Hi, it's me :)

I've been on a writing hiatus recently. If you read my last blog post you'll know why. I'm here again to share something I've recently realized as a person. I mean it still has something to do with why I'm in a indefinite hiatus. Let me tell you a little back story...

Around 10 or 11 years ago, I was a problematic child. I was in 6th grade, and you could say myself being emotionally unstable is at it's peak. I mean teenagers that age are sensitive to a lot of stuff. So back then, I labeled myself as an emo. I dunno if it's because it's the trend back then or what. But, I'm not mentally and emotionally stable during that time. I remember making a small scrapbook/journal where I put all my negative feelings and everything I wanted to happen in my life during those times. I even remember labeling the front cover of it with "Lonely Me" written in metallic blue pen. During that time, my family was going through some financial problems. I started to commute going to school (I used to study in a international private school btw), I brought my own lunch box instead of buying from the cafeteria just to save money. Back then, I didn't know the value of money until I started losing friends... Eventually, I started to realize that the people I used to call friends weren't really my friends. I began hanging out with the less popular students and my so-called friends never talked to me again. I became so depressed to the point that I almost hurt myself...

Following that year, I moved to a different school, met new friends which are still my bffs until now.

10 years later, here I am still writing about my feelings... I thought that I was okay and fine. But I guess the ghost that haunted me from 10 years ago never really vanished. I lived a pretty normal live, I have work, my family is ok, my friends and I hang out when we have time. 

But still, those feelings are still here. It never really went away.

Despite having a normal live, I don't really know what's wrong with me. And then I realized, I was being eaten by loneliness all along.

Because of this, I can't find the heart to continue writing for now...

Sorry.

And I am always thankful for your support.

Until then,
dcottoncandy