volunteered at a nursery, but then transferred to a care home near the dorms. she doesn't do much, but it must mean a lot to the patients there -- that she sits down and talks to them like they're actual human beings.
free time: for malaya, free time can be a range of anything. studying, hanging out with friends, going on little trips, etc. most of the time, she chooses to study for these periods of time but occasionally analyn can convince her to accept hyunsik's offer of going to the movies. sometimes (a lot of the time) malaya uses this spare time to leave gifts for haesol.
get well soon: malaya has made a habit of going to the cosy cafe after her monday classes. hada usually joins her if she can spare the time, and it tends to be one of malaya's favourite times of the week. not that hada's boss is particularly happy with malaya hogging her while she's working.
sunday: because malaya is a catholic, and a roman catholic at that -- her sabbath day is considered to be the sunday. on this day, she does not work nor does she study. it is a day of rest for her and she tends to spend the day catching up on some rest, chatting with analyn and watching tv.
sleep schedule: malaya is very strict on not staying up past 11pm, though how early she sleeps varies. she always makes sure to eat dinner first though, even if it means she's falling asleep over a bowl of soup.
routine: malaya keeps a routine for each day, that she tries her hardest to stick to -- since unexpected changes make her uneasy. she has reminders on her phone and around three calendars in her room, that keep her on track.
work: for half of her first year in korea, malaya was relying on funds from her mother since nobody wanted to hire her because... well, she was foreign and couldn't speak korean that well. she was eventually hired in december of that year, by a bubble tea shop that was owned by the family of a friend she'd made in class. he'd made a case for her working there to his parents, and thus malaya started.
volunteering: malaya started volunteering the minute she finally settled down in korea. she briefly volunteered at a nursery, but then transferred to a care home near the dorms. she doesn't do much, but it must mean a lot to the patients there -- that she sits down and talks to them like they're actual human beings.
free time: for malaya, free time can be a range of anything. studying, hanging out with friends, going on little trips, etc. most of the time, she chooses to study for these periods of time but occasionally analyn can convince her to accept hyunsik's offer of going to the movies. sometimes (a lot of the time) malaya uses this spare time to leave gifts for haesol.
get well soon: malaya has made a habit of going to the cosy cafe after her monday classes. hada usually joins her if she can spare the time, and it tends to be one of malaya's favourite times of the week. not that hada's boss is particularly happy with malaya hogging her while she's working.
sunday: because malaya is a catholic, and a roman catholic at that -- her sabbath day is considered to be the sunday. on this day, she does not work nor does she study. it is a day of rest for her and she tends to spend the day catching up on some rest, chatting with analyn and watching tv.
❛I REALLY CHERISH YOU, YOU KNOW?❜
NAME yong hada (21)
R/S best friend
OCCUPATION nursing student
akin to a girl and her golden retriever, hada and malaya are prime examples of one extremity to the other. hada being the responsible, level-headed one and malaya being the excitable, 'do things first, think later' one. somehow, they're now best friends.
at first, hada had been incredibly closed off to the other girl. despite malaya's bubbly nature, there were just some people in the world that had closed off hearts. hada was one of those people. when the two girls met, it was malaya's first day in korea and she had stopped by get well soon cafe. hada was working that day, and happened to be the one to take malaya's very messy order. messy in the sense that her knowledge of korean had been learned on the plane. hada was kind and patient, despite the line building behind her -- and malaya was so overwhelmed with joy at her kindness, that she slid her number over on a napkin.
hada didn't call.
but no worry! malaya was stubborn. for weeks after, she would stop by the cafe to talk to hada. sometimes she was working, sometimes she wasn't. when she was, malaya's conversation grew and grew over the time. as she learned more korean, she spent more time chatting to her. and when she bumped into hada in the university, she felt her luck was only growing.
of course it took time for hada to let her in -- around three months, if malaya remembers correctly. but apparently the insistence of malaya worked and now they're best friends. hada keeps malaya in line, controlling her energy and helping her grow as a person. she's a shoulder to cry on, a pillar to rely on and she makes great green tea. in return, malaya is her positive bubble. she looks up to her, is inspired by her and offers subtle help whenever hada looks like she could use an extra pair of hands.
imagery: pinky promises, cat & dog, breezy summer days, unique mugs, soft rugs, sunshine & rain.
imagery: pinky promises, cat & dog, breezy summer days, unique mugs, soft rugs, sunshine & rain.
