hi, it's me liz! today marks 7 years since i've become a part of AFF community. time flies really quick. i remember when i first found AFF. i was 14 going to 15, i was bored in the hospital taking care of my aunt who went through a surgery. idk how but i kinda found my way here. it's kinda fascinating at first like "this kind of things really exists". so, here i am now.

 i've been jumping into one account to another account because i'm an indecisive kind of person. i'm the type who likes constant changing. i have old accounts with old writings and old ships that i don't feel like continuing anymore. i have like 8 accounts include this but i'm really only using this one. the others are just history filled with childish writings and countless, unbearable grammatical errors. i don't even know why i keep trying to "start new" by creating new account, but i do know that it's not really a good thing. i'm trying to overcome it.

being in AFF has really taught me so much. it's always been with me, growing up together. i was just a kid back then, not knowing anything, but now, i'm 21 going 22; i could say that AFF has brought up the good/potential in me. there's a lot things to say but i just don't know how, but what i know is it's taught me to be confident to express what you feel in a verbal way. in your own kind of way. it's had helped me with school; mainly working on my english skills since english is my second language that is compulsory to learn in my country. the language has grown to me that now i'm pursuing in english major, trying to push my luck to be an english language teacher, or maybe a journalist in a local english language-based newspapers. it's had also helped me to develop what's inside of me. i started to appreciate other's writings, the feelings they tried to convey through their characters and plotlines. i tried to learn how to accept other's compliments and critics. it kinds of help me to be matured, somehow. 

i never knew such trivial things like being a part of AFF could teach me a lot of things that i couldn't find in the real world i'm living. it's always been for fun, but also at the same time, i've learned something new from here. for example, awareness on things that really matter; issues of mental healths and environment. meeting new people is one of them, but i'm damn too shy to make friends. most importantly, being a fictional writer here had actually helped me to see a clear sight of what i'm actually interested in. of what i think i'm capable of doing(?) - something like that.

7 years is a really long time for me, because i'm someone who needs constant changes. someone who can't stand the same things all over again. someone who loses her interests real quick. so, it's quite surprising to still be here after so many years of absolute growth and changes. especially when i get to witness AFF's rapid and constant changes of features and growing numbers of members, it makes me happy.

the time when i first found AFF, i was a shawol (idk if i still am lol) - not to mention that i was a huge jonghyun stan that time. he was the reason why i got attached to AFF. which also today marks the first anniversary of his passing, such a coincidence. it just makes me so sad right now. i can't even explain it. he inspired me so much back in the time. he played a huge part in my life when i was trying to pass by my teen years of hell because living in a boarding school was quite terrifying yet memorable. it's truly sad knowing that he's the reason why i'm here in the very first place, but he's resting well now. he will always be remembered, loved, and missed.

so i'm still being indecisive (i don't like my writing style and some of the ships i wrote), but i promise this will be the last time. i'll be moving into another new account. i'll try moving everything to the new account asap. a few days, maybe, before i deactivate. so, thank you fate 2011 for bringing me here.