Hello to anyone who's still here!

I haven't been writing much lately. Reading my previous blog post about promised updates just seem like a dream, honestly. Ironically, I still have the fanfic I mentioned years ago. I just read it and while it's cringe-worthy, I think I might just publish it after all. (Do let me know if you're interested).

I have had many feels since listening to Changmin's solo, Beautiful Stranger. The inspiration has been flooding my neurons and I've been tempted to pick up the pen again. I even signed myself up for a fanfiction prompting site for YunJae. Oh, I definitely studied English Literature for this.

I cannot wait to meet you guys in the world of words again. It sincerely touches my heart when I log into this portal and continually receive notifications of people reading my fanfictions, loving them again as I once did.

I will try not to let you, my fellow Cassies, down.

Meanwhile, enjoy the first chapter of the fanfiction I wrote years back. If you want more, just let me know. I'll post the half-written fanfiction up and complete it eventually:

{First Time}

I was ten years old when I first met him. It was a sunny day and the sky was clear. I was sweating profusely by the time I reached the fields; the only getaway away from the school I was bullied in. Like The Secret Garden in the book I once read, the fields were my very own secret garden and it was the only form of comfort I had. No one knew me there. No one pointed their fingers at me or laugh at me. It was my freedom from the hellish world I lived in, until he barged into garden and tore it into pieces.

I wish I could say it was a life-changing moment the instant our eyes met. I wish I knew what I was getting into. Surely, if this was a romanticized drama, it would be love at first sight. I would meet him again and we would fall madly in love with each other. Emotional music would play in the background and our lips would meet just as the last flicker of sunlight faded into darkness. He would whisper endearments in my ear and I would respond in kind with a gentle kiss on his forehead. It would be a perfect love story. I would be beaming with happiness, and so would he. We would be the lead roles of a film in making. It could even be a world-class movie! And I really wish life could turn out like that, but the truth is, there was nothing special between the both of us at all. No sparks flew at our first meeting. There was no quickening of heartbeats or awkward smiles experienced. He simply smiled at me and extended his hand out to me, as though we were long lost best friends and not two strangers who just happened to meet each other under the most ordinary of circumstances.

I remembered the first time he did that; I slapped his hand away in anger. I was furious and humiliated. I did not need his pity or his sympathies. I was alone and I was fine with it. I did not need a friend. I did not need him. Still, like the persistent person he proved to be, he continued waiting for me every day in the fields, always extending his hand to me with a bright and idiotic smile on his face. My glares had no effect on him. In fact, they made his smiles even brighter. It had turned into a challenge for him. The more I glared at him, the more he laughed. It annoyed me tremendously but there was nothing I could do about it. Out of exasperation, I decided to stop going out to the fields. I thought it would make me happier, seeing as I would no longer have to see his face and the irritating aura of happiness that always seemed to surround him, but as I found myself missing his laughter and his smiles, I realized instantaneously that I was dead wrong about everything. Kim Jae Joong, as much as it pained me to say, might very well be the first love of my life and I, Jung Yun Ho, might actually miss his entire being.

Panicking, I ran back to the fields as fast as I could. I prayed that he would be there. I wished fervently with all my might, but he was no longer there waiting for me. Subsequent days of waiting yielded the same results. He was nowhere to be seen. Like the wind, he had vanished without a word, leaving no traces of him behind.

He was gone, and with it, he took my entire world away with him.

I felt the rough blades of grass beneath me as the tears slipped down my cheeks, taking the scent of my first love away with the wind. I was alone in the fields and for the first time ever, I felt lonely.

Watching the sun set in the distance, I cried.

Ciaos!

- amejunk