How To Be "Straight" By Rachel Berry
1. What do you do when a girl slaps you across your face? Forgive her instantly because she’s the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen.
-
2. Then you should comfort her by telling her that she is absolutely beautiful.
-
3. …in fact, spend as much time as you can telling people that this girl is the prettiest person ever. Even try to get her nose.
-
4. Then you should just stare at her with want/need/love.
-
5. Become a football player
-
6. While everyone in your glee club performs a y number, sit back and hang out with the pretty girl.
-
7. Get up close and personal with the new, cute foreign exchange student when you’ve only met a few minutes ago
-
8. Try to get other girls to wear your clothes so you don’t have to imagine it anymore.
-
9. Sing a lesbian duet with your best girl friend. Make sure to get really close to her and your lips during it.
-
10. Join a club that only has one member: the prettiest girl you have ever met.
-
The end.
Comments