Depression
When I'm upset, I shut myself down. I have no motivation for anything. I tell myself that nobody cares even though I know some do. I think all the negative things I could possibly think of. I give myself the pain, thinking I deserve it. I'm not sure why I do that. But that's just how I am.
I'm sick of crying, I'm sick of trying, yes I'm smiling but inside I'm dying. You may think I'm using my depression as an excuse to get attention but trust me, I'll give everything, anything in my power just to function normally on a day to day basis.
Having depression isn't fun.
Depression is like living in a body that fights to survive with a mind that tries to die.
If only you can read my mind...
you'd be in tears cause living my life is like living in hell. Cause no one understands you. No one bothers to ask you what you really feel inside. Cause they don't know how it feels like imprisoned inside a body that always empty.
And to those people who might cause me my pain....if one day you woke up and I'm gone cry, don't grieve, don't write or tell how much you loved me, because when I was alone in my darkest hour, you weren't there to stand beside me to make sure I'm okay. Don't say I was a wonderful person and wonder how people can be so cruel cause at some point you might be one of the reasons I took my life that night.
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