❛I WASN'T VERY SUBTLE ABOUT LIKING YOU.❜
NAME lim haesol (23)
R/S one-sided crush
OCCUPATION bioindustrial engineering student
there isn't a lot to their relationship considering haesol most likely doesn't remember her name. they've crossed paths with acknowledgement only a few times, in which malaya had fallen hopelessly, pathetically in love with him.
the first time she saw him, he was sprawled out on one of the library sofas. he had the most worn-out look on his face, perhaps the most fatigued she had ever seen anyone. she watched him for a little bit, studying the tension in his entire body and the way it seemed to disappear when, what malaya assumed was, his friends appeared. that switch was enough to intrigue malaya.
after that day, she seemed to spot him everywhere. she was only a first year, barely anything to anyone at yonsei. haesol, despite being a third year, had been so kind to her the next time she saw him. in a rush and not paying attention, she had knocked into him and spilled his drink all over him. she expected anger but instead she got understanding. humour. kindness?
malaya was so gone.
they haven't interacted since, and malaya mostly watches from afar. she feels stupid for being so far gone for a guy she's spoken to once, but she can't help herself. after encouragement from analyn, she started to leave love notes, boxes of chocolates and little roses -- in an attempt to, as analyn put it, woo him. so far...well. you know.
imagery: longing glances, heart-shaped chocolates, floral patterns, warm fireplaces, starlight.
imagery: longing glances, heart-shaped chocolates, floral patterns, warm fireplaces, starlight.
❛YOU'VE BEEN MY BEST FRIEND SINCE I COULD EVEN REMEMBER.❜
NAME analyn minnilo (21)
R/S childhood best friend
OCCUPATION fashion design student
since malaya could remember, analyn was by her side. after meeting in kindergarten, it didn't take long for the two girls to become as thick as thieves. despite the differences in them as people, and their lifestyles -- something drew them together.
malaya's mother didn't like the friendship between them since analyn wasn't catholic. it didn't seem to be a life-changing problem at first, but eventually malaya was given an ultimatum. as far as alma knew, malaya had cut the friendship off. the girls knew different. they continued on as best friends, but kept the arrangement a secret. malaya felt guilty for lying, but she just couldn't leave analyn.
nowadays, their friendship is both easier and harder at the same time. easier in the sense that they don't have to keep it secret, but harder in the sense that aya is in korea and analyn is in america. still, they make sure to keep in contact. whenever one girl has a little bit of time, they'll call the other and chat for a little bit. both of them are determined to stay together because after all they've done to be together, a difference in countries isn't going to stop them. after all, analyn is everything aya likes within herself and more.
imagery: home, the smell of the sea, familiarity, old friends, knowing smiles.
❛MAMA, RELIGION IS GOOD -- GREAT, EVEN. BUT IT ISN'T LIFE.❜
NAME alma barretto (46)
R/S mother
OCCUPATION church volunteer
aya has never been particularly close with her mother. in fact, mostly it seems like alma had a daughter for the sake of having one, because it was the 'natural flow of life'. sure, aya got spoiled with gifts -- but there was never any deep connection between the two. this wasn't to say that they didn't love each other because they did. it was just love given because it was expected.
after aya moved to korea, this diconnection was clear. since she wasn't in her mothers presence all of the time, she could see the cracks in their relationship. she could see the tricks of alma, and how un-motherlike she was at times. for a while, she ignored this because it was what god would have wanted her to do. but with every call home that was full of her mother talking about herself, the church and anything under the sun except her daughter -- she could feel her faith start to slip.
in those moments, it was clear that pretty soon she would be ostracised like her father was.
imagery: long distance, foggy days, confusion, broken clocks, dirty mirrors.
