I had mentioed before that in my life, the year of 2016 was the worst year but it turns out it was last months of 2019 which led up to horrible year of 2020 filled with COVID-19, lockdown, racism attacks and many more. I admit that September 2019 was the start of my mental downfall because of a personally tragic event that broke me but it never gave me a chance to vent out but for the sake of my family and my sanity and due to work hours, I had kept it bottled inside. It feels like after 2020 had began, a lot of things started to go backwards and it's getting more and more crazy. As we're nearly getting at the end of 2020, I would like to share moments of the good, the bad and the effing ugly about 2020. 

The Good

After starting my new job in a different department, I was working great and I felt like I was getting the confidence and positivity back that I had lost before my life fell apart. I was working hard and got along with my new colleagues and work kept me busy away from my personal issues and other things. At the same time, my brother was recently engaged to his long-time girlfriend and everything was in full swing for the wedding in February and it was the 1st wedding for the son of our family too. It was hard to face people after I fell apart but I was slowly recovering with the help of my family and friends. I had finally won an award for the highest revenue for hotel bookings in a week and I couldn't be happier because it was the first for me and it felt great getting that kind of accomlishment. 

The Bad

Between March to May 2020, the news about COVID-19 started to spread like fire and it's crazy to think it started in one country and then moved onto other countries worldwide which put us in a panic mode. Our hotel bookings started to decrease and our workload came through more less than before, and we had to deal with a lot of cancellations because of COVID-19 too. At the same time, due to the lack of work and security measures, we had to go on lockdown for months which was hectic and everything had changed. Few of my family members were visiting abroad and with the lockdown rules, it was getting stressful for them to return but luckily they returned home safely. Despite the tough time in that period, our family were kept busy with news that was welcoming for a long time and felt hope in the darkest of times.

The Effing Ugly

Summer began with the hottest weather in years and lockdown just had some of us feeling bored and crazy. At the same time, I was going through Divorce procedures which went forward but a hidden move from my ex (that happened months back before he disappeared) had me stressed out and had to find a way to speed things up. Because of this anxiety and the lockdown situation, my sanity started to unravel and I felt myself feeling emotionally overwhelmed but shockingly enough, it turned out that I was feeling possessed by an unknown entity that latched onto my mind and body (It felt like something out of The Exorcist and everything that happened were actual events). Whenever I had to pray, I felt some phantom pain around my body and during some of the prayers, I felt like I was laughing or crying which put a toll on my mental health. My mother and my aunt had consulted a Cleric to conduct an exorcism on me which was somewhat painful but I finally felt the lightness in my head once it was over.

Where Am I Now?

After this whole ordeal, I have recovered from this unexpected event and I am making sure that I keep myself busy, going for walks outside, eating healthy with a balanaced diet and doing things that makes me happy. As we are waiting for a new arrival, it will be a different kind of joy in our family and pray that things will get better after 2020 ends. We can never expect anything nowadays and because of the current situation, you may feel uncertain so it's imprtant that you keep yourself happy and normal.