So I'm at work today an I got Sat a mother and her 10 year old son. Everything is going good, easy order, very polite.
About ten minutes before they pay and leave. This little boy asks if I wanted to hear this fact that he had heard. I say sure thing. He then tells me this. "Humans buttholes can stretch up to 8inches. An a raccoon can crawl into spaces 4inches or larger. So that means Raccoons can go up people's butts." 
I didnt even know how to reply to that. I felt grossed out but at the same time I couldn't hold in the laugh...   His mother had this look of horror on her face, got really red and kept apologising to me. I also ended up getting a $9 tip.