Good morning and happy friday- another day for me to wonder what I have done the past twenty three years.

Time flies by fast, doesn't it? There are times when I feel nostalgic thinking about it. I'm far from what I thought I'd be at twenty three when I was thirteen. My birthday month is on April and I've been on his site since 2011, it's been a decade and this place is very much like home. 

 As a special reminder to myself, like a blog I wrote ten years ago that I have drafted, here is a rewrite. 

1) All bad things pass. + But so do good things. 

    Mandalee, you thought things would go the way you think and you have underestimated the ability of how things change. You've celebrated birthdays with friends, achievements with families and there were moments you believed that you have reached your peak but then something comes along the way and proves you wrong. 

I know you will continue to feel that way, that things are never going to be enough. This too shall pass refers to both good and bad and I hope that from this day onwards, you focus on trying to gain peace. Ambition is good but if you reach for the stars and they fall, you're going down with it. 

2) _{Always hold on to things that give you happiness.   Let go of things that no longer serve you purpose.} 

Don't give yourself rope burn, love. Holding onto things that are useless will do you more harm than good. I know you think that if you try hard enough, if you do your best, you will get what you deserve but that's not always true. There are good people who die praying. Learn how to let go of things that no longer help you-- things, friends, thoughts, memories. As you grow older, your time and energy slowly becomes limited. Learn how to balance what you need and what you don't. 

Do yourself a favor. 

3) Always be kind.  Sometimes, the best way to be kind is to be tough. 

Not everyone has to like you. Sometimes, when it comes to doing your job, it's better to have people hate you. It's better to yell at them and tell them that they are doing an absolute job and you are not having any of it. Don't look into their personal life, don't wonder about how they are doing emotionally. Stop doing that. We all have those days but as adults, one must learn how to balance everything in order to be productive. They do not have to be babied. If they can't handle it, then maybe they are simply not fit for the job. That is when you must reach out.

4) Always remember where your heart is. + And accept the fact that even that, may change. 

The things you want now may not be what you want ten years from now. Be prepared for the best and the worst. Right now, your heart is with your sister and your family. It will always be that way and maybe one day, it may shift to your career to your very own family. 

5) To Each Of Their Own 

To each of their own.
To each of their own.
To each of their own.
 

6) Silence can be an answer. + And sometimes, the lack of clarity can drive you crazy. 

Sorry for telling you that you must always demand for answers. You get aggressive sometimes, I know, I'm you. lol. Silence can be an answer and when people don't give you an answer 1) They don't know the answer to the question. 2) They don't want to give you what you want and is just afraid to say it. 

When that happens, take a step back. Don't push them. You've been in the dark before. Silence is an answer. 

7) It's okay to fall in love. + Just remember, control is not love.

Know the difference between someone who loves you and wants the best for you, or someone who thinks they own you. You are your own person. You didn't see the signs before but you do now. Love can be beautiful if it's healthy. It's not always an adventure and it can be boring. Don't ignore the signs and focus on your gut feeling. 

8) I will not forgive you if you are weak.  I will understand and I will work to make you better. 

It happens, my love. It happens. 

9) Don't lose yourself. 

I think this will be the only thing that won't change.

You've lost yourself over a guy before, over failed exams and bad friends. It was a whirlwind of events and I hope you keep in mind how ed up you were then. Keep reminding yourself not to lose yourself. You have no one other than yourself. You're 23 now and you've got so many years to go, along the process of living, I hope you become someone you can truly be proud of. 

10) Last but not least, I love you. + And I will continue to do so, through thick and thin and everything in between. 

I love you, I really do.

I'm sorry if I'm hard on you, sometimes. You understand, right? You've made some hella ed up decisions that you can't justify now. But I love you and I will continue to love you. I will do what I have to do so you get what you want, it's a working system between your brain and your heart but ultimately, we are one.

You're so flawed and you know it but you are very much loved and thats all you need to know. 

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April is coming. 

24, see you soon.