tbh, im in a slump. i feel tired most of the time without any exact reason. i wanted to go to a psychologist but i got no money and i cant ask my parents for it because they'll start attacking me with their words and make me feel even worse. i have problem with myself, as in mental illness ig. i feel so done lately. and it got worse and worse. i cant seem to find someone to vent out to, hence why i write this.

this might be a bit triggering but tbh, i really dont feel like living anymore. i know ending your life isnt a solution. its just tiredness and i wont, at least i'll try not to do any stupid , but for now, i want to continue living, its just my environment isnt any better and its stressing me so much. I want to be in a better environment, a better place. people who actually care about me. those who will accept me as who i am. its very stressing and tiring

i cant keep myself motivated but ig its time to look for a job and earn money so i can take care of myself a lot better. the pain around my stomach area has got a bit worse in the last 2 days. i had it checked before to the doctor and he says it can turn out as appendicitis and i need to take care of my health and eat on schedule. my fault yes, i havent been doing that lately and it got a bit painful since yesterday and even today morning my stomach was aching so much.

tbh i still continue to live bc i know my lil sister actually does care for me. and now that i have a special someone, i have another reason to live. i keep going and trying my best to stay strong bc of them two but i reach my breaking point. its very tiring and its just, i dont think i can continue. im trying my best and hopefully things goes well. if someone out there read this, especially people who read my stories, i just want to thank you all for reading my crappy writings. it was really fun writing here, meeting lots of exciting people, reading lots of other's stories. it was really fun.

Until we meet again, and im sure this message wont be the last message from me :) I love you all

Peace