So it's Monday, first day of the week and I had to go back to work. I had been undergoing a "Shadowing" program where I was taught the ropes in one department(more known as Project), and I really the job description it because it was similar to one task on my previous job. It was like a comfort zone and I felt like I will really be able to show my skills and excel, compared to the previous training I had that required me to have brain hemorrhage every day. So there were 3 of us on that Shadowing program but only one slot for roll-in. At this morning's meeting, we were told who was going to get the slot. And obviously, it's not me, or else I wouldn't be writing about it here. I feel really bad because I really wanted the position, and it was not a competition so I was not able to show the managers how good I will be at it, or how much I wanted it. This means I have to go back to Bench Training and beat my brains again with the information overload that seem to be the culture there. The only hope I have is that the person chosen doesn't want the job but that will probably be asking for too much. Well, it is what it is and there is nothing I can do about it. I just needed to let things out because I'm trying this new thing which I don't bottle up my feelings anymore because I get chest pains sometimes, and it's scaring me. I had been bottling up my emotions for over a decade, and I feel like they are catching up to me. And with recent events and changes in my life, there's nowhere else I could let it out but here. It had been really hard for me to stay positive and I don't know what to do. I'm at that point where I feel that no one cares, even though I know that's not true. It's just how people make me feel these days, and I hate myself for wanting too much attention. Seriously the only thing that had been getting me to smile recently is Seventeen, but something happened and I don't really feel like watching even that for now. I can't even talk about it here, so maybe I'll just write it down somewhere. Or bottle that up again until the next explosion. So once again, after all that ranting, I'm still that INFP who feels a lot and wants to be understood but puts up a seven-layered wall so no anyone who tried will fail. But since it's Monday, I will look forward to Going Seventeen. Maybe I'll get some good laughs after the ROFL episode last time. I don't care about the issues of the previous episode. I love Jeon Wonwoo and I don't care about anything else about the issue right now. If you had problems with it, go somewhere else (or come here so I can pull your sideburns even harder than Hoshi did to Wonwoo).

Enough negativity. Thanks for reading through my rambles. I'll find a way around my writer's block and become the old me again.