I was really scared in the begining, even though I didnt do anything wrong it appeared that the arrows have been pointed at me, in the end I was the cuprit of everyone else's crime. 

Maybe my silence is not the best way, but its my only way, at least untill I know what to say, how to say , whats the best thing to say.

You or others may take it as a victory but the same God I prayed to over and over again when I was in the lowest place, the same one you or others probably dont believe in, unfolded His plan and the wisdom behind it. And thats all I need to wait for. 

He said "Be patient under all conditions and place your whole trust and confidence in God." and everytime I did, with a bit of patience, with a bit of trust in Him, he showed me he's still there for me. Even when everyone else refused to be. 

He showed me how to pull myself together and stand up again, on my own two feet,  contrary to what you or many others wanted me to believe. That I cant do it on my own, that I need someone to raise me up. 

I believe that empowered you, to see me hopeless without others to pull me up. You probably felt better about your miserable life looking at my rough times. and I think thats why you could never fully realize how pitiful you lived, because you hid it behind others miseries. 

Tonight, I'll say the same prayers and put my whole trust in Him again. I'm sure your persistence to show up in my life is one of his unfolded Wisdoms too. I'll just patiently wait for it all to unfold.