❛PAPA, I PROMISE TO MAKE YOU PROUD.❜
NAME parker barretto (49)
R/S father
OCCUPATION office worker
before the fallout, malaya had a best friend in her father. she was his little girl and he was her hero. alma spoiled her with gifts while parker spoiled her with genuine love. he spoon-fed her vegetables to her like a plane, pushed her on the playpark swings and let her crawl into his arms whenever she had a nightmare. alma may have been her mother, but parker was her dad.
their relationship changed as she grew, but only in the ways it's supposed to. instead of aeroplane vegetables, it was loving advice on how to handle boys. instead of pushing her on the swings, it was staying up all night to help her with math problems. the nightmares never quite went away though, and parker never stopped letting her crawl into his arms.
when he left, malaya was heartbroken. not being able to cuddle him and poke the birthmark on his shoulder, was a real struggle for her. though she called him and texted, it just wasn't the same. when her mother forbade even that, aya wished she had appreciated the little that she had before she had nothing.
his words always sat in the back of her mind, the ones he said before he left. "be who you are, not who the world is telling you to be." and out of fear, she had pushed the words away. fear of what finding herself would do to her. but as she grew older and older, the words began to shift forward from their place in the backroom. as they did, she missed her dad more than words could ever say.
imagery: lost & found, holding hands, desperation, breezy days, childhood adolescence.
❛YOU GAVE ME THE CHANCE THAT NOBODY ELSE WANTED TO GIVE ME.❜
NAME jeon hyunsik (22)
R/S co-worker and friend
OCCUPATION student
hyunsik and aya met because they both chose the same course at yonsei. aya had naturally became somewhat friends with a lot of people in the class, hyunsik being one of them. at first, he was a little hard to get used to - what with his flirtacious, mischeivious personality - but eventually aya had made a good friend in him.
he didn't mind that she was behind on the language, or that she often denied his requests to hang out in favour of church. he didn't mind that in everyway possible, they seemed to be different. his parents minded a little more when hyunsik started asking them if aya could work at their family shop. for the same reasons other places didn't hire her, his parents were hesitant but hyunsik was insistent and stubborn and didn't give up. malaya has been working there for almost two years now.
aya is glad to have met him, not only because he got her a job, but because despite his vexing behaviour -- he was a good person when she needed one.
memories
life direction
up until now, malaya has kept her faith close to her chest even after moving to korea and away from her mother. she's kept up with her prayers at church, held herself in a way her mother would claim as 'holy' and kept sabbath day. there had been no repeats of her desent in faith.
but as most things do, it comes back. with hada being her best friend and analyn being her childhood friend -- she watches them struggle. and she always offers help, because that's who she is. she starts to wonder however, why she has to help in the first place. those questions she asked herself the first time were back and in greater number now that she's older. every time she helped hada carry her groceries in or slipped a few extra wads of cash into her purse, she would stop and ask "why isn't jesus helping her? she is as good as they come and still..."
and as soon as she begins to doubt slightly, it spreads like wildfire and consumes her wholey. she reverts back to the young girl who felt unclean 24/7, who felt that she didn't deserve to sleep or eat because she was doubting her lord. she began to punish herself again. the people around her can only watch as she destroys herself and her future, because what could they say to help? they weren't religious, they didn't know how to approach the situation without making it worse. aya had briefly mentioned to hada that her mother had taken care of the doubt the first time, but was vague about the details. now that her doubts had come back, they observed something akin to terror in her. fear that her mother would find out, fear that she would be locked up in church again, fear that she would have to go home.
in this massivve turning point, there are multiple ways things can happen. she might lose friends because destruction shows no mercy against friend or foe. she might keep friends and be even closer than ever. she can return to her faith, in healthier ways than the first time and understand the true meaning of religion according to her -- to live her live as a person who follows religion, not as a religion-reliant person. or she can turn her back on the faith like her father and experience the familial fallout but the relief of being herself for the first time.
'faith restored, but new' route : after the period of darkness, there comes light. malaya keeps her doubts from her mother out of fear, but is open to the friends she's made in korea. together, their friendship gives her the motivation to pull herself out of the hole she's fallen into. she's avoided church since she started doubting, but with her friends help -- she steps foot within the threshold again. of her volition, she finds the meaning of religion within the lines of the bible. she watches her fellow catholics and studies their behaviour. aya realises that religion is different for each and every catholic, and that she has suffered for so long because she had been manipulated into believing the way her mother had. now, she has to find out what religion means to her and she might lose things in the process (her past faith, her mothers respect, her churchs respect) but perhaps it is worth it for what she gains (a sense of self, her father, a public friendship with analyn).
