Hi everyone, lunacrowne here.

First off, hope you all have been having a happy and wonderful New Year thus far! One of my resolutions this year is to keep writing lots, but there has been something that I have been wanting to just kind of get off my chest so I'm just going to put a lengthy word dump here. (using this blog for the first time!)

--- About B.A.P. and an indefinite daejae hiatus ---

B.A.P. was the first kpop group that I liked, and they were the ones that got me into kpop after all I knew was anime and cpop. They embodied everything I enjoyed musically, which was rock and roll concept and a lot of experimentation with hiphop and trap. I fell in love with their performances onstage and personalities offstage, and most of all their relationship between everyone in the group. Daejae became my first OTP ship for a lot of different reasons (but I won't 

When the lawsuit happened, I was in shock because at the time I only discovered them recently for a few months. During the hiatus I missed them and their music, but I missed daejae the most. So I wrote my first fic ever about them (Drop a Dime, which I havent continued to this day haha), and I just kind of kept writing because I loved all the au possibilities and the chances to improve my writing.

During the lawsuit, I had not intended to seek out BTS or other groups to fill the void BAP left in my heart. I first heard I NEED U, just as the song and without having watched the mv for it, and was instantly hooked by it. I discovered it was by BTS. Then I started listening to their other songs, and watched rookie king, and I eventually warmed up to them.When BAP came back with Young Wild and Free I thought everything would go back to normal. But it seems most Babyz had moved on and after that BAP seemed to revert to those pre-lawsuit days, except without the support from the fandom. BTS continued to make music along the same vein of what I liked and I eventually wanted to find out more about them, but it made me feel guilty that I was focusing my attention on BTS even though BAP was back. I'll kind of get back to this in a bit.

I have continually tried supporting BAP's comebacks and keeping up with the latest news, but due to all that has been happening revolving BAP and the abysmal management of TS/TSnake/T it has been draining to say the least. (By the way, I'm happy that Yongguk and Junhong have left. But can I say it's been one heck of a ride getting to this point?? And the fact that the members that still have contract time to do and can't leave are at the whims of TS for the most part?? Of course, I'm still hoping that someday we can see BAP perform together as 6 again, though it might not be anytime soon.)

Originally I had thought it to be a pretty bad case of writer's block and contributed that to why I struggled to update my BAP/daejae fics, but as I thought about it, I think this was been the actual reason:

I am not inspired by BAP / *gasp* daejae anymore.

This doesn't mean that I love BAP any less than I did before. It's just that, now it doesn't feel appropriate for me to write about them and the daejae ship anymore. I started writing for fun and it doesn't bring good memories like it used to.

I lost inspiration for daejae, and would have completely lost interest in writing other original stories as well, if I had not started writing BTS fics. I just find that it is easier to write BTS fic now. I shuffle between ships because I find that different ships suit different aus, but nowadays I've been writing a lot of yoonkook/sugakookie and namkook/kookiemonster. The muse just feels more inspired to put the thoughts into words, I guess?

Maybe this isn’t really a big deal, and I’ve only been making a big deal out of it because I was being too serious about it. Plenty of fans are multifandom now with other combinations of k-pop groups...

--- About the status of ongoing BAP/daejae fics ---

This really only applies to the Keep it Intact forensics!au and theTroublemaker spies!au.

Many readers have expressed that they miss the forensics!au daejae fic and I have sworn time and time again that I would update, but I haven't.

To this day, Keep it Intact has been the most popular and most read fic I've written. I also had great fun and was inspired for each chapter of it. And I haven't updated in like years.

I think in addition to the whole thing above about losing inspiration from BAP/daejae in general, this also is a little personal.

The most profound reason is that one of my family members ended up being sent to the coroner in a forensics lab. It has definitely been a sad experience for me, and jarring, because I was so close to the place I've not only watched so many CSI shows about, but have personally written about for a harmless fic.

Honestly it has been hard to resume said forensics!au fic because it essentially brings back bad memories. Now, the whole incident doesn't affect me much anymore because it's been two years already, but it is still a loaded topic I've been trying to avoid with people because I don't want to upset others with a problem of mine.

I hate to label a fic discontinued because I didn't want to be that kind of author with dead fic, so I decided to keep it ongoing. The story is completed but I have to put it into a coherent few chapters. I may return to it someday, but probably not now. Therefore, indefinite BAP/daejae fic hiatus. ;; At some point this week I'll post on the actual stories themselves too.

This has taken me around two years to write this all out, but Im glad now that it is out and off my chest. I would like to continue writing in some shape or form, and I've been thinking of starting fresh again with a desolate Twitter. I'll revamp my Tumblr, where I used to post fic, but seeing as how everyone is leaving that site nowadays I'll probably use Twitter more.

I want to thank every one who has taken the time to read my fics, and I'm sorry for the wait if you have been waiting for an update. It means a lot to me and is something that keeps me going in spite of all the things that have happened with my personal life. <3

Tldr; at the moment I've decided to not continue/put daejae and bap fics on hold, and will be focusing on bts fics like yoonkook/namkook specifically. But this has been for a number of reasons, and regarding why forensics au hasn't updated its because of personal loss.

And uh, continue finding my fics on ao3. If I update daejae I'll put it on aff, for now new fics will be on ao3. I don't really do the kofi thing, but if you like my fics and would like to support me, please consider reading my new stories.

Thank you!