yo peace. 

some of u have probably forgot me since i havent been on this website for like ages.  i lived in boarding school and no phones. gratefully, i graduated my high school. im so happy about it.  

so my life has been a whole mess. i broke up with my boyfriend and it took me two whole weeks to move on. it is not easy. trust me. i used to really love him but turned out he was just another who uses the excuse 'im afraid im not the best for you' to ing break up with me. i mean thats stupid but yeah whatever it passed already. 

i was watching this youtuber called emma chamberlain and i love her so damn much. i love her just the way she is. i love how relatable she is. she's not afraid of being herself even tho sometimes she does have anxiety too. what made me like her more was probably bcs whenever she gets into meltdown,  she will find a way to get out from it which is very productive for me. i really wanted to be like her. she really inspires me and the way she handles hate is just perfect. 

i love her.

and thanks to my ex, i actually knew emma after i got into the dolan twins. my ex was a big fan of the dolans and he said he wanted to be like grayson but i thought that is just another bull he pulled out so whatever. and i actually liked them a lot.  some of the dumbest ppl ive ever seen and i really love them.  they are so inspirational and how they were so honest about everything was a total mood booster for me. i regretted i had never know them before.  

so actually emma inspires me to vlog. i mean, i actually really like talking abt dumb stuffs, roast ppl and make stupid things together with my hoes (aka my twin, i really do have one tho). idk but i actually really like being dumb despite im actually smart too.  idk. being smart can be really tiring sometimes. 

u know how ppl always expect a lot from u?  that . i feel like when i couldnt fulfill what ppl expect me to achieve. so in the end i just decided to show how dumb i can be so they wouldnt know that im actually not that dumb when i think. u get that? bcs that doesnt even make sense but whatever. 

so i was waiting for my exam results (idk i only target 7A out of 9A bcs that is what i got for my trial and that is good enough for me), i took license for car and motorbike. i almost got my motor license haha it was actually very easy. i passed the mock test and yeah currently waiting for the real one. 

and how the did i got from talking abt emma to talking about my license.  

oh yeah it was about vlogging. 

i was considering vlogging as something real i wanted to do since i know in the future i wont be doing something i love (aka being a novelist but my mum wanted me to become a doctor haha no). so thats probably something i can do to actually rant and do some dumb stuff on screen without having anyone complain about it since i can make money out of it. money wasnt really the thing. i just need a place to rant and have ppl to understand me. i have been surrounded by so many toxic ppl till the point that i lost trust. srsly man i have never put something on read but i did that to one of my 'friend' bcs she was being so toxic. i mean, i cant blame her. who knows if im toxic in someone else's life too?  sorry anyway.  

okay so i just needed a place to rant bcs my life have been a whole mess. no one actually understands me to the most. if i had a boyfriend, i would probably rant to him but haha not anymore. so thanks for those who read this i appreciate it a lot.  i love u guys. bye!