'religion isn't life anymore' route : with lots of support from the people around her, malaya comes to the realisation that she's been living a lie, upholding an act. from the moment she was born, she's been shaped into the person her mother wanted her to be. that isn't how it should be, and she can't live the rest of her life as her mothers version of herself. there was too many holes in her belief and she couldn't come back from that -- didn't want to come back from it. so she turns her back on catholicism and begins to discover who she is outside of the image her mother forced upon her.
︿
﹀
interview
korean english tagalog
HELLO, IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.
malaya offers a smile accompanied by an enthusiastic wave, "hi! it's nice to meet you too."
NOW, BEFORE WE START, CAN YOU INTRODUCE YOURSELF?
an understanding nod and aya begins to speak, "i'm malaya barretto. you can call me aya kim, though. makes it easier for everyone," she pauses to snort sheepishly, rubbing her palms together. "i'm a 21 year old student at yonsei, more-- uhh. what's the word for specifically..." there is silence for a few moments, as aya looks deep in thought. "nevermind! i'm studying energy and environmental science and engineering there." she looks proud, and almost as if she plans to leave the introduction there before she makes a noise of realisation, "wait korea has a weird age system! well, not weird...uh different! yeah, different. i think i'm like twenty three or something here? it's strange."
WHAT ARE YOUR CURRENT GOALS IN LIFE?
malaya makes a low noise under her breath, "oh my! that's a big question, don't you think?" she laughs nervously. "i think i just want to get through school for now! and to carry the lord's word with me while i do it," the last part is added on quickly to her first statement, as if it hadn't crossed her mind.
DO YOU HAVE A LIFE MOTTO OR PRINCIPLE YOU LIVE BY?
"if i had to pick...i'd say i live by the words 'thy word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path' from the bible," she looks pleased with her decision. "i have faith in the lord to guide me where i need to be -- sorry i don't know the words for faith and guide."
WHAT ARE THREE WORDS YOU IMAGINE PEOPLE DESCRIBE YOU AS?
malaya holds up three fingers and begins, "reliable," she puts down a finger, "loyal," another finger, "and...pretty?" she leaves the last finger up as she flushes a pretty pink colour. it is clear that the last word was said with a specific someone in mind. there is a moment of silence as malaya seems lost in thought, a stupid smile painting her face. "oh! sorry--" her hands return to her lap, "lost my thoughts there."
HOW DO YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED LATER IN LIFE?
the atmosphere turns a little serious as malaya's straight posture sinks a little. the question seems to have unravelled a tightly-knit bundle in her mind, and she doesn't answer for at least a couple minutes. "as someone who was good," she starts carefully, weighing out the words before she says them, "despite the circumstances." she offers no more explanation, settling into the silence and tapping the tips of her fingers together out of habit.
ANY LAST WORDS BEFORE WE END? IT'S BEEN GREAT HAVING YOU.
seemingly still disturbed by the last question, malaya's aura is a little off as she speaks, "it's been great speaking to you! sorry about my korean, i'm still pretty bad," she feigns her previous enthusiasm and stands to leave, "have a great day!"
︿
﹀
dear future,
i do not want to have you
to fill the empty parts of me
i want to be full on my own
i want to be so complete
i could light a whole city
and then
i want to have you
cause the two of us combined
could set it on fire
- rupi kaur
scroll right
AS A LOVER malaya wouldn't be too much different as a lover, as she is a friend. since she's a naturally affectionate person, there is no distinguishable action between friend and lover. you'd find that she would probably treat her friends the same way she treats her boyfriend, if only a little differently. the difference would be things such as kissing, more intimate gifts, sleeping together (although she and hada often fall asleep together on the sofa) and the affection being upped. malaya would never want her boyfriend to doubt her love for them, so she would give them herself and then a whole lot more. perhaps her love might even be overwhelming to the wrong person, but it would be a safety net for the right one. more importantly, malaya is aual so she would refrain from having -- and her partner would have to respect that.
