So last Thursday and Saturday I saw iKON live for the first time, in Sydney and Melbourne respectively. Here are my thoughts. 

Random thoughts:

- Before the Sydney show I was nervous af. Honestly, I couldn’t eat, couldn’t concentrate on , I was trembling, I was alternating between rambling like a madwoman and sitting in silence staring into space. My poor sister thought I was losing it. Think Hanbin in On Hiatus when Bobby texts him he’s outside his house and wants to speak to him in chapter 4. I was THAT. 

- I was so nervous because I felt like there was SO much at stake. I’ve written sooo much about these boys (over 337,000 words?!), I’ve spent so much time (enjoyable time lol) wondering about them, hypothesising how they’d respond to different situations, basically doing full on character studies. I was so scared that I’d go to the concert and what if….I’d gotten them wrong, I’d totally misunderstood them…what if they weren’t quite like what I imagined. What would happen then?? Would I be disappointed in myself?? Disappointed by them?? That wouldn’t be fair to them at all because they are PEOPLE not CHARACTERS!! And I would be disappointed in myself about that too!! So anyway, long story short, I was terrified some kind of disappointment would be inevitable. 

- So of course I was nervous (bats aggressively swooping in my stomach) right up till when they finally appeared. However, I was amazed that instead of feeling awe, or surprise, or disbelief, when I saw them lined up about to begin Bling Bling, I just felt insanely happy. Like childishly, innocently, joyously happy.

- I was so thrilled by how good the vocal line sounded live. Their voices sound SO clear, strong and full of colour. It was amazing to FEEL their voices echo and project in the room. The sound was better in Sydney however, for some reason their voices were more muffled in Melbourne, not sure why. May have been to do with my location in Festival Hall. 

- I wish Sydney iKONICS were a bit more friendly to one another. I felt like a village idiot when I smiled at some people and they just looked at me with confused, dead eyes. Like come one guys, can’t we all bond over this incredible experience?! Can’t we kill time in the massive- queue by getting excited together (But Sydney is a catty city, so that didn’t surprise me too much tbh) ?!?!

- They were all SO so So sweet and very endearing. They were just…adorable. I felt so affectionate and proud of them. 

Now, about the Boys themselves:

- They were all INCREDIBLY handsome in real life. Even more handsome than on tv or in photoshoots. Like, I dunno what it is about seeing them in real life, but they were just really stunning. 

- In Sydney especially they were tired (but did a very noble job of pushing through). In particular Hanbin, and I felt a wave of concern for him when he was bent over puffed at one stage. Bobby and Donghyuk were up there hyping up the crowd with “WHO WANTS ANOTHER SONG” and poor Bin was just shaking his head laughing, trying to catch his breath. You could really tell he was ready for a good 15 hours of sleep. 

- In Melbourne they all seemed to be more rested, except maybe Bobby. He did his very best not to let on he was tired, (and don’t get me wrong, he still had plenty of energy) but he was a bit more reserved in Melbourne than in Sydney and struggled to get his words out more when speaking english. Every now and again he seemed a bit distracted in Melbourne, like maybe his concentration was off. 

- The one thing that DID blow my mind, was that ALL of them - but especially double b - were exactly as I had imagined and written them to be. As a writer, I’ve tried my best to interpret them as accurately as possible from the sources given to us: tv shows, performance recordings, the music, the survival shows, the interviews, the radio appearances, etc. etc. How this whole time I’ve also been acutely aware, that no matter how hard I try, how can I truly get a “vibe” from someone when I haven’t seen them in person. Seeing them live made everything make sense. 

- Bobby had this gorgeous, outward energy, just the way I imagined him to be. He was so sweet towards the boys, but also devilishly cheeky and when he got the chance. As for his interaction with the audience, you could really tell he wanted to give us a good performance, it was like he really wanted to give us a gift and for us to love it. You could really feel how lucky he felt to have us there screaming and singing along, how appreciative he was (like dude, no, thank YOU!! NOT US!!). In Melbourne a small smile he shared with Hanbin suggested that special connection which made my heart soar. They clearly have a very deep connection, whatever that may be. Overall I would describe him in real life as Generous and uplifting. 

- Han ing Bin, my ultimate bias. Oh god. I was blown away by how similar he is in real life to how I have imagined. He had this incredibly complex, fascinating energy riddled with paradoxes. He was eccentric yet very in tune with the crowd, dorky yet intimidating, reserved/shy but very sweet, rather dreamy and in his own world, yet always very in control, unassuming yet also proud and a bit aloof. Maybe aloof isn’t the right word…maybe detached? But I guess what I’m trying to say is that I think he has a very good poker face, it’s his professional/leader face. He takes his responsibility to deliver a good concert very seriously and so he doesn’t always look like he can “let himself go.” But at the same time, I really got a sense that underneath the poker face he was feeling a lot, thinking a lot. He was doing a lot of work, but keeping that to himself.. Finally, he struck me as someone who has made the brave commitment to be himself unapologetically, but he’s still learning who exactly he is. I’m really excited to how he turns out, but if my gut feeling is right, he will only continue developing as a person, he won’t just find himself and stop there. He is like a pokemon, there are going to be many evolutions for him and that’s EXACTLY why I love him so much. I would sum him up in real life as Sensitive and Inquiring. 

- Jinhwan was just as feisty, cheeky and cute coy as I imagined. He was in high spirits, and I think he’d impressed himself with his english skills so he was very confident on stage, he really knew how to work the crowd. I really got a sense of his love of attention. He was so charming, cute and willing to indulge the crowd. I didn’t see his mum-side but I’m glad about that because I feel like he doesn’t need to be in that mode when all the boys are having fun on stage, he can just focus on being his naughty, y self. I would summarise him as Playful and Engaging. 

- Donghyuk was a total darling and omg he looks soooo handsome in real life. I really got a sense of his attentiveness towards the fans, he really did his best to engage with us, asking questions, complimenting the city he was in, joking around, singing other songs whenever he got the chance. Diligent and Caring, that’s DK in a nutshell. 

- June!!! So June was like Chanwoo and Yun, they kinda let the other boys take the floor and lead the show. Totally fair enough. I can’t begin to imagine how vulnerable one must feel when you have no idea wtf the being said and you’re up there on stage with everyone watching. Two things with June. One, I could NOT believe how dramatically handsome he was in real life. Like, his raven-black “comma-styled” hair, the way it contrasted so boldly with his pale skin, his muscular tallness, the way his white t-shirt hung off his frame so casually yet perfectly, his striking brows, strong profile and chiseled jawline…like, he was GODLY.  Out of this world. From another universe. He was stunning. In terms of the vibe he gave me in real life: Cool and eccentric. 

- Yun!!! Bless him!!! I really just wanted to hear more from him…although i totally get why he didn’t have the means to express himself more. But what he couldn’t communicate through words he really poured into his singing and interaction with the fans. I was really impressed by his voice live, he has such a nice warm tone. And he really put heart into his lines and high notes. His showmanship was very impressive. I would summarise him as heartfelt and emotive. 

- Chanwoo was SO SO gorgeous in real life. Even from where I stood at the back his eyes stood out so well. He was reserved but not lacking in confidence, he was shy but also very sincere and sweet. His vocals were brief but his husky tone is awesome. I would summarise him as observant and alert. 

- Overall Seeing them was really amazing, it was such a positive experience. All I feel now is the bittersweetness of it all. Before I didn’t know what it was like to miss them, that wasn’t something I had to deal with being a distant aussie fan. But now I’ve seen them twice in three days, I now know what that is like to be in their presence. And honestly, I miss them so much already. my heart feels bruised. Laaaaaaaame.