hi there! i don't know who'll see this because i'm not sure if my story subscribers get notifications of my blog posts but i just need to let out some of my... let's say, meta musings about taoris so i can properly function again (also, some musings about life, because i'm in that kind of mood, i guess).

yes, obviously this was egged on by february 28 aka weibo night which, if you follow me on twitter, you'd know was really something. i guess for me, seeing them and their interactions during the event really solidified the idea that taoris has reconciled. that their friendship has been mended again.

considering the fact that i've followed them since 2012-2013, it's only natural that i can't stop thinking about the state of their relationship in 2021 today. almost ten years later. i just... i just find their bond so remarkable. aside from the obvious fact that they've managed to mend their relationship again despite the very public falling out - i still remember the teary interviews, the feelings of betrayal, the thinly veiled anger - while than in itself is so remarkable, it's somehow also so much more than that. 

here's the thing. usually, when you meet someone that you form such a strong bond with at such a young age, you usually separate. it's usually the wrong time. think of childhood best friends that grow apart, high school sweethearts that separate because of graduation, or even first loves that didn't make it because you were just in different phases in your life. that's what happened with tao and yifan, too. they formed such a deep bond and such a great friendship despite (or maybe, because of) the ty circumstances they were in - until yifan understandably left, and tao was left alone to resolve the grief of their dead relationship on his own (albeit i'm sure yifan also handled those feelings in private).

you see, that's how these situations usually stay. you shut up, resolve the grief on your own, find closure in places that don't actually provide it, and move on with your life. those childhood best friends, high school sweethearts, and first loves - those people are just the products of our past. we might think of them with some naïve fondness, or thank them because the bittersweet experience we acquired from them propelled us into maturity. but those people are never coming back into our lives again. maybe once or twice they cross our paths again - a brief reunion, perhaps. but that's all we see of them again. we don't truly share our life with them in a meaningful way anymore.

but with taoris... despite the conflict, the anger, the disappointment - after ten years they still manage to find their way back to each other. not just for a brief reunion, but they're now a constant presence in each others' lives again. tao was there when yifan trained for his racing career. yifan continues to support tao and his music, even sending special jewelry from his brand at some point. they go out to eat hotpot together. ing hotpot. they went from overwhelming grief and anger to the normalcy of friendship - the banality of eating hotpot together. honestly, that leap is ing huge. and the fact that they care about each other so much that they want to make their relationship work and actually do put the effort in it (god, i can only imagine the emotional conversations they had in the process), so they can have each other in their lives again - it's truly unreal.

and you know what? even though things has changed so ing much, at the same time it feels like nothing has changed. they - including luhan - are still the same brothers, still there for each other even though they can't always be physically there for each other because they have separate careers. regardless, they always find a time and opportunity to see each other and sometimes even work together. and just to indulge my taoris feels - tao still adores and looks up to yifan and yifan gravitates to tao all the same despite their rocky past. to be completely frank, sometimes i just want the three of them to sit down in a room with a journalist, have them tell their story about their friendship, and have a ing book written about it. i would read the out of it. scratch that, i would treasure that book until i die. but in all honesty, yifan's leave from korea opened up so many questions that are still left unanswered until today, and i respect if he wants to keep it that way.

but coming back to the topic at hand - taoris' bond, well, there's just something so special about it. even through everything they've experienced their friendship survives. they can do these stupid, normal, every day things together again. i truly think the bond they share is not one that comes often, perhaps not even once in a lifetime. not everyone is so lucky to have a connection like that with another person - to form such a strong relationship during their formative years, only to become separated because of circumstances (such a bitter and painful separation it was, too), but eventually find their way back to each other again. god, i swear the magnitude of their bond could move mountains.

in conclusion, stan taoris - the only ship that matters. /j. <3

btw... if you like this kind of post let me know cause i have so much thoughts about taoris that have nowhere to go.