IDEAL TYPE malaya had never really thought of what her ideal man was like, mostly because she didn't have a lot of crushes. a few here and there because they were 'good catholic boys' and her mother had put it in her head that they were the kind of boys she needed to marry. haesol was her first official crush, since he turned into something a lot more. if you had asked her, she wouldn't think there was anything specific about haesol that she liked. no traits that she would see in another man and then fall for them too. although she wouldn't like a guy that was rude or insulting of her or her friends. some people were into bad boys, malaya wasn't one of them (or is she????). mostly, malaya just wants someone who she look at and can feel the electricity of attraction -- the same way she did with haesol. love at first sight.
so this is love?
ending credits
BLOOMLATER. LIA. 7/8.
COMMENTS this application was probably subject to some of the most Intense research i've ever done in my life. when brainstorming malaya, i wanted to give you the option to have a character dialing into crisis of faith but i should mention that i'm an atheist and the only knowledge of religion, i learned in RE two years ago -- plus it was on buddhism so it's not the tiniest bit helpful. i had to do lots of research into the religion and it was very stressful because there's sa lot of branches and i fell down a lot of rabbit holes. if anything i refer to in this application is offensive or incorrect, please do let me know because i will take all the religious advice i can get.
i didn't include a backup faceclaim because i'm pretty sure there are no other filipino idols (besides the one i've used for malaya's best friend) so i hope that's okay! if i end up having to change the face, i would have to rework some of her information to fit the ethnicity of the new faceclaim. but if i need to do this, i'm happy to do so!
to anyone reading these notes before i've sorted them into sentences that make sense, hi hello how are you ^-^ LMAO.
so as i write her personality, it does seem a little contradicting that she is so GOOD and genuine when she has a lot of deeply routed traditional beliefs that align with her religion. the way i see it, malaya does not concern herself with what she doesnt understand nor does she try to understand it. she also doesnt have a lot of hatred in her heart, so i imagine her reaction to the extremeties shown by certain catholics (her mother included) would be one of discomfort. if she happens to strike gold and awaken herself to certain concepts that DONT align with her religion, i imagine that she will find it strange at first but then adapt to it, as one does.
ALSO im not certain i've tied up every loose end in malaya's backstory/personality but in my defence, a lot of my writing is done at hours oclock. YO wtf is going on with this girls background, i feel like i keep typing and typing and never stopping.
you dont know how tempted i was to insert heavy jesus music as the iframe thing LMAO.
so for life direction, i tried to balance out what i had in mind and obviously where you'd like to go as a writer -- so i wrote two endings for malaya that can be completely up to you! mostly the life direction section is just a vague idea of how her story can go, and not a lot of it is set in stone. the only things i would say are set in stone is the return of her religious doubts and how she acts because of it. everything else can be down to you as a writer!
and that's lia's brainfarts on a page! hope you like malaya<3
SCENE SUGGESTIONS
-- please, please, PLEASE show hada and malaya's friendship. their monday cafe dates, malaya's helping hand constantly hovering, hada pretending to be annoyed at malaya's blatant affection but secretly adoring it. literally hada and her annoying puppy dog.
-- i'd love to see malaya pining over haesol: leaving him love letters, boxes of his favourite sweets, a rose here or there. lovesick puppy vibes.
-- global house friendship <3
-- someone helping malaya with her korean and translating the things she doesn't understand.
-- dorm cat. its canon. ive made it canon. theres a cat that lives in the global house and the residents all take care of it.
-- aya gets a video call from analyn whose in america. with analyn is a familiar face, also in america. her dad :( 3 who she hasnt had contact with since her mother cut it off.
-- please, please, PLEASE show hada and malaya's friendship. their monday cafe dates, malaya's helping hand constantly hovering, hada pretending to be annoyed at malaya's blatant affection but secretly adoring it. literally hada and her annoying puppy dog.
-- i'd love to see malaya pining over haesol: leaving him love letters, boxes of his favourite sweets, a rose here or there. lovesick puppy vibes.
-- global house friendship <3
-- someone helping malaya with her korean and translating the things she doesn't understand.
-- dorm cat. its canon. ive made it canon. theres a cat that lives in the global house and the residents all take care of it.
-- aya gets a video call from analyn whose in america. with analyn is a familiar face, also in america. her dad :( 3 who she hasnt had contact with since her mother cut it off.
PASSWORD you probably know already but it's hada! i adore everything about her from her faceclaim down to what she represents<3___<3 for my other character, i'll probably switch the password to fit who his favourite would be. spice it up yk!
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